That Wedding

I leave the store feeling a little depressed. I know Lori told me just to narrow in on a style, and I think I did. All the ladies at the bridal store seem to think I look best in a strapless mermaid style gown. I agree on strapless, but I don't know if I picture myself at my wedding looking like a mermaid.

Phillip rubbed my face before he left for work this morning. It might be my favorite thing in the whole world. I fell back asleep and dreamt of wedding dresses.

I'm in a bowling alley wearing the huge pouffy hoop-skirted wedding dress. All my friends are bowling pins with faces.

Somehow, I keep getting pushed down the lane, like I'm a bowling ball. I smash into my bowling pin friends with the big skirt and knock them to the ground.

And they are not happy about it.

Pretty soon, all the bowling pins are yelling at me, telling me what a horrible dress I picked, how they hate it, and hate me.

Now, I'm standing above what I think is the pit to hell.

All my bowling pin friends are lying in the pit all around my feet. They're moaning, writhing in pain, begging to be let out. When I can't bend over to help them because the dress is so big, they try to pull me into hell with them.

I wake up with a jerk, feeling a bit depressed, but immediately get to work.

After four hours of online searching, I've decided that pla

Right now, it's literally sucking the life out of me.

Rule #1 in all bridal magazines. Give yourself a year to plan the perfect wedding.

And here's another wedding statistic for you.

Most brides are engaged for fifteen months!

Fifteen months!!!!!

And we want to do this in like three months?

Is that even possible?

I called a bunch of hotels this morning. Asked about a Saturday in December or January. I got a whole lot of we're booked.

Maybe we should just run off to Vegas and get married by a fake Elvis. I'll wear a tacky cheap gown that I can wear on the roller coaster later.

No, that's not what I want. I remember my mom telling me she spent way too much on her wedding dress. JJ, that is something you should never skimp on.

I know her rhinestones, bling, and love of leopard used to bug me, but it was so her.

I feel like I shouldn't be pla

Then I think, my mom's dress! Maybe I could wear it!

I crawl up to the top shelf in my closet, pull the big box down, and try it on.

And laugh.

And laugh some more.

Oh my. This dress is so eighties, it's almost comical. It has huge puffy shoulders, full length mutton sleeves, and is covered with lace and iridescent sequins. I look closer at the fabric, wonder if I could have the dress remade. I really don't love the lace, so probably not. I'm a little surprised at myself though. I kinda like the sparkle. The little sequins. I bet they looked really pretty when she moved. They kinda remind me of the dress Phillip got me for our engagement party. It was beautiful. I've been telling the ladies at the bridal shop that I hate bling, but some of the dresses I've tried on have seemed too plain. Maybe I need a little bling.

I'm pretty sure my mom would like that.

I call Lori again and tell her to Skype me. I want her to see that I'm actually miserable and not just faking it.

"Lori, wedding pla

"You just need a different approach. Don't look at this as something you have to do, have to get done…look at this as, um, a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. You're taking this incredible trip to Bridalville, and you get to shop, no wait…SEARCH, for the coolest thing from each town to bring back to show your friends. You know, the greatest cake, the most gorgeous dress, the funkiest favors, the yummiest food, the coolest cocktail. Whatever YOU want. How fun is that????"

"Well, that does sound fun," I say cautiously. "A new approach. Maybe that's what I need." I look at her with a shrewd eye. "You're using this shit on Da

"I don't know what you're talking about." She gets a smug look on her face.

"You've gotten really good," I say, complimenting her manipulative skills.

And well, the conversation worked.

I've decided to take a new approach.

Screw the theme.

Screw the colors.

I'm going on a search for what I like best, and that's what I'm going to use.

We'll throw caution to the wind, say what the hell, and just let it fall into place.

We have a new theme for the wedding, and that theme is ME!

Say it with me now!!!

It's all about me!!

Okay, so it's about Phillip too, but you know what I mean.

Then I realize that's what is missing! I need Phillip. I want his input on all of this. I shouldn't decide it myself. We should do it together. Although lately, it seems like every time we talk about anything wedding related, we end up in bed, or well, somewhere, you know, having a little fun.

Tonight, I'll take Phillip out for some pizza, and we'll look through wedding ideas.

Shoot.

That won't work. I don't want to drag my laptop and all the crap I've torn out of magazines to di

We'll just order in pizza.

But if we're at home, I know what'll happen. And what will happen will have nothing to do with the wedding. Well, I take that back, Phillip keeps telling me we're having "rehearsals" for the honeymoon. The honeymoon he's pla

So I text that boy.

Me:  Tonight, I'm just saying no. No sex.

Phillipbaby<3  Did I do something wrong?