That Wedding

He kisses further down my stomach, and I think he's going to really make me crazy by going down a bit further. Instead, he moves back up to my mouth and kisses me deeply.

"You're being a tease," I tell him.

"Oh, I haven't even begun to tease you, Princess. How much more can you take?"

I try to steady my breathing. My friends used to tease me that all I ever looked for in a guy were muscles and a pretty face. That I should look at his personality, his mind. I joked back that there was nothing wrong with wanting my happily ever after wrapped in a really hot package. And if Phillip is my happily ever after, then I got my wish.

I'm so not settling.

My eyes can't help but take in every curve of every muscle. The rock solid hardness of his biceps. His lean stomach. The abs. Oh, how I love Phillip's abs. Even though my arms are still pi

Shit. I can resist him

I resisted him my whole life, surely, I can resist him this once, just to make a point.

"I can resist you. I resisted you for years," I tell him

Of course, he was always clothed when I resisted him.

He pushes all his hardness against me.

"That's not really fair," I murmur. "It's not fair that you're naked."

He kisses me again. "Wow. You can resist. Guess I'll just go watch some TV, and we'll call off the wedding." He moves his body a fraction of an inch, like he's getting ready to get off me.

I can't let him go, so I say, "No, you're not," and pull him into me.

After a very thorough convincing, I know for certain we're not settling.

But there's more.

"Phillip, you know that we're solving our conflicts with sex, right? You know our relationship is probably already infected."

Phillip brushes a stray strand of hair off my face. "Princess, I think we solved the conflict, and then we had sex."

"I don't really even remember what the conflict was."

We both start laughing.

Phillip says, "Then we don't have to worry about it festering and growing. We're all good."

"So what about the feet? Aren't you a little scared about getting married? About making a lifelong, death do you part, commitment?

His brown eyes look at me softly. His mouth turns up into a grin, like he just thought of something happy. "Feel my feet," he says.

I move my cold feet against his always warm ones. I don't know how he's always so warm, but it's one of the many things I adore about him.

"Do my feet feel cold?"

I laugh. "No, they're never cold."

"And yours always are. That's why we're perfect for each other. Mine are always hot. Yours are always cold. You cool mine down. I warm yours up. Together they make the perfect temperature."

"So I actually do something that helps you?"

"You make me a better man, Princess. That's why I wa

"Really?"

He pulls me in close and kisses me. "Really."

I'm at work, and I'm feeling uninspired in the new year. We had a really fun Jersey Shore themed New Year's Eve couple's shower. Everyone took it as an excuse to dress slutty, drink too much, and fist pump. I'm praying the horrible orange spray on tans everyone got will be worn off by the wedding!

In Joey's brilliance, he decided rather than make everyone buy us a "stupid" shower gift, they should bring us something practical.

And what's more practical than alcohol?

Now we have a fully stocked bar, and numerous people who have invited themselves to come "break in" our new house. Phillip acted just like a bride usually does at her showers. He was oohing and aahing over every bottle of alcohol. He almost got tears in his eyes when Blake and Logan presented him with an "amazing" and expensive bottle of tequila.

I didn't really drink much at the party. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I used to be able to party and have fun.

I think it might have something to do with my quickly approaching wedding. I also think it might have something to do with the fact that one thought keeps going through my mind. Over and over.

No matter how right things feel with Phillip, God is never wrong.

I can't seem to shake the feeling of bursting into flames. Every time I close my eyes, I can feel the fire engulfing my body. I know God was burning me for saying Phillip and I are perfect for each other.

Why would he do that?

And even worse, Phillip and I have another counseling session tonight. Our schedule got mixed up because of the holidays, and we haven't been there for three weeks. Part of me wishes I could talk about it, but I don't dare. Pastor would probably have me committed, and Phillip would probably think I'm nuts and decide not to marry me.

I look down at the crap I've been drawing, wad the paper into a ball, and toss it into the trash.

Maybe I just need to get out of here. Maybe I need to be in a different environment to feel inspired.

I tell Phillip I'm go

But as I'm driving, I'm thinking I'm maybe looking for inspiration that's more divine.

I think about who of my friends is the most religious.

No, that's not right.

Who of my friends is the most openminded religiously? And more importantly, who will not laugh in my face when I say God may have set me on fire?

That'd have to be Nick. So I text him.

Me:  What's up?

Nickaloser:  Just finished unpacking from the bowl game. Thinking about getting drunk.

Me:  What happened to the whole

my body is a temple

and all that shit?

Nickaloser:  Kickers aren't really football players, remember? And now that the season is over, I can have some fun. And I fully intend to.

Me:  You know I was just teasing about that.

Nickaloser:  Yeah, I know. So what's up?

Me:  I'm on my way to Lincoln. Wa

Nickaloser:  Hell yeah!! Is Mac with you?

Me:  He's not. I'm going to the museum. Come with me?

Nickaloser:  That doesn't sound fun.

Me:  Please!! I need to talk about some stuff, and you're my most openminded friend.

Nickaloser:  I find I'm at my most openminded after a few shots. Meet me at the bar.

Me:  Fine. Keggers? Are you going alone?

Nickaloser:  No. I'm not a loser.

Me:  You're in my phone as Nickaloser :)

Nickaloser:  True. But I'm not a loner. Moose and Chaz are meeting me.

Me:  Are they religious?

Nickaloser:  Are you possessed? Do you need an exorcism?

Me:  I don't think so.

Nickaloser:  Then they will be fine. You freaking about Phillip?

Me:  Uh.....

Nickaloser:  Fine. Museum, first. Bar, second.

Me:  Thank you!!!! 20 minutes?

Nickaloser:  Sure.

I walk up to the museum and see Nick standing outside waiting for me. I adore Nick and even though I love to tease him, he's no loser. He's adorable. Actually, don't laugh, but when he kicks off the football, I don't know, but the way he sorta skips and then like, boom, kicks the ball, is extremely sexy.