Lying Out Loud

I choked back all the fears as my cursor hovered over the PRINT button. I swallowed once, twice, closed my eyes, and clicked.

Before I could change my mind, I found an envelope in Mr. Rush’s desk. I shoved the letter inside, scribbled the to and from addresses, and smacked on a stamp. I’d ask Mr. and Mrs. Rush permission to give their home number tomorrow morning. If they said no, I wouldn’t send it.

But if they said it was okay, I didn’t want any excuse not to drop the letter in the mail.

I put the envelope on the breakfast table, where I wouldn’t be able to hide from it come morning, then I ran back upstairs, buried my face in my pillows, and spent the rest of the night panicking.

Chapter 14

I had hopes of sleeping in on the first day of Christmas break. There was no school and my bookstore shift didn’t start until the afternoon.

Amy, however, had other plans.

The guest room door burst open at eight-thirty that morning. “They got here early!” she squealed as she dashed past my bed to the window, which looked out onto the Rushes’ driveway.

“Mmmm,” I groaned, but I forced myself to sit up. Amy hadn’t been this excited about something in a while, especially not since the awkward flirting incident a few weeks ago. “Who’s here early?”

“Wesley and Bianca!” She hopped up and down as she watched a car pull up outside. She turned and made a dash for the door. “Come on!”

I dragged myself out of bed and followed her downstairs.

Very few things in life got Amy this animated. In fact, only three things: puppies, private Shakespeare recitations, and Wesley.

My feet had just touched the bottom step when the front door opened and a pack of Rushes, plus one, spilled in, along with a burst of cold December wind. Amy shrieked and threw herself at the tallest Rush, who greeted her with open arms.

When Amy detached herself from her brother, she turned and repeated the performance with the shorter, auburn-haired girl at his side.

“Hey, Amy,” Bianca said, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. “It’s good to see you, too.”

At first glance, Bianca didn’t fit in with the Rush family. She was a good half foot shorter than even Mrs. Rush, who was the smallest member of the family. She wore tattered jeans, T-shirts, and faded red Converse, where they wore polished, expensive clothes most people in this town couldn’t afford.

At first glance, Bianca seemed … more like me.

But if you looked closer, at the way they welcomed her, at the way Wesley looked at her, it made perfect sense. Bianca was smart and fu

I didn’t know her that well, but it was clear she belonged with this family.

Meanwhile, I suddenly felt like an intruder. Just some kid mooching off their generosity. Which was why I stayed put on the stairs. As glad as I was to see Wesley, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the family reunion happening before me.

But Wesley, who towered over everyone else in the family, only took a second to notice.

“So

I laughed and accepted the quick hug. “It’s nice to see you, Wesley.”

“Is it?” he asked. “I’ve texted you a few times, but you never replied. I thought maybe you were too cool for me now.”

“Oh, I am,” I assured him. “But, also, my phone is broken. I’ve been using Amy’s.”

Which reminded me that I had a few text messages from Ryder to delete.

“It’s nice to see you again, So

“You, too. How’s New York?”

“Cold.”

“Luckily, she’s got me to warm her up,” Wesley said, putting an arm around her. Bianca rolled her eyes.

“Well, I hate to cut this short,” Mr. Rush said, glancing at his watch. “But I’m sure Bianca’s father will be eager to see her. We can’t hog all her time.”

“I’ll take her home,” Wesley said, grabbing a set from the hook by the door. The keys to his beloved Porsche.

He hadn’t taken it with him to New York. I guess there wasn’t much of a need for it there. But he was clearly excited to get behind the wheel now that he was home.

“Come back over soon,” Amy said. “We have to catch up.”

“Obviously,” Bianca said.

And as quickly as they’d arrived, Wesley and Bianca swept back out the door, while Amy, her parents, and I migrated to the kitchen for breakfast.

“I’m so glad they’re home,” Amy was saying as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. “It’s nice to have the whole family together again.”

“It is,” Mrs. Rush agreed.

A knot twisted in my stomach, and I found myself blinking back sudden tears. I cleared my throat.

“Um, Mr. Rush? Has there been any mail for me?”

Mr. Rush had just filled a mug with coffee. He looked at me over the rim, his eyes knowing. He’d been the one to put my letter in the mail, so he knew exactly why I was asking.

“No, So

“Are you expecting something?” Amy asked.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, the ache in my chest growing as I watched the Rushes bustle around the kitchen, laughing as they bumped into each other and tripped over one another’s feet. “But I probably shouldn’t be.”

Amy raised an eyebrow, and I knew she’d be asking me about it later. I still wasn’t sure if or what I was going to tell her.

“So

“Maybe,” I said. “I’ll see. I’m sure she’d appreciate the invitation.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“Ryder.”

It was embarrassing how surprised I sounded, but he was the last person I expected to find on the Rushes’ front porch. Well, okay. Maybe not the last. That title most likely belonged to the Queen of England or the reanimated corpse of Edgar Allan Poe.

Or my mom.

But Ryder was unexpected, nonetheless. He was wearing an army-green utility jacket, his nonprescription black glasses, and a beanie. He looked hot in that awful hipster way I’d somehow grown to appreciate.

“Hey, So

There may have been a little bit of fluttering in my stomach. Maybe. Just a little. Unfortunately, it was quickly drowned out by the awful realization that I looked like shit.

I’d only gotten out of the shower ten minutes before the doorbell rang. I was dressed, thank God — though maybe if I hadn’t been, he’d have other, more interesting things to look at than my hair, which was wet and tangled and pulled back from my face with a tie-dyed headband I used whenever I put on a face mask. Which I’d been only seconds away from applying when the doorbell rang.

So as timing goes, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

But why, why hadn’t he chosen to come by on a day when I looked amazing? Or when I was wearing some sort of sexy yet classy lingerie? I didn’t even own lingerie, but that seemed like an excellent scenario, and one that would likely go a long way toward furthering progress on my master plan.

Ryder didn’t seem to notice my unflattering hairdo, however.

“Hey. Is Amy home?” he asked.

I managed to keep my composure despite my disappointment. “Nope. She went out to run some errands this morning, and she insisted it would be boring and I didn’t have to come.” I smirked. “You know what that means, right?”

“What’s that?”

“She’s out buying my Christmas present.”

“Oh?” he asked. “What do you think she’ll get you?”

“Well, I asked for a pony,” I informed him. “And I’m not sure I could settle for anything less.”