Hate Me

He gives me a single perfect kiss.

“Go

I smile and roll my eyes at him. “You really think that palm reading stuff is true?”

He laughs, deep and sexy. “Maybe. I like my plan the best.”

The bell rings, so he gives me one more kiss and rushes off late for class.

I’m barely in my seat when Jake says, “All right. Winter Formal. Me and A

“I still can’t believe you guys did it,” I whisper.

He whispers back, “Last night too.”

“Oh my gosh. Did everyone do it last night but me?”

Bryce breaks into a grin of his own.

Jake says to him, “You too?”

Although Bryce doesn’t answer the question, his face is one big smile.

“So, when are you and Aiden?” Jake asks.

“When we want to.”

“So, you don’t want him?”

“Yes, I do. It’s just complicated.”

“I know you did it fast with Dawson. Why is it complicated with Aiden?”

“It just is. So, how are you going to ask A

“She’s one of those fairy tale girls.”

“What do you mean?”

“She wants the fairy tale.”

“We all do, Jake. You want to make the big gesture.”

“Exactly. Would it be lame if I wore my prince costume from the play?”

“What else are you thinking?”

“I’m not sure. I wish it would snow big. It’d be fun to ask her outside, throw glitter down on her from, like, the dorm window or something. Ride up on a horse.”

“It’d be easy to set up on the stage in the auditorium. We could have glitter and fake snow float down from the sky. You could use the castle backdrop. It’s too bad we don’t hold pep rallies there.”

“Wait. That’s it. I’ll do it at the pep rally.”

“Do what?”

“Shhh,” he says, as he gets out a notebook and starts making a list.

Broke me inside. 

Soccer

I get Cooper to let me leave soccer a few minutes early, sneak into his office, and call Damian.

I need to know something.

When he answers, I say, “Damian, in St. Croix you were going to tell me something.”

“Yeah.”

“Was it that B is seeing someone?”

“Yes.”

“Are they serious?”

“You know B. He doesn't really do serious. I met her in Japan.”

“What was she like?”

“She works for one of his sponsors—selling t-shirts and modeling bikinis in their tent—so she travels around with the tour. She's blonde, cute. Honestly, she reminds me of you. But . . .”

“But what?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but she reminds me of the old you.”

“The old me?”

“She does whatever Brook tells her to do. When you guys were touring with us, when he was complaining, all that mattered to you was keeping him happy. Even if it didn’t make you happy. It wasn’t until that last night in London that you stood up to him.”

“So you don’t think it will work out if we got a second chance?”

“I’m not saying that. He’s changed too. He’s not high all the time. He’s more driven and focused. And, for god’s sake, he has a Vuitton duffel bag. I about fell out of my chair when I saw that. All I could think about was your argument about good luggage.”

“That makes me laugh, Damian.”

“Remember what I told you on beach?”

“About living now?”

“Yep. And, selfishly, I’d like you to marry Aiden, so we can be in-laws.”

“I saw you on the cover of the new Teen Beat.”

“And page twelve of People magazine.”

“Please make sure no one photographs you and Peyton together.”

“They won’t. It’s going to be a long, lonely week. Video chatting just isn’t doing it for me. Well, it sorta does it for me. Last night she was wearing a hot little nightie.”

“Do you and B talk much?”

“I talked to him on his birthday, but we’re both busy and, honestly, what we’ve always had in common is you. So, not to change the subject, but I wrote a song for Peyton.”

“The one we worked on at The Crab?”

“No, that’s not finished. This is a new one. I was thinking about singing it to her this weekend, but I don’t want her to think it’s dumb. If I play if for you, will you tell me if it’s lame?”

“Tommy says you know who your true friends are if they’ll tell you the truth.”

“And I know you will. Hang on, let me grab my guitar.”

I wait for a second, then Damian says, “I’m putting you on speaker. Here goes.”

“When the stars come out at night,

It's like when you walked in my life.

Burning so bright, 

You became my light.

Oh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh,

Burning so bright.

We’ll light up the sky, 

Like a meteorite.

With our hearts full of fire,

We’re pulsing inside.

Sparked by the flames 

Of a burning desire. 

Oh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh,

Burning so bright.

We’ll light up the sky, 

Like a meteorite.

The day we said goodbye 

Nearly broke me inside. 

And the light won't return 

Until you're in my arms, girl.

Oh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh,

Burning so bright.

We’ll light up the sky, 

Like a meteorite.

Oh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh,

Oh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh.”

He stops strumming his guitar.

“Damian, I’m in tears. The part about saying goodbye. It’s beautiful. And I love the long oohs. Your voice is just so damn dreamy. You seriously amaze me. I don’t think I could ever write something so beautiful.”

“You wouldn’t change anything? Nothing sounds dumb?”

“I wouldn’t change a word. Just know that she’s totally going to cry. She’s a lucky girl, Damian.”

“I think I’m the lucky one. I’m glad you like it. Do you think it’s good enough for me to share with the band?”

“Hell, yes. Is it harder for you to share the ones about her?”

“Yeah, they’re so personal that I lose my ability to be objective.”

“You shouldn’t. You sang that with so much emotion it gave me goose bumps. Hey, random thought, but make sure there are no pics of our families together lying around when she comes to your house.”

“I’m one step ahead of you. All right, I gotta get to the studio.”

“Bye, Damian.”

I lean back in Cooper’s chair, replaying Damian’s song in my head and thinking about B. I know that the day we said goodbye broke me inside.

But I don’t really feel broken anymore.

I just need to figure out a way to keep him safe.

And I think I know how.

  Me:  I’ve been thinking about your safety. You should take the photos of me off your Facebook page and start putting up photos of you and her. Maybe if Vincent thinks you’ve moved on, he won’t feel the need to follow you.

B:  I’m sorry about everything. I think it’s good we’re seeing other people. 

Me: You’re not jealous?

B:  I’m trying not to be. It’s kind of like when I told you I was going on tour. You said you were happy for me, just not happy for you. That’s kind of how I feel.

Me:  That’s kinda how I feel too. I saw her hug you after you surfed. I couldn’t help but wonder if Vincent hadn’t happened if that would’ve been me. Or if you’d have been with her anyway.