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Megan cuddles Ben close as they leave the room.

“It’s not like that!” Rosie’s voice is surprisingly

strong, her eyes shining. “It’s not like that—I didn’t even

know you existed—I thought you’d died!”

“Well, wouldn’t that have been convenient?” say,

sneering.

“I thought you were dead,” she repeats, “and when

found out you weren’t,

wanted to just walk away.

never wanted to hurt you—”

“Then why did you?” yell at her. “There are plenty

of planes leaving every day—you could have left any time!

Why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why? Because you’d found your dad, and that was

all that mattered to you? Screw everyone else—who cares

how many lives you ruin?”

“No!”

“Holly—” Dad takes my arm.

“Yes!” scream at her, shrugging him away. “Yes—

you’re selfish bitch!”

“No.” Rosie’s voice is quiet now, determined. Her

eyes meet mine. “You had to know.”

267

“Really?” My voice drips with sarcasm. “I just had to know that my dad’s not really my dad, that my whole life

is one big lie, except—oh, yeah—my mom’s still dead!”

glare at her. “I just couldn’t live without that knowledge

second longer, could I?”

“You had to know—”

“Rosie—” Dad warns.

“She has to know!” Her eyes are desperate, fraught.

“Know what?”

stare at him, icy dread trickling

slowly down my spine. “Dad? Know what?”

“Trudie died—” Rosie begins.

“Yeah, thanks, got that.”

“Of Huntington’s disease.” She looks at me, then

drops her eyes to the floor, screws them shut.

Dad sighs heavily.

“What?”

frown, staring at her, at Dad. Have

missed something? “Like

said, what difference does it

make?” look from one to the other insistently. “What the

hell is Hunting’s disease, anyway?”

“Huntington’s disease,” Rosie corrects me quietly,

her voice strained, her gaze glued to the floor. “It’s

terminal illness—a deterioration of the mind, the body …”

stare at her, mystified. So?

She looks at me, her eyes sad, regretful. “Holly, I’m

so sorry …”

don’t breathe. just watch her eyes well up with

pain and regret, my heart poised on knife edge.

“It’s hereditary.”

268

Rosie

My words slice through the room, sharp and swift

and brutal, leaving everyone deathly silent. Holly stares at

me numbly, but can’t meet her eyes.

“Holly—” Jack whispers. He takes her hand but she

doesn’t move.

stare at the floor, my cheeks burning. Now know

how Pandora felt.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay, it’s go

soothes, stroking her hand.

“How?” She looks at him with the same blank

expression. “It’s hereditary

I’m go

“No,” Jack tells her, his eyes intense, his voice

breaking. “No, you’re not—it’s not even definite you’ve

inherited it—it’s just chance.”

She stares at him. “What chance?”

Jack hesitates, swallows. “Fifty percent. Right,

Rosie?” He looks at me.

nod absently. feel Holly’s eyes on me but can’t

look.

“That’s all, just fifty percent—you’re just as likely

not to have it. Okay, Holly-berry?” he says, his voice

infused with determined hope, with fear. “Okay?”

269

squeeze my eyes shut tight, remembering those

same words being said to me, feeling Holly’s pain as the

realization sinks in. was wrong—it’s not always best to

know the truth. Ignorance is bliss, isn’t that what they

say? And I’ve just shattered her ignorance, her bliss, her

life, with this one foul sledgehammer of truth.

Holly’s right. am selfish. If only could have left

well alone, walked away

scrape my chair back, shattering the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

stand up, my face hot as





stumble

toward the door. “I’m so sorry. I’ll get out of your way,

I’ll—”

“Rosie …” Jack’s voice is gentle but still stings.

“I’m so sorry.”

flee quickly through the door,

ru

face.

She had to know, tell myself, blinking hard, trying

to block out the image of her face—blanched with shock,

staring wide-eyed as ripped her world apart. She had to

know …

Didn’t she?

270

Holly

watch Rosie leave, hammering down the steps like

thunder. Dad looks at me anxiously, his grip tight on my

hand, waiting for me to react. But can’t.

Everything feels unreal, somehow—like I’m

watching myself from

distance, like I’ve left my body.

Like I’m already dead.

Even the sharp buzz of my cell phone doesn’t make

me jump. stare at the illuminated screen.

Josh

God, Josh. My fiancé. The fiancé

was scared to

burden by telling him

was pregnant. Now I’ve got

terminal illness too.

stare at the phone as it shudders violently on the

table. Megan glances at Dad, then silently reaches over

and turns it off.

“Holly …,” Dad starts. “Holly-berry, talk to me …”

shake my head, tiny movement, all can manage.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll see …”

shake my head harder, cold sweat trickling down

my neck.

“It will, promise—you probably don’t even have

the disease—and even if you do—Holly!” lunge for the

271

sink, my knees buckling as heave my guts out over the

dirty dishes.

“Shhh,” Dad soothes, his arms around me as he

brushes my hair back from my face. “It’s all right, it’ll be

okay …”

“How …,”

whimper, wiping my wrist across my

mouth, my skin cold and clammy, my voice hoarse. “How

did this happen …?”

He sighs heavily. “I don’t know, sweetheart.” He

looks at me helplessly, his eyes the saddest I’ve ever seen

them. “I have no idea.”

272

Rosie

The raindrops blur into my tears as

stare out

blankly across the beach, at the wispy sea grass billowing

in the wind, the boats bobbing up and down on the

churning gray sea. wish could just get in one and sail

far, far away

“Rose? Rosie!” turn at the sound of Andy’s voice.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s raining!” He

hurries down the road toward me,

rucksack over each

shoulder. “Here, put this on.” He drops the bags onto the

sand and throws me

waterproof jacket. “Thought we

might need our stuff from the and B.” He grins. “As we’re

staying.”

close my eyes.

“So where’d you get to, early bird?” he asks. “I woke

up at the crack of dawn and you’d disappeared!”

“I’m sorry.” sigh, the words too familiar on my lips.

“Where were you?” he says. “I tried your phone …”

“I’m sorry, forgot it,” say, rubbing my face. “I was

with Jack, we went to the fish market.”

“Right.” He nods. “Well, next time leave

note or

something, will you? was worried.”

273

“I’m sorry!” turn on him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m

sorry— okay? Tears sting my eyes and look away, my

breath shuddering in my chest.

“Rosie …” He wraps his arm gently round my

shoulders. “Rosie, what’s the matter? What’s happened?”

look at him, wave of hopelessness crashing over

me. “Holly knows,” tell him miserably. “I told her about

Mum—about Huntington’s. Jack asked me not to—he