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Still alive?
I laughed under my breath and texted back.
So far.
Good. Take notes!!! & come over after. We can detox you! :p
“So. Having fun?”
I tucked the phone away as Sha
“Couldn’t you get excommunicated for talking to me?” I said, feeling grateful nonetheless. She was the first person who’d spoken to me all night. I took a sip of my drink. It tasted like the apples had already turned. Weird. Mrs. Appleby was nothing if not a perfectionist.
“Yes, but I have my excuses all lined up,” she replied, talking out of the side of her mouth. “First, it’s the holidays, and talking to you is a form of charity.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said.
“And second, I’m drunk,” Sha
My lips pursed. “Is that what I taste? Did you spike this?”
Sha
I bit my tongue to keep from rattling off the ten things wrong with her logic, not wanting to browbeat the one person who had acknowledged my existence. Other than Jake and his nod.
“You should have some. Drown your sorrows,” she said.
“What sorrows?” I asked.
She took a deep breath and turned toward me, resting her shoulder against the shelves now. “You know, it’s the holidays . . . your dad is MIA. . . .”
My throat completely closed off.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, sometimes I wish my father would disappear,” she joked. “But do you ever wonder where he is . . . where he’s living . . . whether he’s working?”
“Of course I do,” I said, telling myself she was just making conversation. That she wasn’t trying to be mean. She couldn’t know what it actually felt like, the not knowing. How whenever someone brought it up, it was like they’d attached a vacuum hose to my heart and hit the “maximum suckage” button.
“Did your dad ever work in a service job? Like as a waiter or anything?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“What? I don’t know. Why?” I asked, my pulse racing.
She shrugged and turned to face the room again. “No reason. I just sometimes wonder where a person like that ends up.”
I took a shaky breath and sipped my cider, then spit it back into the cup when I remembered there was alcohol in it. What the hell was this line of questioning about? I felt an intense need to change the subject but couldn’t think of a single thing to talk about, what with all the emotional trauma. My gaze immediately traveled to Jake, the one remotely friendly face in the room.
“So, what do you think of our Jake?” Sha
I started. The girl was seriously fraying my nerves. “Why? Did he say something about me?”
Sha
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Faith slipping through the side door that led to the conservatory. I took it as a good excuse to bail.
“I’ll be right back,” I told Sha
I set my drink on the bookshelf and took off after Faith, knowing Sha
“Faith,” I whispered.
Her hand flew to her throat. When she saw it was me she grimaced. “God! You scared the hell out of me,” she said in full voice. Then she looked me up and down. “Where’d you get that outfit? Walmart?”
I chose to let the comment roll off my back. “Can we talk?”
Faith crossed her arms over her chest. Her long blond hair was back in a sleek ponytail, and she wore a pink party dress with cap sleeves and a black sash around the waist.
“Why? So you can call me a bitch again?” she asked.
“No. I’m sorry about that,” I said. I ran my fingertip along the music stand where Chloe used to practice her flute. “I just . . . you’re so different,” I said, trying to sound diplomatic. “I guess I was just shocked.”
“Different how?” she asked, her eyes like slits. “Oh, you mean because I have a life? Because I’m not just following you around like some puppy dog?”
I blinked in surprise. “You never followed me around like a puppy dog.”
“Whatever. You loved the fact that you were more popular than me. That you got to bring me along to parties I wasn’t exactly invited to, like I was some orphan you were helping out. That you and Chloe and Sha
I swallowed hard. “I don’t understand why you have to be so mean,” I said. “I thought we were friends.”
She pulled her head back, and for a second, I saw her. The old Faith. My friend who was sweet and kind and cared about other people’s feelings.
“Yeah, well, friends don’t just disappear in the middle of the night and never call,” she said. “Friends don’t desert each other.”
“But it wasn’t my fault. And I’m sorry I didn’t call. I—”
Faith took a step toward me. “It doesn’t matter. Your father stole from us. He broke up my family.”
“Wait, what? Your parents are—”
“Getting divorced? Yeah. Thanks to you,” Faith spat. “That’s what happens when your dad loses all my dad’s money. But instead of blaming your father, my mother blamed mine, so here we are. One more statistic. Do you know what it’s like having to explain to my brothers why my dad’s moving out? To listen to my mom crying in the middle of the night? I wish you’d never existed. You and your entire family. I wish you’d never come back here.”
My hands shook. Okay. Apparently coming in here after her was a bad idea. I had no idea her parents were splitting up. Here I’d thought I’d be able to make up for everything with a simple apology, but I’d had no clue how much she’d been hurting. “I’m . . . I’m sorry. I—”
“What’s going on in here?”
We both turned around to find Chloe and her mother framed in the doorway. Chloe wore a dark green velvet dress and pearls, while her mother looked very First Lady in a crisp white blouse with puffed sleeves and a slim black skirt.
“Allyson. How nice to see you,” she greeted me politely. “Faith. You both know, however, that we aren’t allowed in the conservatory unattended.”
I glanced at Faith, and for a split second she forgot to be a bitch and started to smile. We’d never been allowed anywhere in this house unattended, but that’s what we always were. It was a long-standing joke. But just as quickly as it had come, the smile was gone.
“Sorry, Mrs. Appleby,” Faith said, tucking her phone away. She slipped past Chloe and her mom back into the library.
“Allyson?” Mrs. Appleby said.
I ducked my head and followed Faith. Chloe didn’t bother to move out of my way, so her mother had to turn sideways for me to get by. Unbelievable. No matter how hard I tried with these people, they were never going to give me an inch.
jake
“Dude, Ally Ryan looks hot again tonight,” Trevor said as we walked into the dining room. There was one huge table ru
“Yeah, too bad I never got a chance to tap that,” Todd added.
They laughed and slapped hands. I swallowed my disgust.
“Don’t be a jackass,” Hammond said, buttoning his jacket as he came up behind us.