Rip

Nikolai’s breathing increased as his hands cupped my ass, and he pulled my body farther down the bed then braced a hand on either side of me. Holding his weight off me, he continued kissing down my arm, stopping at my fingertips, then sucking each finger, like he wanted to taste every single part of me and wouldn’t be satisfied with just my mouth.

I nearly bucked off the bed when he moved to my hips.

“Sensitive,” he mused, I could feel his smile against my skin as he kept kissing. “I could drink you like this…” His mouth moved to my core. “And like this.” I let out a pitiful moan as tingling sensations spiraled outward from where his mouth  caressed me. “Every damn day.”

“Nik—“

With a growl he splayed his hands across my hips forcing my body down when it wanted to go up, to move against him. It was the sweetest torture, and an ache built within me. I squeezed my eyes shut as a warm explosion washed over me.

It felt the same way it had in my dreams.

Only better.

I wanted more of those feelings, more of Nikolai. No, not more. All. I needed all of him.

Police have confirmed that the Pier Killer is not a suspect in the most recent homicide at Pikes Market. –The Seattle Tribune

“MOY,” I WHISPERED AGAINST HER SKIN. “Moy.” My body screamed as I branded her with kisses. Mine, mine, mine, she had always been mine.

I’d never wanted her on paper.

Never needed a contract to know who she belonged to.

Her body had always belonged to me, since that very first kiss, that very first touch, when I replaced the pain with the pleasure, when I broke her.

I inwardly cursed as I expunged the memories of a time long ago, she had been the apple in the Garden, dangled in front of me, her core so tempting and sweet. A voice whispered in the distance. Just. One. Bite.

I bit.

I tasted.

I fell.

Maybe that was where I went wrong. The minute I’d seen her, I had desired her, wanted her, and in all my existence, I’d never coveted something as much as I’d coveted her.

It was a sin.

To want someone so desperately that you would sacrifice anything, actual human lives, possibly your own soul, to have it.

I pushed the memories back into the furthest recess of my mind, focusing on nothing but her pleasure, her release, while silently hoping this would not be the catalyst to her unlocking that precious Pandora’s box, I’d helped lock up so long ago.

Her body responded to my every kiss, my every touch… it was addicting to a man like me, a man who rarely showed emotion, someone who starved others of their humanity—discovering he very much wanted his own, one normal moment.

Boy meets girl.

Boy falls in love.

Girl never leaves.

Maya screamed out in pleasure, I kissed the inside of her thigh then climbed my way, slowly up her body, taking pleasure in the way she writhed beneath me, wanting more than anything to bring her to the greatest heights.

“That felt… too good.” She whispered, mouth swollen.

My hardness against her softness was almost too painful to bear. She reached for me, wrapping her hands tightly around me. I hissed out a curse.

“Show me what to do.”

“Your body…” I whispered, moving against her hand. “Will always know what to do.”

“But—”

“Feel.” I instructed as I moved against her then very gently pulled her hands away even though they felt so good. I hesitated, enjoying the look of hate on her face as I teased her, rubbing myself against her, sucking and nipping her lower lip, moving to her breasts.

“Nik…”

I hesitated, she typically reverted to that name only when she was remembering. My entire body tensed.

“I need… more.” She wiggled against me, then hooked her feet behind me.

I slid against her, chuckling into her neck, before I pressed an open mouthed kiss against her shoulder and inched slowly inside heaven.

Her head fell back against the pillow as I moved.

It wasn’t enough.

It would never be enough.

What the hell was I thinking? One time with her? One moment? Had it been enough all those years ago?

No, it had fed the addiction, the obsession.

And I was adding lighter fluid to dry leaves and tossing a match into the air, praying somehow it wouldn’t start a fire.

Each second that went by, I slid farther inside her, stopping when a look of pure awe slid over her face.

Our mouths met in a frenzy of hot kisses as I moved inside her, setting a fast rhythm, only to slow down as she tightened her grip on my body with her hands.

We were made for one another.

I’d always known it.

And now she did too.

I tried to stop, wanting the feeling of completeness within her to last an eternity, but it was impossible.

With one final thrust, I spent the last of my energy, perhaps the last of my soul… in that moment.

The darkness of our reality descended upon me with a choking reminder that what we’d just shared held the power to destroy everything.

But instead of screaming in horror that she’d just made love with a monster… Maya opened her eyes, as tears streamed down her face she whispered. “Just like my dreams.”

If only she knew…

They were never dreams…

But actual memories.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ve always loved you.”

Her eyes closed.

“And now…” I said in a shaky voice. “You may sleep.”

I could allow her that much.

Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape.—Russian Proverb

MY DREAMS WERE FILLED WITH NIK… I wasn’t sure why he felt so familiar in them, like I could laugh with him, cry with him, and he would embrace me, wipe my tears away and tell me everything would be okay.

His heat surrounded me, and my gaze sought the clock. It read two a.m., which meant I still had a few more hours in his arms. My heavy lids closed.

“It hurts!” I screamed. “So bad.”

“Did you know…” He sounded apologetic. “That some philosophers believe pain is only another state of consciousness? That we can transcend it, if only we allowed our minds to see past the pain?”

“How?” I clenched my teeth together. “How do I see past the pain?”

“Focus on my voice,” he urged, making another slice across my arm. “I will stop when you stop reacting.”

“But—”

“Please.” He sounded like he was in pain. “Please, just try.”

“Why? You’re the one who can stop everything! You’re the one hurting me!”

“What if I promise you pleasure after the pain… what if I promise you something more?”

My vision blurred as the man in the white mask tilted his head, examining me, studying me.

“I said I’d try.”

“I’ve drawn little blood, Maya.”

“I’ll have scars.”

“Scars help us remember… they also, serve as a way to make us forget… I give you scars on your arms in order to imprint something new… it is impossible for your brain to recall events that never occurred. Therefore, I must cause the occurrence, understand?” Another slice. I screamed. “It will not stick if I do not cause either pleasure or pain.”

“I choose pleasure.”

He chuckled darkly. “They all choose pleasure. And I always choose pain.”

“But…”