Lying Out Loud

God, he was persistent. How the hell did Bianca put up with it?

I ducked under a low-hanging tree branch, both to avoid his eyes and to save myself from getting smacked in the face. “He’s new in Hamilton, and he’s kind of a tool. I thought I hated him, but then I got to know him and he’s not so bad…. He’s kind of great, actually.”

“Doesn’t sound too complicated so far.”

“Well, here’s where it starts, then, because he likes Amy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Wesley thought about this for a long moment as we wove between the trees, our feet sinking deep into the snow. “Does this guy — this kind of a tool, kind of great guy — know that you like him?”

I shook my head.

“So how do you know that he doesn’t like you?”

“Please excuse me while I have horrifying middle school flashbacks triggered entirely by this conversation.”

He laughed. “Fine. Better question. Why do you like him?”

“He’s …” I smiled a little as a snowflake drifted down and landed on the tip of my nose. “He’s a lot like me. He gets me in a way a guy never has before. And I think I get him, too.”

Wesley gri

I might have blushed if my face wasn’t moments from becoming an ice cube.

“You should tell him how you feel,” he said. It was so nonchalant. So casual. Like what he was suggesting was the simplest thing in the world.

I had no idea he was so dumb.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“We’ve already established this.”

I bit my lip.

“From what you’ve said, it sounds like he might feel the same way about you.”

“I’ve barely said anything,” I pointed out. “And, no. He likes Amy. She’s sweet and gorgeous and I’m …”

“You’re what?”

He wasn’t letting me off the hook.

“And I’m … not Amy.”

Wesley stopped and put his gloved hand on my arm, turning me to face him. I had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

“Okay,” he said. “Listen to me. First, stop comparing yourself to Amy.”

“There’s no comparison —”

“Stop.” He glared at me, daring me to speak again. I didn’t, and he continued. “You’ve got to stop sizing yourself up. I know it seems like it matters now — I used to think so, too — but it doesn’t. Trust me.”

I rolled my eyes. That was easy for him to say. He was a Rush. He was gorgeous and well liked. And it wasn’t like I thought I was hideous or anything. I just knew that someone who found Amy attractive probably wouldn’t be as interested in me.

“Second,” Wesley said, drawing my attention back. “Are you really going to let this get between you and my sister?”

Guilt twisted my stomach, and I swallowed. “I don’t want it to.”

“Then don’t,” he said. “This guy might be as great as you say, but you two have something special. You’ve been inseparable from the minute you met. Like peanut butter and jelly.”

“Ew.”

“Right. I forget you don’t like peanut butter and jelly … but Amy never forgets. Did you know that when our parents took you two to the beach as kids, Amy would make your sandwiches herself? Dad would always forget and make peanut butter and jelly for everyone. So Amy would make you a different sandwich and pack it herself.”

I looked down at my feet. I didn’t know that, but it didn’t surprise me.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you two,” he admitted. “I don’t know how this guy figures into it. But I do know that both of you will regret it if you don’t fix things.”

“She won’t talk to me,” I said. “How can I fix things if she won’t talk to me?”

“Be patient with her,” he said. “You know Amy. She’s not like you and me. Sometimes it takes her a while to put words to what she’s feeling. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

“Yeah,” I said, sighing. “You’re right.”

“I know. I usually am.”

I snorted. “Whatever you say.”

“Come on. Let’s head back to the house. Bianca will kill me if I die of frostbite at her grandfather’s cabin.”

“But you’d already be dead, so …”

“That wouldn’t stop her.”

We got turned around a few times on the way back — in our conversation, both Wesley and I had forgotten to pay attention to where we were going. Just when morbid thoughts of the Do

We rounded the corner of the cabin just as his Porsche began making its way up the driveway.

“Hey, So

“But —”

“And don’t assume you know how he feels,” he said firmly. “You can’t read his mind. Give him a chance. He might surprise you.” He smiled, watching Bianca as she climbed from the car.

“Hey,” she yelled, waving him over. “Are you go

His smile turned to a grin as he hurried to her, our conversation clearly completely vanishing from his mind. “What’s in it for me?” he asked as she rolled her eyes and shoved a bag into his hands.

I hung back, watching them for a long moment. Wesley’s words had left me a little a stu

And he’d sort of implied it about me.

Maybe Wesley was right. Maybe Ryder would surprise me if I just gave him a chance.

And as for Amy, I just needed to be patient. She’d come to me eventually, and we’d work things out when she did.

Chapter 20

Bianca hadn’t disappointed when it came to snacks for the night. She bought candy, popcorn, and a gallon of chocolate-swirl ice cream. Not to mention more Cherry Coke than a person could or should even drink in two days, which was all that remained of our Appalachian adventure.

The four of us piled into the living room, the fireplace blazing, to watch the ball drop. Amy stayed quiet, as she usually did when I was in the room now, but I tried to keep my spirits up. Partly because of what Wesley had said — knowing that when Amy was ready, she’d talk to me — but mostly for Bianca’s sake. This trip had been her idea, after all, and I hadn’t been the most pleasant guest.

“You sure you don’t want any ice cream, Amy?” Bianca asked.

“No, thank you,” Amy said.

“Not everyone likes ice cream in the dead of winter,” Wesley said.

Bianca shut him up by shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. He reeled back, cupping his hands over his head. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Bianca teased. “Brain freeze?”

Wesley took a few deep breaths, then looked up. “You’re going to pay for that,” he said just before leaping on top of her. She shrieked as he began to tickle her sides.

It was too disgustingly adorable, and I had to look away. Which was when I caught Amy’s eye.

She was watching me, I realized. I gave her a small smile, but it fell fast when she looked away.

“I think I’m go

Bianca and Wesley sat up, both still laughing.

“It’s only eleven-thirty,” Bianca said. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m a little tired. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, well … we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Amy,” Wesley said.

“Good night.” She started down the hallway, toward our little room, then stopped and looked back. “Hey, So

I turned to her, surprised and a little hopeful. “Yeah?”

“Will you come talk to me for a minute?”

“Sure,” I said. “Of course.”

I stood up, then looked over at Wesley, who was giving me a very I-told-you-so look.

“Night,” I said, and left Bianca and Wesley alone in the living room, waiting for the ball to drop.

I followed Amy into our room and quietly shut the door behind me. Amy sat down on the bed, chewing on her bottom lip. I remained standing, leaning against the wall.