Страница 65 из 89
“Sorry,
didn’t mean to startle you—I was
just
mopping.” show her. “Your dad’s slave driver.”
smile. Your think. Careful to say your
“Right,” she says, hugging her arms around herself.
“Tell me about it.” She smiles weakly, leaving through the
back door.
“Holly, wait.”
follow her outside. “Listen, you
shouldn’t have to pay—for the test, mean. Either of you.”
She turns.
“This is my fault, my responsibility, and
owe
you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Rosie,” she says coolly.
“Least of all money.”
God, that came out wrong— like I’m trying to buy her off or something
“No, didn’t mean …” swallow, choosing my words
carefully. “What mean is
there’s Trudie’s inheritance
money.”
392
She looks at me, surprised.
“It’s yours, Holly. It belongs to you, not me. You
should have it.”
She bites her lip, hesitating.
“I can’t get it for you all at once, obviously, but look,
here’s fifty dollars,” say, fishing in my purse. “I can get
more from the bank later.” hold the money out to her
and she hesitates.
“Thank you,” Holly says finally, taking it. “I’ll pay
you back.”
shake my head. “It’s yours.”
She smiles. “Thank you.”
She folds the notes up carefully and tucks them into
her jeans pocket.
“Well,”
say, anxious not to ruin the moment by
saying or doing anything stupid. “I’d better get on.” head
for the door.
“Wait,” she says suddenly. “Rosie
are you doing
anything tomorrow?”
393
Holly
Rosie’s eyes immediately light up, and hesitate.
Is this crazy? Have gone nuts? What am doing? Of
all the people in the whole world
But then, of all the people in the whole world, who
better? Andy’s gone, and she’s been through this already.
She’s my other half, the flip side of this coin. She thought
she was at risk and now she’s not. thought was fine and
now I’m not. She had her mother’s disease to worry about,
have my baby’s. She’s the girl in the looking glass with
my life—only backward.
“I’m free,” she tells me eagerly. “Tomorrow. All
day.”
smile weakly. “And
do you have Trudie’s
medical records?”
She looks at me, surprised. “I
no, but
could
probably get them …”
“Thanks,” say awkwardly. “It’s just
it would be
good to see them. Find out if there are any more genetic
surprises, you know.”
Rosie’s face fills with pain. “I think it’s just the
Huntington’s,” she says quietly.
nod.
394
“What made you want to get tested?”
blurt
suddenly.
She looks at me, surprised.
“I …” She takes
deep breath, considering. “I
couldn’t live with the not knowing,” she says simply. “I
watched my mum—Trudie, mean,” she corrects herself
quickly. “I watched her suffer and then die and had to
know if it was going to happen to me too.”
nod again.
“But
lot of people choose not to get tested,” she
says quickly. “Jack’s right, you need to take some time,
think about it all properly—”
“It’s all
think about,”
counter. “All
can think
about.”
“I know.” Rosie nods miserably. “Holly, I’m so sorry,
should never have told you. All I’ve done is ruin your
life—”
“No,” say, though it kills me to admit it. “No, Rosie.
You did the right thing. needed to know.” need to know
She stares at the floor. look at her. My reflection.
“Rosie, it’s not your fault,” tell her, gift.
She looks up at me, her eyes filled with tears, then
suddenly flies at me in hug, holding on to me as if her life
depends on it—this girl who’s stolen my life and trampled
on my dreams. should hate her, but how can I? She was
me; now I’m her. This mistake that switched us, that
placed us in each other’s worlds, each other’s lives, has
linked us forever. She’s the only one who can understand.
395
And she didn’t steal my life, not really. She couldn’t
have taken it if it wasn’t rightfully hers. She brought the
truth, and all the harsh realities that carries with it. But
no, she hasn’t stolen my life.
The truth is, I’ve been living hers.
396
Rosie
hold on to Holly tightly, this girl, this amazing girl,
whose life I’ve managed to single-handedly obliterate,
who’s actually accepted my olive branch. It’s just
begi
It
won’t ever make up for the pain I’ve caused, but can at
least do some good.
“Holly, if there’s anything— anything—I can do for
you—if you want to talk, if you need anything at all—”
“Actually,”
she
says
hesitantly.
“Tomorrow
I’m
I’ve decided that—”
“There you are!” Jack calls, opening the kitchen
door. “Someone’s arrived to cheer you up.”
We both look up in surprise. Then follow his gaze
to where Andy stands awkwardly.
Andy My heart soars. This moment, this very
moment I’m making peace with Holly, now Andy’s come
back too. Someone up there’s smiling on me today.
“Hi!” beam. “You’re back.”
“Hi,” he says awkwardly, his hands deep in his
pockets. He glances at Holly.
397
“I’ll—I’ll leave you to it,” she says, moving toward
the door.
“Actually,” Andy says, stopping her, “it’s Holly I’ve
come to see.”
398
Holly
“I wanted to check if we’re still on—for tomorrow?”
Andy asks me. “I’ve left you million voice mails …”
hesitate as Rosie’s face turns white.
“Right,” she says eventually, her voice tight. “Right.
Well. I-I’ll leave you to it, then.” She ducks her head as she
stumbles away around the corner.
glance at Andy, who’s staring at his feet. We stand
in silence for moment, words difficult to find.
“I thought you’d gone,” say eventually. “I think we
all did.”
“I thought about it,” Andy admits. “But wanted to
be here in case you decided—in case you needed someone
to go with you. Tomorrow.” He shuffles his feet. “And
you’ve got my phone.”
“Oh,”
say, fishing in my bag. “Right. Sorry,
completely forgot.”
“You forgot?” he says, surprised. “How’d you forget
when it keeps ringing?”
“It hasn’t,” tell him, pulling it out. “It hasn’t made
sound since—”
“Pass it here,” he says. “It’s turned off.” He smiles,
pressing
button, and the screen comes to life. “You’d
399
better check your voice mail—it’s full.” He shows me,
passing it back. “I thought you were ignoring me.”
“Why would I? I’m the one who—” break off, my
cheeks burning as
remember our kiss. “I’m so sorry,
Andy—I don’t know what came over me last week,
should never—”
He shrugs. “It happens. I’m lovable guy.” He grins.
“Whatever.” smile, rolling my eyes. “But Rosie …”
“Rosie and have got our own problems,” he tells
me. “Don’t worry about us—you’ve got enough on your
plate.” He looks at me, his eyes softening. “So are you still
going? Tomorrow?”
take
deep breath and nod. “I’ve decided I’m
go