That Wedding

I know he said good. He may have even said really good, but what I keep seeing is that shocked look on his face. Why is Phillip shocked? He hired me, wanted me to do this, and now he's shocked?

WTF????!!!!!

He shouldn't be shocked. If he hired me because he thought I could do it, he would expect them to be good.

And then it hits me. Why he really hired me.

"OH MY GOSH, PHILLIP! I was a pity hire?!! You didn't think I was talented, you just hired me so I would move to Kansas City with you????!!!"

I can't tell you how pissed I am.

No, scratch that. I'm not pissed.

I'm really hurt.

I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me.

"What? No, I just....."

"Why are you acting shocked that they're good then? If you hired me for real, you'd expect them to be good."

"I did expect them to be good, but..."

No way. I saw the look on his face. I saw his shocked expression. I know exactly what he was thinking.

"Never mind, Phillip. I don't wa

"Hire someone else, why would we do that?"

"Because I'll be damned if I'll be your pity hire. Some stupid family member you carry along in the business because you don't think they can make it on their own. Well, fuck that. I quit."

I grab my purse, march out the office, and to my car.

I put the key in the ignition and realize I should probably call Phillip's dad. Regardless of why they hired me, yelling, Fuck that, I quit, is not very professional.

"JJ," he answers. "How's it going?"

"Um, not great. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the opportunity, but I'm afraid I have to quit. Well, I just quit."

"You quit? Why?"

"No offense, but I want to work someplace where people believe I'm talented and creative, not because I'm marrying the boss's son."

"Are you in your office? I'd like to talk to you about this in person."

"I'm in my car. I told Phillip I quit and was getting ready to leave, but I thought I should tell you first."

"I'm not letting you quit until we talk in person. Come to my office and bring what you've worked on so far."

"I don't want Phillip in the meeting."

"Fine," he says and hangs up.

Shit.

Okay, so I'll go back in there, take him my drawings, and officially quit.

My phone buzzes.

It's Phillip.

The only reason I answer is because I'm on my way back in there. "Hey," I say coldly.

"Hey," he says back.

"What did you want?"

"What do I want?"

"Yeah, why did you call me?"

"Because you just QUIT on me?!!"

"Yes, Phillip, I quit, and I'm on my way back to your office to get my drawings, so I can give them to your dad. Then you can all move on and hire someone who has talent."

"Jadyn, you have talent."

"I know that I do, but you don't!" I say as I walk in the office, grab my papers out of his hands, and leave.

He follows me down the hall.

"You need to stop and listen to me."

"No, thanks. I've heard enough." I try not to, but when I look at Phillip, I get tears in my eyes because, honestly, what Phillip did hurt.

I was willing to overlook all the warning signs. I was willing to believe it was just cold feet, that it didn't mean anything, but this, I can't overlook. I totally anticipated, foresaw, and predicted the BOOM, but I didn't really expect it to happen so soon.

Or in this way.

I walk into his dad's office and shut the door in Phillip's face.

Of course, he's stubborn, opens the door, and walks in like he owns the freaking place.

"Phillip," his dad says, "I would like to speak with JJ privately."

"Daddd," Phillip says with pleading in his voice, kinda like he used to when he was younger and wanted to do something that his dad didn't think was a good idea.

"I'll come talk to you when JJ and I are through," he replies in the tone dads get when you better not argue.

Phillip looks at me. He looks mad at me.

My eyes are kinda full of tears. I swallow, put on my game face, and turn to face Mr. Mac.

Mr. Mac says to me gently, "So why do you want to quit? Did you and Phillip have a fight?"

"No, sir. I quit because I was hired under false pretenses."

"How so?"

"Well, I believe I was only hired because of Phillip, not because of my skills, my talent."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because I just showed Phillip a few of the ideas, and he was surprised they were good."

"And it upset you that he thought they were good?"

"No, I'm upset that he was surprised they're good. If you would have hired someone else, you would've looked at their portfolio, known what they were capable of, and would've been upset if their work wasn't good. I don't want a job like this. I know I haven't been working all that long, but at the job I left, at least I felt valued. I can't work like this."

And quite honestly, I'm pretty sure it's a deal breaker for the whole relationship.

But I don't say that. A few tears leak out of the corner of my eyes, but I quickly brush them away.

He gets a resigned look on his face and gets up. "Well, I disagree with you. You're right, Phillip is one of the reasons we hired you, but not the only reason."

He grabs a bunch of rolled up plans that were standing in the corner next to his credenza, takes them to his conference table, and unrolls them. "Come look at these. I've built this business from the ground floor up. It's been my dream to have a facility that's exactly how I want it."

I flip through them quickly and see that none of these plans look like Mr. Mac. I don't know if that makes sense because how could a building look like a person? But I suppose it's kinda like when you walk into someone's house, how they have it decorated, the colors that they've chosen, look like them.

Mr. Mac is sort of a style contradiction. He loves rich classic things. A bottle of good wine. A nice cigar. You could picture him sitting in an old library, surrounded by rich dark colors and lots of leather bound books. But at the same time, he's still young (I mean, for an old guy) and kinda hip. His clothes are expensive, but they always have a flair to them. He drives a luxury brand, but the model is a sleek black sports car.

I look at the drawings other people have done and can see why he hasn't built any of these buildings. They just aren't him.

"It looks like you spent a lot of money on plans. Why haven't you used any of these?"

"Why do you think?"

"Because they all suck," I say a little too bluntly.

"Exactly. That's one thing I love about you, JJ. You're just like your dad was. You always cut to the chase and tell us exactly what you're thinking. So why do you think they all suck?"

"Well, I probably shouldn't have said that. It's not really that they suck, they just, they don't look like you, like something you would like."

"And that's exactly why I haven't. I don't like any of them. It's frustrating to me because I have a vision of how I want it to be, but I can't explain it, evidently, because none of these are it."

"I can see that, like this one is way too modern for you. And this one they went the totally opposite direction and made it like too boring and stuffy."