Weak Without Him

"What the fuck was that?"

I looked over at him.

"I'm not sure if you've realize who the fuck I am or what the fuck it is I do for a living, but if you're going to be in my life, you'll need to figure it out quickly."

I wanted to yell at him. Tell him how ridiculous he was being, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"You don't want me touching you in public?"

"Glad we're on the same page."

"Wait just one damn second. What am I to you, Fi

"You're my best kept secret. So let's keep it that way."

Five

His words caught me off guard. Secret? I was nothing more than a fucking secret. Moments like these made me want to slap those beautiful features from his face. Anger boiled inside me, as it flared inside him, and together we were a hurricane of fuming emotions.

If we were to be a couple—wait, were we to be a couple? Or was I just a good fuck that now lived with him? Actually, I didn't know what he even thought or felt for me. I lived in some fucked-up fairy tale and thought everything would be perfect since Prince Charming took my virginity. I was mistaken.

When we arrived back at his house, I stormed inside and snatched the keys to the Honda from the counter.

"Where do you think you're fucking going?"

"Away."

I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. Not wanting to peer into his eyes, but doing it anyway, caused his features to soften.

"You can't go," he said.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want. You don't own me. All of this has been my choice and having that right doesn’t change now. My parents are dead, and I don't need new ones. Agreeing to move in with you was a lapse of fucking judgment, and I've changed my mind. I don’t want to be your secret little fuck. I won't."

He actually laughed, sarcastically, but it was still a laugh.

"Hold on. You've always done exactly as I've asked, so don't get pissy and act like you're ru

I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me.

"The Elite is a part of me, and if you want to be the other part, you can't act that way. I will not choose between the two. I'm not keeping you here. I'm not forcing you to stay, but once you walk out that door, don't fucking come back."

Was that it? After one of the most sexually charged days of my life, would this be how it would end? I stood there and contemplated my next move. Evening was upon us and finding an apartment before dark would be impossible. I would rent a hotel room and search tomorrow. But did I really want to leave? Did I want to walk away from everything that Fi

"I occasionally hand-pick my Girls. If I see something in a person that others would enjoy, I will slip her a business card. Yes, I'm aware that women want to fuck me, and that I can act a certain way and make them do whatever I please. But I didn't want to fuck her, regardless of what you think."

He opened the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of water, and walked to the living room. I stood there, silently, trying to decide whether to stay or leave. While contemplating what the fuck I was doing, I smoothed the sweater dress on my legs. There was only one answer, and we both knew what it was.

"I won't be moving in, Mr. Felton. I'm sorry," I said, and closed my fist around the keys then softly closed the door leading to the garage. My heart raced, and I didn't know if I would really be able to walk away from him, but somehow I did. As I sat in the Honda, I thought about going back to him, but instead I reversed out of the garage and drove myself to the Bellagio.

Fu

The same woman that checked me in a few months ago happily handed me a key to a room. I robotically wheeled the suitcase to the elevator. My mind spun, and I didn't know when it would stop. I tried to think back and replay exactly what had happened and where our day made a wrong turn. Did I overreact a little? Maybe.

Fi

It would be easy to do whatever Fi

Leaving was my decision, one that I made on my own.

Hopefully Fi

Yesterday seemed like a crazy dream, and I halfway expected to wake up at the house with the Girls, back in my bed, which I had become so accustomed to falling asleep in. A part of me wanted to warp back to a time when relationship complications didn't exist, where the hardest part of the day consisted of picking which shoes to wear, or Elite training.

After I dressed in a plain shirt, blue jeans, and flats, I grabbed my phone and searched online for apartments. I would need to find a place before the end of the day, but every picture I looked at was unimpressive. I wouldn't settle. The next place I moved to would need to be nearly perfect and close to downtown. If I were to stay in Vegas, it would have to be worth my while.

The money from selling my parents’ house stayed untouched in my bank account. Money wasn't an issue and leaving wasn't an option. A part of the city reeled me in, hook, line and sinker style, and I pla

When I opened the door to leave, I saw the back of someone I didn't expect to see. He turned around, and his crystal blue eyes stared into mine. My breath caught, and I couldn't speak.

"Hi," Luke said.

"Hi."

We stood staring at one another.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Hmm. You left Texas and came straight to the Bellagio. You left The Elite, so this seemed like the only logical place you'd be. I called the hotel, and they gave me your room number. You aren't very hard to track down."

I smiled because he was right, and he returned the gesture.

"Do you want to grab a coffee? I'd like to talk."

Awkwardness lingered.

It was now or never, I supposed, so I agreed to have coffee. Coffee was i

"Yeah. Sure. I'd like that."

I slid the hotel key into my back pocket and followed him down the stairs. As many nights as I had stayed at the Bellagio, I'd never used them. I was only on the fourth floor, so it was no big deal. I needed to calm the fuck down, but I couldn't. A wave of guilt swept over me.