Animate Me

“No, you’re not, Brooke,” I insist, refusing to let her say that about herself.

“If I weren’t selfish, Nathan, I wouldn’t have dragged you into my mess.”

I realize in that moment that I believe in Brooke more than she believes in herself. I want to shake her and make her see that these feelings she has for me are all sign posts pointing to the road she should head down…the road that I’m waiting for her on. But she isn’t ready yet—I’m not so completely dense not to see this. I need to calm and placate her and try to buy more time.

“What do you want from me tonight, Brooke? Just tell me.”

She looks at me with a twisted expression somewhat like gratitude, mixed with discomfort.

“Arnauld told me that you’re taking Dani to the party tonight.”

“How the hell did he know that?”

“He has his ways. He seems to know quit a bit about you and Dani.”

“What does he say he knows? Nothing has happened between us. He’s just messing with you because he knows I care about you too much.”

Brooke suddenly looks very tired and defeated. Something’s really weighing on her and I wish she’d tell me what it is.

“Will you just really try to have a good time with Dani tonight? Focus on her. Give her all your attention.”

My heart drops but I’m not surprised. Perhaps she thinks it will solve something if Dani and I actually get together, but I know it won’t because it’s never going to happen. I decide to lighten things up because I sense she isn’t going to tell me anything more today and she looks so defeated. “But I’m going to still talk to you tonight.” I insist. “I want you to show me your new fancy yoga pants.”

She smiles and shakes her head. “Oh, Nathan…”

The only thing I know when we finally finish lunch and get up to leave, is that tonight is going to be a test of not just my acting abilities, but my self-restraint as well. When I see Brooke on Arnold’s arm, it’s going to take everything I have not to go mad.

• • •

“Who are you, and what’d you do with my Nathan?” Dani exclaims after she sees me at her door.

“Very fu

“No, that was enough,” she asserts, opening her door wider.

“What?” I ask, getting irritated with her gaping mouth.

“It is pretty amazing how much you’ve changed. I wasn’t kidding about barely recognizing you. You’re kind of hunky now.”

“Hunky?” That is a word I was certain would never, ever be attached to me. I don’t even know how to process that idea in my geek brain.

“Yeah, and where did you get that outfit? Cause I know for a fact that they don’t sell Cavalli at Target.”

“Brooke took me to that Fred Segal’s place today.” I state matter-of-factly.

“You were shopping at Fred-fucking-Segal’s?” she exclaims.

Clearly that has significant meaning to people of the fashion persuasion.

“Yup,” I admit.

“Damn,” she grumbles. “I wish Nick loved me the way you love Brooke. You’d do anything for that woman.”

I let out a long, sigh. “Yes, I would.”

Looking at her sad expression, and knowing what I know about Nick, I can’t help but encourage her.

“Don’t be so sure Nick doesn’t feel that way too, Dani. You just have to give him a chance to show you.”

When we walk into the Palace, for a moment I forget that I’m a geek. To an outsider it could almost look like I’m a hip guy out with a hot girl, the night lying before me ripe with the promise of plenty of booze and hot sex. But when I trip on the way in, I am reminded to both myself, and the entire nightclub crowd, who I really am. You can wrap a package any way you want, but that doesn’t change what’s inside.

I pause to gather myself before we move into the main room for the party. I can’t shake the weight of worry knowing what’s at stake tonight. Frankly it’s a relief that Dani is searching to spot Nick as hard as I am looking for Brooke. She finds him first, and grabs onto my arm. His angry eyes pierce through me as he watches us walk in. Since he and Dani started talking again he seems to have lost his tolerance for seeing us together. But Dani isn’t going to stop this game until she’s at least kicked a field goal.

“Come on, Nathan,” Dani says, pulling on my hand. “Let’s go get a drink.”

Most of the Beaver gang is here already, huddled around a table close to the bar. It’s weird to see everyone all dressed up and in a party mode. Despite his threats of wearing a dirty T-shirt, even Andy’s wearing a relatively unwrinkled button-down shirt with no stains. Although I’m pretty sure there will be stains by the end of the evening.

Joel seems particularly animated this evening. He’s brought an outside girl with him and he introduces her as his new girlfriend, Laura. Who knew? Joel is quite taken with this new girl who is Japanese with long black hair and a beautiful face. She seems to have a nice low-key demeanor, which is a good balance to his frenetic energy.

Laura tells Dani that she works at a doctor’s office and met Joel while taking his blood. He almost passed out and she had to tend to him.

“With extra-special care,” he explains, smiling as he wraps his arm around her waist. She smiles at him in response.

How romantic. Only Joel could hit on a girl while she’s draining him of his life force. But regardless, it’s rare we have non-toon people penetrate our covert little world so she adds some intrigue to the evening.

Despite my wandering eye, I still haven’t spotted Brooke and her absence unsettles me. Shouldn’t she be here already? Maybe Mojo has kidnapped her again and is sucking out her life force like he tried to do in Santa Barbara. Next time I see her she may be a zombie, devoid of any traces of the girl I fell in love with.

U

I have rejoined the group with Dani’s Diet Coke, trying to ignore Nick’s glare as I hand it to her. I don’t know why the ass doesn’t just make his move with the girl he obviously loves. But then I reprimand myself: Big talk from the pussy that can’t even come clean with Brooke. I look down at the ground and try to drum up a Wayne-ism to pull me out of this funk I’m spiraling into.

But when I lift my eyes Wayne is the furthest thing from my mind. Brooke steps into the room, and she’s a vision. Never mind the fact that she’s with the monkey, her beauty outshines everyone around her. She’s wearing some very fitted black jeans, almost as good as yoga pants. Her fancy purple velvet-looking top is lower cut than I’ve seen her wear before and the long sleeves sweep down dramatically. I also notice a necklace sparkling around her neck.

Her eyes scan the crowd and when she sees me standing next to Dani her eyes flicker, and she smiles sweetly. Just when I smile back, Arnold wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her aside. Mojo fury flares up inside of me for messing up my moment. If I were Marvin the Martian, I would’ve blasted him with my x-ray gun without a second thought, leaving Brooke with much less complications in her life, and Arnold, a little pile of cinders on the floor.

I try to refocus on our group’s conversation as I down my beer. Andy keeps cornering the people carrying around trays of tiny food, and before we know it, we’ve eaten the equivalent of a meal. I finish off a third beer a little too quickly as I watch Brooke and Arnold work through the room.

In my overwhelmed and beer-edged stupor I notice the music get louder, and I get nervous as I see Dani start to bounce to the beat. She had her hard limits with our arrangement. Well, mine is dancing. No, just no…it’s not going to happen.

Minutes later she shimmies up close to me.

“It’s time to boogie, Nathan,” she croons.

“I can’t dance Dani,” I insist.