Страница 60 из 71
Fly
“I’ve never wanted to have sex before. I’ve never wanted to touch anyone. I want to touch you, Ellie. I want you to touch me. You just have to let me get used to this,” he said, fidgeting.
I laughed and Fly
“I’m fu
I covered my face with my hands and tried to get myself under control. Taking a deep breath, I shook my head.
“No, you’re perfect, Fly
How had I not seen that before?
Shit, here came the waterworks again! Enough already!
Tears were useless. They accomplished nothing.
But they continued to fall anyway.
But they weren’t the tears of the broken. These were the tears of someone being put back together.
Fly
“Crap,” I muttered under my breath as I took in the sight of his naked and very toned chest. I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and touched the skin of his abdomen. His muscles quivered beneath my fingers as I softly traced a line along the length of his stomach.
“That tickles,” he said, sounding strained.
I flattened my palm, feeling his warmth radiate up my arm.
“Are you going to take yours off?” Fly
“Would you like me to?” I asked coyly.
Fly
“I want you to,” Fly
Fly
He groaned deep and low in his throat and I felt the warmth build between my legs.
Knowing I shouldn’t push him, but unable to stand it a moment longer, I wiggled onto his lap and straddled him. Fly
“That feels really good,” he rasped. I gri
His lips found the space between my breasts and he kissed me lightly. I shivered at the feather light touch of his mouth. His tongue tentatively licked the skin and I started to squirm as he squeezed and kneaded my breast.
Slowly and with a growing confidence, Fly
Passion had opened me up to a side of Fly
He told me I was beautiful in short, broken sentences. He stirred up feelings that I would never be able to push away again.
After a time, Fly
We didn’t say a word. We were lost in the sensations of touching and tasting each other.
“Am I doing this right?” Fly
“Yes,” I moaned as he slowly pushed a finger inside me.
This went on for hours or it could have been only minutes. I had lost track of everything, even time, as Fly
Making love with Fly
It was his first time so it didn’t last that long. But in those few blissful moments, I felt closer to him than I had ever been with anyone else.
I had been right. What we shared was so much more than sex.
It was an intimacy that came from baring your heart to someone you knew would take care of it.
And he looked at me. Really looked at me. He didn’t hide his face. Our eyes co
It was love.
Pure and simple and completely complicated love.
The need to tell him burned my throat; my eyes glassing over with unshed tears as he pressed into me.
But I kept silent. Because words weren’t necessary. The truth was in the way we touched. The way we moved. The way our eyes never looked anywhere but at each other.
Speaking it out loud would only encumber the honesty that couldn’t be communicated with words.
“Fly
I loved him.
I did.
I had never loved anyone before but now I loved with my whole being.
It split me open.
My guts spilled out on the floor at Fly
He owned me. Completely.
There was no coming back from this.
Fly
-Fly
Many years ago…
I didn’t talk to Ellie anymore.
She was trying to say something to me in English class and I told her to shut up. Her hair was blue again.
I hated it.
I hated her.
She hurt me.
Her friends called me tard boy when I got to school this morning.
Ellie laughed too but then she said she was sorry to me later.
She always hurt me.
I was tired of feeling sad.
Mom said she wasn’t a real friend and this time I didn’t get mad.
Ellie wasn’t my friend.
She was mean.
I didn’t like mean people.
Why did my chest hurt?
“Please, just talk to me, Fly
I didn’t want to talk to Ellie.
But she was looking sad and I didn’t like her to be sad, like I was sad.
I had to go to the cafeteria and eat my lunch before Stu took it. I was hungry. Mom had packed me chicken salad. It was my favorite.
“I’m sorry! Can I come over?” she asked.
I liked her coming to my house. It made me happy. She wasn’t mean when she was at my house.
“There’s the freak! Freaky Fly
I got mad.
“You can’t come over! I hate you!” I yelled to Ellie and turned around and ran down the hallway.
I was sad when I went home. I didn’t eat any banana bread and Mom said she was worried about me.
I told her about Ellie and she got upset. She said she was going to call the school and make them do something.
I told her not to.
I didn’t want Ellie to get into trouble.
I told Ellie I hated her but I didn’t hate her.
She still made my stomach feel fu
She never laughed anymore.
Mom said she wanted to call the principal. That maybe he could help me. That he’d make sure Stu and Dania and Ellie couldn’t be mean to me anymore.