Reclaiming the Sand

I didn’t want to answer the phone. I wanted to figure out what was going on between us. That was my priority.

But the incessant ringing was jarring.

“Answer it,” Fly

Not wanting to make the situation worse by refusing, I picked it up and looked down, surprised to see Reggie’s number flashing across the screen.

“Hello?” I said after answering.

“Oh thank god you answered!” Reggie let out in a rush.

“What is it, Reggie?” I asked, not bothering to hide my a

“Where are you?” she asked and I realized she sounded panicky.

“Um…in Virginia, remember?”

“Shit! Shit, goddamn it! You need to get back here now!”

I had never heard Reggie like this. Tiny pricks of unease filtered there way through the numbness.

“Just tell me what’s going on, Reggie,” I snapped.

“It’s Dania,” she said quietly.

My stomach dropped to the floor.

“What’s wrong with Dania?” I barked, fear setting in. We may have parted on bad terms, but Dania had been my best friend for ten years. And I cared about her. Whether I wanted to or not.

“She went into premature labor yesterday. She was with Stu, I guess and he brought her to the hospital. It was all good until she had the kid. And he wasn’t breathing. They had to do CPR or something. I don’t know, but it was bad.”

I ran my hand down my face in agitation. “Is the baby okay?” I asked, rubbing my temples.

“I don’t really know. After Dania had him, they took him away. And now they won’t let her see him. A bunch of people came in here today and spoke to her and now she’s freaking out. She keeps asking for you. She wouldn’t calm down and a nurse had to give her a tranquilizer to get her to stop yelling.”

Shit!

“It’s bad, Ells. Really, really bad. Stu says they won’t let her have her baby because of all the shit she did while she was pregnant. The drugs and the drinking. The kid was born with some sort of heart defect and can’t breathe on his own. That he was addicted to drugs or something. They aren’t sure he’ll pull through. And now these people won’t even let her go and see him. She’s losing it, Ells. You need to get back here now. She won’t see anyone but you.”

I looked over at Fly

Would the guilt ever end?

“I’ll get there as soon as I can. We’re almost six hours away. So it’ll be a while,” I said and I heard Reggie’s sigh of relief.

“Thank you! I just don’t know what to do. And Dania doesn’t even really like me. She won’t talk to Stu and he told her to fuck herself and left. Shane’s not answering his phone. So it’s just me here and you know I hate hospitals. I hate the smell and all the people ru

“Just go home, Reggie. I’ll be there soon enough and I’ll take care of Dania,” I assured her, knowing that’s what she wanted to hear.

“Good. Okay then. I’ll talk to you later.” And with that, she hung up.

I tried to collect myself. I felt as though I were left dangling in the wind. I had unloaded my huge confession on Fly

And before I was allowed to mourn the loss of it, I had gotten a phone call letting me know my best friend was falling apart. That she needed me.

“I have to go home,” I said, grabbing my suitcase and shoving my things inside.

“What about the hotel room?” he asked.

And then it was my turn to lose it. “I don’t care about the fucking hotel room! I need to get back to Wellsburg now! Dania needs me!”

I shoved the rest of my things in my suitcase.

“You’re upset,” Fly

It felt like another life.

“Yes, I’m upset, Fly

“Okay. We will go back,” Fly

The next twenty minutes was spent making sure Fly

We hadn’t spoken more than a dozen words between us. And this time the silence wasn’t comforting. It felt like the end.

Fly

-Ellie-

I fell asleep at some point during the journey back. I woke up to Fly

I sat up, startled. We were back in Wellsburg. It was morning already. The sun had come up and the town looked less depressing in the early light of day.

“I wasn’t sure where you wanted me to take you,” he said, sounding tired.

“Just take me home. I can get my car and head over to the hospital,” I said, rubbing my eyes and feeling my head start to pound from nerves and lack of sleep.

Fly

If I were in a better frame of mind I would have recognized his words for what they were. He was trying to make things right between us. He wanted to be there for me.

But my grief and guilt were destructive forces and I could only hear his dispassionate voice offering because he felt like he had to. Even though I should have known better. Fly

I was tired and stressed and not in the mood to navigate through the impenetrable waters of Fly

“Just take me home. I need to go by myself,” I said. Fly

I didn’t deserve that.

And it was best to do it alone.

“Bye, Ellie,” he said as I walked up the sidewalk toward my apartment building.

I didn’t acknowledge him.

I walked into my apartment feeling years older. I jumped into the shower, hoping it would wake me up. I needed to be alert in order to deal with what was waiting for me at the hospital.

I got changed and grabbed my car keys.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t see Fly