More Than Her

"Also, Amanda Marquez?" She said her name like a question.

"Don't say her name again," I warned.

"Okay. Touchy asshole. No problem." Her hands went up in surrender. "So our Dad—"

"Your dad," I cut in.

"Fine, my dad—he went to LA, apparently to check up on me. But he was more excited to find out that my boyfriend was dealing drugs and that he could score off him. One thing led to another—it started with weed, then ecstasy, meth and then cocaine. It was like the most fucked up form of family reunion possible. For five months straight it was just..." her words trailed off. Then a single tear fell, "And then we had to pay for it all, and I mean—how could we? So my boyfriend decided to pay with me."

"And your dad let it happen?" I yelled. I couldn't help it. The nurse sat up straighter, "I'm sorry," I told her, and then repeated the question, quieter this time.

"Like I said, he's not good people."

My head fell back. I eyed the ceiling wondering how the fuck people get so unbelievably bad.

"Now they run some sort of drug ring," she continued. "Pauly from LA, Dad from here."

I shook my head.

"And me?" she said, her eyes falling to the bruises on her arm. "I have the same nightmare every night. Except it's not a nightmare. It's almost like a dream. It's too good that it hurts when I wake up. I dream every night of them. Of Mikayla's family. I can still hear Emily's laugh. And I shouldn't be allowed to. I shouldn't be able to feel the joy that that one sound can bring. I shouldn't be able to close my eyes and see them. I don't deserve to."

***

"Watch it, asshole," some dick in front of me said. Valid. I'd just walked out the visiting room doors when and wasn't looking where I was going, I would have run into him if he didn't say anything.

"Sorry, man."

"Yeah." He tried to square his shoulders, "You better be."

I took him in. He had the same lifelessness that Megan had. His hair was thin, almost like it was going to fall off at any time. He had those same fucked up blood spots on his face. You could tell he made an effort to dress up, his suit hung off his body and was sizes too big. He had flowers in his hand that were clearly picked from the bushes just outside. I don't know how old he was. He could've been forty—or he could've been twenty.

"Chill out," I said calmly, opening the door for him. I watched as he walked in and started for Megan's table. She looked up at him. She didn't flinch. She didn't gasp. Her breathing didn't even hitch. But I saw it in her eyes. She was scared. Scared of monsters.

Logan: I need your help

Dad: Anything.

***

"I wonder what fucked up things Dylan and Cam are going to do to your car," Jake said through a laugh. He turned his head to glance at me from the drivers seat.

"I know. Those assholes. We should do something to D's."

We were driving back home. Amanda had fallen asleep in the back seat with me, but she was starting to stir.

"Like what?" Micky asked.

Amanda sat up. "What are we talking about?" Her voice was scratchy from sleep.

"Fucking with Dylan's car," I replied.

She turned her head to face me, her eyes squinting, trying to focus. She bit her lip, looking me up and down.

"What's with you?" I laughed out.

She leaned into me and rested her hand on my dick, rubbing it softly. "I'm so fucking horny right now," she whispered.

My dick twitched.

She kissed my neck, and then bit my earlobe. "I can't wait to get you home and fuck you."

I groaned. My dick got harder.

I pulled her into me and kissed her. Hard.

She palmed my dick through my jeans.

"You got any ideas?" Jake asked.

Fucking cock-blocking Jake Andrews.

Amanda laughed and pulled away. "We can get soda and pour it on the car, get it really sticky, and then cover it with bird feed. A few hours from now it'll be covered in bird shit."

Jake threw his head back in laughter. "You guys are fucking perfect for each other."

I watched her face as a grin overtook her features. "Yeah," she said, her legs coming up on my lap. "We kind of are."

THIRTY SIX

Logan

The day after we visited Megan at Dalton, my dad called. He said that he made a few phone calls and was able to get her transferred to facility in Washington. Far away from any monsters that might chase her. He didn't tell me how he did it or where the money came from to do it and I didn't ask. I knew that if I did, he'd lie.

Apparently Micky called her the next morning to check on her. She said she was fine, but didn't want either of us calling her until she was clean or on her way to recovery. She said she was happy to email and write, but everything gets checked and filtered so it might be a while until we heard from her. That was almost a month ago.

I was still processing everything.

You'd think that finding out you had a sister, and your sister turning out to be who she was, would turn your world upside down. But it didn't. Not for me. Maybe because a part of me had so much to look forward to in the future, that I really didn't give two shits about my past.

Maybe it was because I had Amanda.

"Amanda," I said. "I'm thinking about maybe buying you a car."

I was sitting on the floor, on the edge of the bed, playing on the Xbox. She was lying on the bed, reading a book, her hand played with my hair. "I'm thinking of punching you in the junk," she said flatly.

I laughed. "So that's a no then?"

"That's a fuck no, and don't bring it up again."

"Fine, " I sighed. "What if it doesn't cost me anything?"

"You into grand theft auto?"

"No, what if I trade my car in and get two?" I threw the controller on the floor and faced her. I'd been thinking about it for a while. At first I wanted to just buy her a car, but I knew she wouldn't take it. So I asked Ethan to help me out and lie, say that he bought it for her. He said he couldn't lie to her, that she had some crazy twin sixth sense and knew whenever he was bullshitting. He couldn't even sneak food into the house without her knowing. I continued trying to convince her. "I mean, what kind of twenty year old college student needs a Mercedes? I could get a truck, it'll be bigger, and we can fool around in there more." I sat up straighter and held her face in my hands, she bit her lip, refusing to look at me. "You can get whatever you like, something small. Whatever you want. I already asked my dad, he said it would be fine."

She looked at me then, her eyes shining with tears, she swallowed loudly. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept talking. "Um, Cameron, his mom's boyfriend owns a dealership. I called him the other day, he said he'd work out a great deal for us."

Tears fell then.

"Baby, don't cry."

She didn't respond, just leaned in and kissed me.

And that's what we did, for I don't know how long, just kissed. With our hands on each other’s faces and the taste of her tears on our lips, we kissed. "I need you to make love to me now," she whispered.

So I did.