Hate Me

But I just screwed everything up.

Damian squints at me. “My dad’s not really on the phone, is he?”

“No. I have a problem. I have to go back to school.”

At first he looks relieved, but then he glances down at Peyton and mutters, “Shit.”

“I know. You’re going to have to keep your relationship a secret. Can you do that?”

He rolls his head, considering options. “She knows I have to go back to California.”

“Is there any way you could suggest that she not tell anyone about you? I know her. She’s going to want to tell the world.”

“Yeah, I’ll make up something. What’s going on? Who was on the phone?”

“Tommy. Garrett called him. Told him that I moved money to some Caribbean bank accounts.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, in case I had to run.”

He takes two steps toward me and pulls me into a hug. “I’m in love with Peyton. But, right now, your safety is priority number one.”

“And hers.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. This is all just so surreal.”

“Tell me about it. Okay, so I have to go tell Aiden that I changed my mind. He’s going to think I’m nuts.”

Damian smiles and waves a hand at me. “Girls change their minds all the time. He won’t think anything of it.”

“I hope not.”

I start to walk toward the door, but change my mind, heading for the bar instead. I take a shot glass off the shelf, fill it with Patron Silver, and slam it down.

As the liquid warms my insides, I take a deep breath and try to figure out how to spin this.

Then I make my way down the beach.

Aiden’s sitting on a chaise, staring out at the ocean. “Is everything okay?” he asks as I sit down next to him.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. My stepdad just wanted to talk to me.”

“What’d he say?”

“He sorta changed my plans. He wanted—no, he insisted—that I go back to school. He says my mom will be fine.”

I get the blazing smile. “That’s good news. On both accounts.”

“Yep,” I say.

He narrows his eyes at me. “You don’t look excited.”

“I don’t like when my plans get changed.”

He tucks his hand under my chin and smiles. “Well, in this case, you should. Think of all there is to look forward to. Basketball season. French weekend. Winter Formal. The first big snowfall. And you’d be in trouble with my sister if you missed the dance competition. And let’s not forget French tutoring.”

I nod and put on a fake smile. “So, um, I’m go

“Okay,” he says, giving me a quick kiss.

After he goes in the house, I run to the shed. I take a moment to run my hand across my surfboard and pray that I’ll get to use it again. Then I take one of the extra wish bracelets and sneak to the mermaid fountain. I toss a pe

We say goodbye to Damian, who is taking a company plane back to L.A.

Peyton and Damian’s goodbye takes quite a while, so Aiden and I leave them to their kissing and board. When Peyton finally joins us, she’s in tears.

I give her a big hug, feeling bad that someone else is hurting because of me.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m going to crash,” she says with a little smile. She puts in headphones and seems to be out before we even take off.

“Have you talked to anyone from school since we’ve been gone?” Aiden asks me, taking what he seems to consider his normal spot, lying across the couch with his head in my lap.

“Just a couple Happy Thanksgiving texts. How about you?”

“I texted Logan and Riley off and on.”

“How was their holiday?”

“Well, Maggie showed up at Logan’s house in tears . . .”

“Wait. Why?!”

“Got in a fight with her parents, I guess. Logan said she didn’t want to talk about it, so he’s not really sure what happened.”

“That sucks. And what about Riley?”

“It was his idea to hijack your plane.”

“It was?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought the moon . . .”

“I took the moon down. It pissed me off.”

“Why?”

“It was mocking me,” I stupidly say.

Aiden laughs. “Mocking you? How?”

I don’t answer. Just put my head down and knead my brow line with my fingers. “Because I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Are you okay?” Aiden moves my hand off my face, sits up, and looks directly into my soul.

“Yeah.”

“You’re not very convincing. Do you not want to go back? Would you really have left me without saying anything?”

“I told you goodbye.”

“Goodbye for break, not goodbye forever. In St. Croix, you said you’re always coming back for me. Did you mean it?”

“I said that I was coming back for you then.”

“And then I said you better always come back for me. You agreed.”

“No, I didn’t.”

He laughs. “Yeah, you did. You squeezed my hand. I knew what it meant.”

I stop smiling and sigh. “Aiden, things are so up in the air. I shouldn’t be making promises to anyone.”

“Then answer me this. Are you glad you’re here with me now?”

His question cuts through all the What if scenarios in my brain and speaks directly to my heart. And my heart knows there is only one way to reply. “Yes.” I close my eyes, willing back tears.

“Don’t cry. No more crying.”

“Then stop making me cry.” I laugh.

“So, being with me makes you cry?” He chuckles as he clutches at his chest. “Ouch, that hurts.”

I place my hand over his and say seriously, “It’s the thought of not being here with you that makes me cry.”

He cradles my face in his palms. “I was serious, Keatyn. Wherever you go, I go. Whatever family stuff you need to deal with, I’ll help you. You don’t have to face it alone.”

I can’t say anything. His determination—his belief that we can accomplish anything together—is so touching. I lean forward and thank him with my lips.

After kissing for a bit, he lays his head back in my lap. “You’re going to sleep the whole flight, aren’t you?”

He gives me a wink, then shuts his gorgeous green eyes.

For a while, I just watch him. The way his breathing slows down. The way his hair lies against my stomach. His long, dark brown eyelashes splayed across his cheeks. I run my hand across his forehead and into his hair, causing him to sigh.

Once I know he’s asleep, I grab my phone and get to work.

Starting with an instant message to B.

Me:  We got cut off during all the craziness of your wi

B:  Me too, Keats. Things are so up in the air. You know, like, personally. 

Me:  Yeah, I know. B?

B:  What?

Me:  I wa

B:  Me too. Tomorrow night <3

I stare at the heart until my eyes go fuzzy.

Then at Aiden, who’s now sleeping on his side, one strong arm curled above his head and the other hugging my waist.

That’s when the guilt sets in.

The guilt. 

I feel guilty. Guilty for feeling the way I do about Aiden.

Guilty about the promises I’ve made to them both.

And guilty for feeling happy about the heart.

I shake my head as I message Garrett, telling myself to take it one step at a time.

Me:  Meeting tomorrow. The usual place. 9:30am?

Garrett:  I’ll be there.