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“Holly, don’t be ridiculous!”

“Or is it because she’s healthy— normal?”

“Holly!” He stares at me, shocked. “I would never

choose her over you.”

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“Then prove it,” demand. “Tell her the truth.”

He looks at me for

long moment, then rubs his

hands roughly across his face.

“No,” he sighs heavily, his voice cracking. “Holly,

sweetheart, can’t.”

“Then you’ve made your choice,” say, opening the

door, the blood pumping in my ears. “Now go.”

“Holly!”

“Go, Dad! Go on—go to her!”

“Holly-berry, please, let’s talk about this.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Holly …”

Are you?”

He searches my face desperately,

deep frown

furrowing his forehead, his eyes tortured, watery—but

don’t care. He’s choosing her over me—the healthy

daughter over the sick, the brand-new daughter who

looks like his first love over the girl who’s loved him her

entire life.

“Go,” order.

“We’ll

we’ll talk about this more later.” He sighs,

reaching for me as turn away. “Holly, promise, we’ll—”

“I won’t be here.”

slam the door behind him,

cutting him off as the world blurs around me.

Rosie

can’t believe he chose Rosie …

look around the room, my pulse stabbing my

temples as my eyes skim over the wallpaper Dad put up

for me, the keyboard begged him for when was twelve,

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Mr. Brown

Everywhere look, presents and photos and

memories

scream rips from my throat as

fly at them

savagely, shoving and clawing, ripping at the pictures on

the wall, the photos, the posters—tearing at the lies, the

souvenirs of life should never have had. lob books and

shred photos and kick at pile of clothes, when something

small and pink tumbles out of pocket.

snatch it up, about to rip it—when suddenly

realize what it is.

Rosie’s address book.

I’d forgotten all about it. open it up, its neat pink

square small and hard in my hand as flip through it. All

these people I’ve never met. Who might have been my

friends, my family

My thumb stops suddenly as name

jumps out from the thin pages.

Nana Fisher

stare at it, rubbing my thumb gently over the black

ink as if could touch her, see her. This woman who would

have been my nana, my family but for the mistake that’s kept us apart.

My whole life’s one huge, horrible mistake.

Or rather, it wasn’t mistake, at all

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Suddenly my fingers scrabble in the pages, flipping

through quickly to the S section. scan the lines urgently, but it’s all surnames. take deep breath and start at the

begi

pulse racing as my eyes dart over the pages, searching,

searching

Until find her.

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Rosie

We’re tucking into our sundaes by the time Jack

arrives at Pisa Pizza.

“Hi, where’ve you been?” Megan stands to kiss him

as Ben covers his bowl protectively.

“You can’t have any, Daddy!” he sings. “You’re the

last!”

“Meany.” Jack smiles halfheartedly.

“We saved you both some pizza, though.” Megan

smiles. “Where’s Holly?”

“She’s not coming.” He slumps into the booth and

runs his hands through his hair. “She’s moving out.”

“What?” Megan drops her spoon.

stare at him.

“Why?” she asks. “I thought everything was okay

now—Kitty dropped the case!”

“I know,” he sighs. “I think she just needs

some

time alone for while.”

“Where’s Holly?” Ben asks in small voice.





Jack and Megan exchange looks.

“She’s gone on little vacation,” Megan says quickly.

“To the beach?” Ben asks hopefully. “Can we go

too?”

459

“Not this time.” Megan smiles. “She’s gone

somewhere very boring and cold.”

“The North Pole?” Ben asks. “With the penguins?”

Megan laughs. “Something like that. Brrr!” She

tickles him and he laughs.

“I like penguins,” Ben says.

“Well, you obviously don’t like ice cream!” Megan

says, picking up her spoon. “So I’ll just have to eat yours

up!”

“No!” Ben squeals, digging in.

“Good boy.” She ruffles his hair, then looks at Jack

anxiously.

stare at my ice cream melting in my dish, my wafer

sliding over onto its side.

push it up again with my

spoon, but no matter how many times

keep trying to

prop it up, it always slides back down, the pool of slush

getting bigger every time.

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Holly

“Whoa,” Melissa gasps after I’ve told her

everything—almost everything. She may be my best

friend, but as she’s also Josh’s sister, still can’t tell her I’m pregnant. Not before Josh. Not until know if the baby’s at

risk.

If there’s even going to be baby.

“Jeez.” Melissa shakes her head. “Holy crap, Holly.”

nod. That pretty much sums it up.

“I can’t believe it—your dad

Huntington’s

disease

Kitty Clare!

look up quickly. “You can’t tell anyone, Melissa.

Swear it.”

“I swear!” she promises earnestly. “Jeez, Holls, why

didn’t you call me?

must’ve tried your cell

million

times.”

“Sorry, it’s broken.”

“I thought you were avoiding me coz of what

happened with Josh—I was ready to kill him for wrecking

our friendship!”

squeeze her hand. “Never.”

“And then your dad said you were sick when came

around, and you’ve been out of school so long thought

you had mono—or worse!”

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nod. Worse Much, much worse.

“Don’t worry, you can copy all my notes.” Melissa

smiles. “Not that you’ve really missed much. Except

Natalie Van Pelt came back from vacation with the worst

nose job I’ve ever seen though she claims she just had skiing accident, but—yeah, right!” She looks up suddenly,

contrite. “Not that you really care when your life’s going

down the crapper, huh? Sorry.” She squeezes my knee.

“No, it’s okay.”

smile. It’s actually good to think

about something else for

change. “What other gossip

have missed?”

Melissa grins, her eyes sparkling as she spends the

next hour filling me in on school scandals, from fashion

faux pas and disastrous dates to

hilarious horror story

about girl who cut off the school diva’s ponytail because

she flirted with her boyfriend, which has me in hysterics,

imagining the look of horror on Kimberley’s perfect face

when her golden curls plummeted to the floor—priceless!

“Which just goes to show”—Melissa winks—“don’t

get mad. Get even.”

giggle, wiping tears from my eyes, and suddenly

realize how long it’s been since laughed, since thought

of anything but Huntington’s or Rosie or the baby.

Thank God for Melissa.

Just then there’s knock on her bedroom door, and

her mom steps inside.

“Hi, girls.” She smiles awkwardly. “Listen, know

said you could stay over, Holly—and you know you’re

always welcome …” She squeezes my hand and my heart

462

sinks. “But

just got

call from your dad, honey. He’s

really worried about you. think you should go home.”

“Mom!” Melissa exclaims. “You can’t kick Holly