Rip

“For you…” I could almost imagine his smile behind the mask. “I’ll gift you with both. The pain must happen. Otherwise, we will both be killed. But I can give you pleasure so that when you dream… it’s not of darkness…” He reached for my hand and sucked each finger before kissing my open palm. “But of light.”

I jerked awake with a gasp.

Nikolai was immediately gripping my shoulders, tipping my chin toward him, staring into my eyes like he expected me to turn into a monster or something.

“Sorry.” I gulped as my heart slammed against my chest. “Weird dream…”

“Tell me…” His voice was hoarse, his hands digging into my arms as he pulled me back into his lap. I sat with his body wrapped around mine, his chin resting on my head while he rubbed up and down my arms. “What haunts your dreams at night?”

I shivered. “Pleasure…” I sighed. “And pain… always together.”

“Some would say they are one in the same.”

“You’re a doctor,” I stated dumbly. “What do you think?”

He was quiet. I swore I could almost hear the wheels in his head turning. “I’d have to say that one ca

“Hmm.”

My body felt heavy, but I wasn’t sure why, almost like I’d had a drug-induced sleep, maybe that’s what sex did to a person.

Just remembering the way being in his arms had felt, had goose bumps popping up all over my skin.

“Are you cold?” His mouth found my temple.

“No.” I gri

“Maya,” he growled against my ear, his hands already roaming freely all over my naked body. “Can’t you tell? When it comes to you… I’m completely powerless to say no.”

“Does that mean I can finally ask questions?”

“If you can speak then I’m clearly not as good in bed as I thought.”

His hands flicked my breasts before he chuckled against my neck, flipping me onto my stomach as he whispered against the back of my neck. “But sure, ask away.”

The delicious pressure of having him on top of me was almost unbearable, I couldn’t see him, but I could feel every hard length of him as he entered me.

“I—”

“Yes?”

I had questions so many questions, and narrowing it down just seemed, pointless, but if he said he’d answer one…

“How long have you worked for my father?”

He increased his movements. I cried out as he answered. “Since you were sixteen.”

“You…” I clenched my thighs together, fighting him, holding him off. “You were only twenty-three.”

“I was around your age now when I began working full time for your father, yes…”

“What does he have over you?”

Another thrust. “I’d think you would know that by now.”

“What?” My vision blurred as pleasure exploded all over my body.

“You.” He slowed his movements pressing a kiss to my bare back and whispering, “It’s always been you.”

I need not fear my enemies because the most they can do is attack me. I need not fear my friends, because the most they can do is betray me. But I have much to fear from people who are indifferent. –Russian Proverb

Petrov : I have two new girls to send when you are ready, they are complaining of stomach cramps. I trust you’ll take care of the matter.

Nikolai : The clinic is closed until I return.

Petrov : Say hi to the Italian bastards for me.

Nikolai : I wouldn’t provoke the very beast that stalks you, but to each his own.

Petrov : I have no interest in the Italians anymore… business is too good without them sniffing around. Shall I send the girls?

Nikolai : I’ll text Jac, she can inject the first treatments.

Petrov : Kiss my daughter.

Nikolai : I thought that was against the rules of our agreement.

Petrov : A little bird told me it didn’t matter anymore. Tick-tock, Nikolai, will you confess your sins? I await your return to Seattle.

I didn’t text him back. That was what he wanted. I knew he couldn’t prove shit, but I hated that I felt nothing but guilt and dread the next morning, instead of excitement.

I should feel content.

Instead I felt sick.

I was at Andi’s funeral, gripping Maya’s hand as tightly as physically possible, and all I could think about were those brief moments of pleasure in her arms and how I wanted more.

How, if I was given the choice eight years ago, I would have still been in the same damn position. It had always been about her. It always would be.

And I could never tell her how important she really was to me without exposing my secrets, putting her in danger, and making her hate me forever.

I released her hand then rubbed my fingers along the inside of her arms where the scars remained. Six cuts on each arm.

Twelve cuts total.

All but two were lateral.

Made with glass from the car she supposedly crashed.

The fragments of glass were pushed into her arms to make sure that they looked like they had landed there and then the cuts were made.

The perfect plan.

For seeing something she should have never seen.

The perfect plan, for forcing an eager twenty-three year old into a tyrant’s service.

“A trade.” Petrov shrugged. “Your father said you agreed.”

My father lied, which meant, he must have owed Petrov a lot before his death. But Petrov never collected in money, he collected in blood. Regardless of how rich I was, I would never be able to pay the debt.

“Of course,” I lied smoothly. I was so damn good at lying, at making anyone believe anything, that it was almost boring. “What would you like me to do Petrov? You know besides run a multibillion dollar company and make sure to help you keep your practices… private.”

“Did I say I needed an accountant?”

The hairs on the back of my arms stood at attention. It wasn’t good, or it wouldn’t be good.

“I’ve been told you want to conduct illegal research on the spread of STDs, but can’t manage to get your hands on enough infected women in order to test your illegal drugs.”

“Those drugs,” I spat, “will one day cure AIDS, you bastard!” I lunged for him, but was held back by two men then kicked in the stomach.

I doubled over, trying to catch my breath.

“Exactly.” Petrov gri