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breath. “I’m bit out of my depth here …”
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stare at her— she’s out of her depth?
“Give me movie director or big-shot producer and
I’m laughing.” She smiles. “I’ve been there, done that.
know how to paint on grin and turn on the charm. But
you
you’re my daughter.” She takes my hands shyly. “My
daughter,” she whispers. “You’re part of me—but more.
You’re your own person—your own beautiful person,
and”—her eyes swim with tears—“and don’t know you
at all.”
Her eyes search mine, sorrowful, anxious, and
something inside me flips over.
Kitty Clare, super-sophisticated movie star, is as
nervous as am.
“And I’m sorry,” she continues. “I’m so sorry for all
the years I’ve missed—for not knowing what to say or
how to act around you—for only having one day now and
making total mess of it …” She snatches ragged breath.
“And know it’s too late—too late for me to be mother to
you …” she trails off, her eyes shining. “But Rosie, I’d really like us to be friends.”
She clasps my hands tightly.
“Are you okay?” she asks gently, her eyes deep in
mine. “Has your life been okay?”
nod, my throat dry.
“And you and—and Jack,” she continues. “You get
on okay?”
“Yeah.” smile. “He’s great.”
“I’m so glad.” She beams. “I knew he’d be
good
father.”
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look at her then, realize.
“Kitty
Jack didn’t—he didn’t bring me up,” say.
“We only just met few days ago—I found him after met
you.”
“What?” She stares at me, stu
understand …”
“It’s—it’s what was trying to tell you in New York.
There was mix-up at the hospital …” look at her. “I was
swapped at birth.”
Kitty’s jaw drops.
“I only came to the States week ago to try to find
you—my real mother.”
She stares at me, white as
sheet, emotion
flickering over her features. “I can’t believe it
…” She
struggles for words. “That’s why your accent
your
hair
your name …” She looks at me, eyes wide. “I just
thought that Jack had changed your …” She shakes her
head incredulously. “Swapped?”
nod.
“So who
Jack has another daughter?” She frowns.
“I mean—”
“Yes, Holly. My mum’s— Trudie’s—real daughter. He
brought her up instead of me, while
grew up with
different family, in England.”
“Oh, Rosie—darling!” She holds me close, her heart
racing. “I
had no idea! And your
the people who
brought you up
they didn’t know?” She pulls back.
shake my head, look away.
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“I never knew my dad,”
say, my voice dry and
throaty. “He died just before was born.”
“Oh, Rosie!”
“But my mum—Trudie—” smile, warmth flooding
through me. “She was wonderful.”
Kitty smiles faintly. “Good,” she says softly. “I’m
really glad. She must be so proud.”
“I hope so.” smile tightly, swallowing hard. “She—
she died, just before Christmas.”
“Oh, God!” Kitty’s hand flies to her mouth. “What
happened, was she ill?”
“Yes.” nod. “She had Huntington’s disease.”
can see it doesn’t mean much to her, but now isn’t
the time to explain.
Kitty sighs, her eyes deep green pools. “What you
must have gone through
And all that time …” She shakes
her head. “You know, not day has gone by that haven’t
thought about you, wondered how you were, if you were
happy …”
pick at thread on the dress.
“You probably find that hard to believe.” She sighs.
“I wouldn’t blame you. God knows what people have told
you—what Jack’s told you—and
know it’s no
excuse
but was just
child myself when had you—
younger than you are now. And was so scared. hadn’t
the first idea what to do. tried to hide my pregnancy,
didn’t tell anyone, not even my mum—I was terrified.” She
bites her lip.
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“She was already worried about my future, thought
was stuffing up my GCSEs—she’d been on me like ton
of bricks all year. She’d even sent me to Gra
whole of the Easter holidays, thought banishing me to
desolate seaside town would convince me to knuckle
down and revise. But instead met Jack.” look up as she
smiles.
“With him
wasn’t
screw-up,
let-down. With
him could forget all my problems, be anyone liked …”
Her eyes dance wistfully. “And he was so sweet. He made
me laugh, made me feel special.”
She sighs. “Then it was back home to reality. knew
I’d failed my GCSEs as soon as took them—and now with
baby on the way …” Her face crumples like child’s and
suddenly see the seventeen-year-old in her, the terror,
the fragility. “My life was over. My parents were going to
kill me—I’d made such
mess.
was so scared
couldn’t tell them …” She chews
manicured nail
anxiously.
“Then, like
miracle,
got accepted into the
National Youth Theatre—and my parents were suddenly
so proud!” She shakes her head incredulously. “You
should’ve seen Mum—it was all she could talk about.”
smile, remembering the way Pam had glowed as
she spoke about Kitty and her glamorous career.
“So then
really couldn’t tell her!” Kitty’s voice
cracks. “So moved to London, where it was easier to just
not think about the baby, to throw myself into rehearsals,
performances, the show—then
got an agent and had
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more auditions, rehearsals, filming, performing
until
finally, at twenty weeks, couldn’t hide it anymore …” She
closes her eyes, her lip trembling.
“My agent was furious, said she’d had
complaint
from
casting director, that I’d been utterly
unprofessional by not telling her, that she couldn’t
represent me anymore. Then was totally screwed!” Kitty
laughs bitterly, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I had no
agent, no job, no money coming in, too late for an
abortion—not that would have—I couldn’t
couldn’t
go home, couldn’t tell my parents
Luckily they were still
paying my rent, so made excuses not to see them, got
job in
call center, worked all hours trying to save up
money for the baby—for you.” Her watery gaze meets
mine and my throat swells.
“Then around Christmas, realized
just couldn’t
cope anymore. My flatmates had left for the holidays—one
had even landed
TV job in L.A. was all by myself for
Christmas and New Year and it was utterly horrible
And
knew it would be even harder once had baby to look
after. So made
decision—a New Year’s resolution. It
was time to go home, finally face the music, tell my
parents—whatever the consequences.
couldn’t do this
alone.”
She swallows hard, her eyes frightened.
“But then—I don’t know if it was the stress, or the
train journey, or what—but my waters broke on the way
home!” she cries. “I panicked—it was too soon, wasn’t
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due yet! An ambulance took me to hospital, but
was
scared silly. didn’t know what to do, needed my Mum
“But then realized—if could just keep quiet for
few more hours
my parents needed never know
could put you up for adoption—that would be the best
thing all round. wasn’t fit to be mother, and you’d have
much better life, go to someone who really wanted