That Wedding

"Wipe that smirk off your face," she tells me.

"So pregnancy makes you horny?"

She looks at the door and makes sure the boys are gone. "Ohmigawd, Jade, yes. Here, read this."

I read a passage about increased blood flow to certain lady parts and think that's something I really did not need to know.

Pregnancy would freak me the hell out. I'm just saying.

When I set the book back down, she continues. "Seriously, sex with Da

"Lori, you need to be thinking about you and the baby and taking it easy, relaxing."

"All I've been doing is thinking about the baby. I wa

I lay on the bed next to her. "He did. I don't think he was serious though. Did Da

"Oh, Jade. You would've gotten to pass your candle!"

"I know. I'm kinda bummed by that. He also said something that's been bugging me. Do you think I'm settling by marrying Phillip?"

"Are you nuts? Phillip is fine. He's hot, he's sweet, and he adores you. Why would you ever say that?"

"Jason said it. I just, I don't know. Couple's counseling is not going well, Lori. I'm pretty sure we're failing."

"You're not failing. No one fails."

I grab her hand and try to change the subject by saying, "I hope not. I'm so happy the baby is okay."

"Me too. So, I know you. You have to have some gossip or some fu

"I have some kind of baddish news."

"Do I want to hear baddish news right now?"

"It's more baddish gossip. You know how Katie and Eric haven't like been doing that great, like in their marriage, right?"

"Yeah, I did hear that."

"Well did you hear that she's been talking to and going to lunch with Neil?"

"I didn't hear that! What's that all about?"

"I don't know. I don't think they know for sure, but it sounds like she's considering getting a divorce and dating Neil."

"Scandalous," she giggles. "Seriously though, it's really sad. It would suck to go through a divorce."

"You're lucky. You and Da

"He cried today, about the baby. I've never seen Da

"He's worried about being a good dad, but he really loves you, and he really loves the baby."

"Yeah, I know. I'm incredibly lucky. We decided that we really can't understand what each other is going though and to just focus on the baby."

"Good. You know Da

"That's one of the reasons I wanted to marry him so bad. He's so much fun, so full of life and love. And speaking of that, when are you two go

"Not for a very long time."

"You're going to be amazing parents too. And Da

"Really? You have no idea what that means to me. You know, because it's just me." Tears start leaking out of my eyes again. What is wrong with me? Why can't I push the tears back anymore?

Lori grabs my hand quick and puts my palm across her belly. "Feel that?"

"Oh my God! The baby kicks hard! Lori, that's so freaking weird! Does it feel like that all the time?"

"It is kicking a lot now. I was telling Nick about it, and he keeps teasing Da

"Nick's a loser. He was so fu

"He only dances when he's drunk!"

Then I tell her about the spider from hell, Wayne's reaction and rescue, and Phillip strolling in for sex. And I maybe confide a little about how freaking amazing sex with Phillip is.

"I remember the first time you introduced me to Phillip. I think it's fu

"Well, that's cuz you never seemed like you wanted to have any fun."

"And it seemed like all you wanted to do was have fun. Do you remember when I asked you to introduce me to Phillip? We all thought he was so cute, but I'd never met him before."

"I don't remember that."

"We were dressed as slutty secretaries, and the guys were all in suits. Phillip looked good."

"Phillip always looks handsome in a suit."

"You were like, Come on, I'll introduce you. He's my best friend and my roommate. I'll never forget it. He and Blake were literally surrounded by girls. You sauntered over, walked through the girls. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the cheek. The girls all gave you the dirtiest looks." She laughs. "Then you told him his tie was all fucked up."

"Oh, I do remember that. Phillip could never tie a tie. I always did it for him. And they were probably surrounding Blake. You know that's how he got his nickname, right? His Royal Hotness? Blakeness?"

She laughs. "I didn't know that. That's fu

"You were always too smart for your own good."

"You introduced us then totally checked him out. Like stood back, looked him up and down. You told him he looked too uptight, stole his tie, and put it on you. He grabbed the end of the tie and pulled you in close to him. I really thought he was going to kiss you. Instead, he whispered in your ear. I always wondered what he said."

I laugh. "He told me I could tie him up later at home, and that my skirt was so short it was almost a crime."

"He always flirt with you like that?"

"I always kinda thought he was just playing around, but yeah, he did."

"Then we got drunk together."

"I didn't get drunk. You did though. I think I created a monster."

"You did teach me how to party."

"I think you always knew how to party. You were just afraid to let loose."

"That's true. We had a lot of fun. You wa

"Sure."

"You kinda had a reputation as a party girl. And you knew so many guys. I thought you were slutty. I was surprised once I got to know you how good you were. Like you made out with a lot of guys, I just assumed you did more."

"I'm not a good girl, Lori."

"Jade, you didn't have sex until college."

I roll my eyes at her. "I knew lots of guys cuz of Phillip and Da

"Like I said, closet good girl. Well, until Bradley."