Reclaiming the Sand

I moved my hand and let him pull the paper towards him. He was silent while he read it but the smile on his face filled me with an immeasurable joy.

“You’re going to college,” he said, still not looking up.

“I’m going to college,” I repeated.

“To Maryland. That’s a long way away,” he murmured.

“Not if you go with me,” I said quietly, giving voice to my deepest hope. I didn’t want to take this step without him. I wasn’t sure I could do it if Fly

Fly

“I like hearing you talk, Ellie. But not now.” Fly

I opened my mouth to ask him what he was talking about. I had a sick sense of dread that he was throwing me out of his house. And his life.

And then what would I do?

Before I could say anything, Fly

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Fly

My mind was spi

What I hadn’t anticipated was to have my clothes ripped off by a frantic Fly

His violence shocked me but I didn’t have time to think about it because he was pulling my shirt over my head. His hands were everywhere. My body arched into him, craving what he was giving me.

“I love you, Fly

“I hear you,” Fly

He placed his lips on my temple, breathing me in. His hands were splayed along my back, his fingers holding me together. I shattered beneath him.

Our roles in each other’s lives had been to every extreme.

Bully and victim.

Friend.

Champion.

Lover.

When I had met Fly

I had never been a believer of fate. I was of the mindset that I was in charge of my destiny, however crappy it was. Not some faceless void that threw things in your way just to mess with you.

But staring up at Fly

I had been slowly dying for all these years and he brought me back to life.

He taught me that being Ellie McCallum was okay. Because she was flawed and troubled. But she was also smart and capable and worthy of love.

Fly

I felt his body let out a big sigh and my heart tripped over itself.

Some instinct made me nervous.

“Are you okay?” I asked, kissing the top of his head, breathing in his scent, something telling me that I should memorize him and this moment. So I would have it for later.

Fly

“I can’t go with you,” he said.

I tried to sit up and pull away but he was too heavy and kept me pi

“What are you saying?” I demanded. I had been feeling so peaceful, as if the pieces of my life were finally starting to fit together. Now I was in danger of losing it all before I even had it.

Fly

“You know I can’t. I live here. In Wellsburg. It’s too hard for me to leave. I would only make it harder for you. You would end up getting mad at me. You would wish I hadn’t come with you. I went to college, Ellie. Now it’s your turn.”

I shook my head. “No, Fly

Fly

“But I want you there!” I sobbed, feeling the weight of his refusal in the pit of my stomach.

“I’m going to stay here and be a teacher.” I stopped crying and blinked at him in shock. He had taken the job at the community college?

Fly

“I have to do this for me. You’re not the only one that needs to learn stuff. I’ll just learn my stuff here.” He said and I could here the resolution in his voice. There would be no changing his mind.

“You took the job?” I asked. As miserable as I was to hear that he wouldn’t be coming with me, I was happy to hear this.

Fly

Who was this rational guy?

“Don’t cry, Ellie!” Fly

But then I realized what he was trying to say. And even though I felt my heart splinter, I knew that he wasn’t trying to break it. He was setting me free. Just as Dania had done.

Though I didn’t want him to let me go.

Not ever.

“I can’t do this without you, Fly

Fly

“You can do this. And you will. I can’t go with you. I can’t leave Wellsburg. I have things to do here. This is my home. This is where I’m making my life. And it’s not your home anymore. You want to go away. You want to leave. And that makes me sad. But I’m happy too. Because you will be going to school and that’s something you want to do. And I’ll be here if you ever want to come back.”

“Can’t your home be with me?” I shook in his arms.

Fly

And a tiny part of me that wasn’t being drowned by my grief, understood what he was doing. I needed to have the opportunity to create a life of my own. Without baggage. Without people and circumstances tying me down.

What Fly

“Won’t you miss me?” I asked, sounding like a child. But I couldn’t help it. I knew that Fly

But maybe that wasn’t our fate.

Some people came into your life and they changed it completely and then they slipped out of it again before you could grab ahold of them.

And their presence motivates you and strengthens you and devastates you all at the same time.