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He sighs, troubled frown clouding his brow.
“No.” shake my head, my stomach lurching with
the surging waves. “No, you’re wrong. It matters.”
“Holly,” he says gently. “You don’t even know you’ve
got Huntington’s. You don’t have to worry yet—”
“I do!” argue, the boat rocking wildly. “You don’t
understand!” The icy wind whips at my face, stinging my
eyes. “Nobody does, nobody knows …”
“Nobody knows what?” Andy asks, struggling
against the roar of the wind, the crash of the waves
against the boat.
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“That I’m—”
sudden lurch of the boat sends me
reeling into the barrier, heaving my guts into the swirling
sea below.
“Not seasick, huh?” Andy grins, crouching down
next to me and rubbing my back as collapse, shivering,
onto the deck.
“No,” sigh, swallowing painfully. “Not seasick.”
He frowns at me, confused.
take
deep breath and close my eyes, my head
aching. “I’m not seasick,”
tell him, the words finally
forming on my lips. “I’m pregnant.”
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Rosie
gaze out the car window, craning my neck to try to
see the tops of the brownstone buildings, but they’re too
high—stretching for the sky, snagging the clouds.
People walking by stare as we pass and have to
remind myself that they can’t see me.
glance at Kitty.
How do you ever get used to this?
“C’mon, come on,” Kitty mutters under her breath
as we stop at yet another red light, headed for lunch. She
smiles apologetically at me. “Sorry—city driving is such
pain.” She sighs and leans back in her seat. “It’s really
almost better to—Actually
Jerry, stop the car—pull over
here.”
look up, surprised.
“What?” Janine stares at her. “But Nautica’s still
over mile away.”
“I’ve changed my mind. Jerry, just here will do fine,
thank you.”
“Where are we going?” Janine asks, hastily
collecting her things as we pull to stop.
“We’re going for walk.” Kitty flashes her smile as
she blocks her way. “You stay here with Jerry, and I’ll call
you when we’re done.” She grabs her clutch and winks at
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me as scramble out. “I think Rosie and can manage on
our own from here.”
“What? But—” Janine protests, looking slighted as
Kitty slams the door. “Wait—don’t forget your tote!”
She thrusts her huge Gucci bag through the window
at Kitty, who looks at her for
moment, then rolls her
eyes.
“Don’t need it.” She grins. “Bye!” She waves as the
limo crawls away, Janine anxiously staring after us.
“C’mon.” Kitty smiles at me, tossing her scarf over
her shoulder and hooking her arm through mine. “Quick,
let’s make run for it!”
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Holly
“Oh, my God,” Andy says quietly.
“I know,” sigh.
“You’re sure?”
nod, biting my lip. “About eight weeks or so …”
“Wow
congratulations?” he says tentatively.
glare at him.
“Perhaps not.” He swallows. “What does Josh
think?”
“He doesn’t know,” admit miserably.
“What? What about your dad?”
shake my head. “Nobody knows.”
“Holly!” he stares at me. “Eight weeks?”
nod. “Or so.”
“But Holly—your arm—you could hurt the—”
“I know,” say, my cheeks burning. “It was stupid.
wasn’t thinking. It was one-time thing.”
“Are you sure?”
“I was just upset,”
mumble, pulling my jacket
tighter. “It won’t happen again.”
“Okay,” Andy says gently. “Wow …” He takes deep
breath and sits down beside me.
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close my eyes, the motion of the boat gentler now,
rocking softly, but
still feel sick, everything inside me
sore and trembling.
Andy slips his arm around my shoulders
awkwardly.
“It’ll be okay,” he says gently.
stare at him. “How?”
“I mean—”
“I’m eighteen. I’m pregnant. Oh, yeah, and might
have Huntington’s disease,” fire at him. “Please, Andy, tell
me how it’s all go
“I only meant …” He hesitates, then looks at me, his
eyes deep and blue. “Do you want it?” he asks, his voice
whisper. “The baby?”
close my eyes, tears prickling as remember the
clinic.
“I’m just trying to understand why you haven’t told
Josh,” he says gently. “I mean, before Rosie and
even
arrived, before Huntington’s was ever an issue.”
stare at the floor, my head throbbing, trying to
untangle my thoughts, my feelings.
“Was it that you were afraid he wouldn’t want it?”
trace the grain of the wood with my fingers,
stroking the knots.
“Or were you afraid that he would?”
My head snaps up. “How dare you!” turn on him,
angry and guilt-stricken. “You don’t know me, Andy—you
know nothing about me, so how dare you judge me?”
“I’m not!” he protests.
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“Yes,
was afraid, okay?
was afraid of being
pregnant, afraid of what that means, afraid that Josh
would leave me—or worse, that he’d stand by me just
because was pregnant. Ever since he left for college I’ve
been
I’ve been sort of expecting us to break up.”
“Why?” Andy frowns.
“That’s what happens, isn’t it? It’s what’s happened
to some of my friends, anyway. And Josh and I—we’re
from different worlds. He’s so clever. He’s going to be
great scientist,” tell him proudly, the words clogging my
throat. “Someone really important. couldn’t tie him down
like that—couldn’t let him throw away his dreams!”
shake my head. “I can’t let him do that.”
“So
what were you going to do?”
“I du
see …”
stare at my feet. “If we were go
anyway, there seemed no point in telling him.”
Andy sighs.
“And then we went to New York and he proposed
and everything was perfect.” smile miserably. “I almost
told him then—I should have—but thought no, no I’ll just
hold out another day, wait till we get home, a
engagement
it’ll be so perfect—” Tears gush through
my words. “But now it’ll never be perfect because can’t
tell him—I can’t tell him about Huntington’s because
we’re already engaged—he’s already trapped. He’d never
walk away from me now. And can’t tell him about our
baby, because might—because it might …”
Andy holds me tighter.
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“And don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
sniff. “I hardly even know you!”
“It’s okay,” he soothes. “I do think you should tell
your dad, though.”
“I can’t,” protest. “He’s too busy ru
after fricking Rosie And even if did, he’d think that was why we wanted to get married in the first place!”
“But if you talked to him,” Andy says gently. “If you
explained …”
“I can’t.”
shake my head firmly. “I can’t tell
anyone.”
look at him suddenly. “And neither can you,
Andy, swear it.”
“Holly …”
“Swear it,” demand. “Not even Rosie. Especially not Rosie.”
“Okay.” He holds his hands up. “I swear. won’t tell
anybody. Scout’s honor.”
look at him carefully, his clear eyes, his concern.
“Thank you,” say quietly.
“You’re welcome,” he says. “But
do think you
should talk to someone
professional.”
look at him. “A shrink?”