The Scheme

Her laughter died down, and a second later, her voice turned serious. “Does this go beyond work? I haven’t heard you this down in a while. Usually you love hearing from your mother.” She tried to use humor to break me, but nothing would alter my mood.

“Mom, let me call you later.” I didn’t want to take my sour mood out on my sweet mother. I needed time alone, by myself, to work out the mess I’d made of my life.

“Nope. Not until I know what’s wrong.”

Life had been so much easier in high school. Mom and I had the best of relationships. It was so effortless. She knew all my girl drama and gave me insight on the woman’s mind.

I finally let out a long sigh. “It’s everything, Mom. I just don’t have control of my life anymore. I needed to land this big deal I’ve been working on for a while, and I blew it. All because my head wasn’t in that boardroom. It was on a girl.”

“Oh,” she let out, her voice full of understanding. “You know why this is, don’t you?” Her tone increased in volume, sounding confident. “It’s because you, of all your siblings, live with your heart on your sleeve. Everything you do, whether it’s football, school, or whatever, you live your life through your heart. In college, you played football hard because you loved the game. Your heart leads your life. Honey, it’s one of your greatest qualities. I know you. You weren’t in that boardroom because your heart was somewhere else. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I sighed, both wanting and not wanting to believe her. Maybe I did live through my heart, by my heart. I let my heart rule me. Was that a safe way to live, though? Probably not, but I wasn’t going for safe, was I?

It took less than one second to get the answer—hell, no, I didn’t want to play it safe. I wanted Kendy.

I closed my eyes and pictured Kendy’s beautiful face against the darkness. Her stark blue eyes piercing me, touching my soul.

“Ma . . .” My voice was barely a whisper. “What am I go

“Work will always be there,” she said tenderly. “But you’re going to do what you’ve always done. You’re going to follow your heart.”

She made it sound so simple.

Was it?

EIGHTEEN

KENDY

Brian had texted and called, his voicemails turning from sweet to solemn. I didn’t respond to anything. I wasn’t one to avoid confrontation . . . but with him, I wanted to avoid conflict like it was my deathbed.

I had called my mother back, congratulating her on her engagement, but I was mad that my past was even preventing me from being genuinely happy for my own mother. I cursed my history for leaking into the present and taking this moment from me.

My only saving grace, other than sitting in my apartment and hating myself for being a total bitch, was that I had to work. For the next three days, I’d be working my twelve-hour shifts.

I debated texting him that I had to work, but it would mean he’d have hope for after work.

Strolling the ER floor in a daze, I checked into the nurses’ station, got my list of patients, and started to make my rounds. About three hours in, I strolled to the coffee machine, needing the extra jolt of caffeine tonight, especially since I hadn’t slept well after leaving Brian’s place.

Leaning against the counter, I rubbed my temple with two fingers, attempting to ward off an oncoming headache. I could already feel the begi

I didn’t get headaches often, only in high stress situations, and this would definitely be classified as high freaking stress.

When I peered up, Sarah was strolling in, smirking like she’d won the lotto. She stopped in front of me, but her cheery self didn’t affect my mood. Happiness was contagious, but not with all the confusion reigning over my life.

“Guess what?” she said, her voice peppy and bright.

I squinted up at her, because opening my eyes at full mast only intensified my oncoming migraine.

“What?” I asked, rubbing my temple like I could imprint my fingerprints onto my brain and force the throbbing to cease.

“I heard rumblings that a certain someone is going to ask you out.” She practically bounced on her toes, while nausea crept up my throat at the thought.

I’d heard that one before. I gave her a dubious expression, as if saying, ‘So?’

I should’ve been excited, over the freaking moon about it. Finally, after weeks of pining after James, I’d caught his attention, but my thoughts were constantly on Brian. He was the one who occupied my head and my heart, and I doubted I would get over what had happened so easily.

“I thought you’d be happier to hear my news report. What’s wrong with you?” She quirked an eyebrow, taking in my hunched posture.

“Well, there’s kind of a party going on in my brain. These little drummer boys are in competition with who can be the loudest.”

“Cheer up.” She bumped her shoulder against mine. “Your Dr. Hot Pants is on the market,” she swooned. “And I’m pretty positive you’re next on his list.”

“That’s great,” I said with no inflection in my voice.

She angled toward me as if there was some big secret that no one should know about, which was odd, because there was no one in our vicinity. “He’s interested in you,” she said with a sly grin. “I’m so sure.”

“What do you mean?”

“He asked if you were seeing someone and I specifically told him no. You were free as a bird, ready to fly and soar and get married. I told him you were sweet as pie and talked you up,” she squealed, her eyes brightening. “He’s been asking about you nonstop.”

I pressed my thumbs harder to my temple. Her pitch was only intensifying the pounding, so I shut her out. She kept talking and talking, but I didn’t hear anything. I only saw Brian in my head. Brian’s smile. His blue eyes staring down at me.

Sarah snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Hello. Earth to Kendall. Are you listening to me? He’s going to ask you out.”

I dropped my head, focusing on the floor. The little drummer boy pounding in my brain was turning into a Marine firing a machine gun.

What was wrong with me? This was what I had wanted. This was what I had pla

There was an emptiness in the pit of my belly, and I knew it had everything to do with Brian. I raised my head and squinted up at her. “I don’t know what I want anymore.” My voice was soft as the truth finally leaked out.

Her mouth flew open, wide enough for a fly to pass through. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged, shocking myself with what I was about to say. “I’m just not sure if he’s it anymore.”

Sarah stalked to the other side of me and filled up a cup with water. She pushed the Styrofoam toward my face and held out a Tylenol she’d dug from her pocket. “Take it. I think your headache is interfering with your ability to think clearly.”

I did as I was told because I needed the headache gone, but that wasn’t what was hindering my thinking. Not all of it, anyway.

“James Klein, the hottest man in the universe, who also happens to be a doctor, is going to ask you out.” She tilted in, her face stern. “Don’t make my efforts go to waste.”

I reeled back, wondering how sweet Sarah had been replaced with this pushy chick from Jersey.

But her face softened a moment later. “I’m just saying.” She placed her hand on top of my arm. “You asked me to help you land him, right? Well, here I am, helping you. He’s doing rounds around ten. Just do what you regularly do. I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you. It’s perfect.”

I didn’t answer her. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep, forget about all the chaos ringing through my head and in my heart.

“He gave you the moon, remember?” she whispered conspiratorially. “Your soul mate, as that psychic once put it.”