Love Me

“No. I texted him. Told him I knew he hooked up with her. He hasn’t replied. Hasn’t apologized. Nothing.”

“I doubt he’s had time,” Jake counters. “He was throwing up this morning and then went to practice. Since then, he’s been either with the trainer or the dean.”

“He said he deserved it. He’s not going to text me. What would he say? Sorry for hooking up with her. Except, really, I’m not sorry because this is what I’ve wanted since last year.”

“I think you should go talk to him,” Dawson says.

I peek at my phone again, wishing he would say something.

Anything.

Some kind of explanation.

Because I don’t understand how I could’ve been so wrong about him.

I frown.

Dawson must see the disappointment on my face because he says, “Why don’t you come to my room? I think I have some more rum.”

“I need some rum.”

We get to his room and find a mostly empty bottle of rum.

“You can have it,” he says, handing me the bottle.

I grab it and take a big swig, realizing that since seeing Aiden, I need this pity party more than ever. I get tears in my eyes.

“Don’t cry,” Dawson says. “You know, something like this happened to me and Whitney once. We got in a fight. I was upset. Got drunk. Got taken advantage of.”

“You got taken advantage of? By who?”

“Just this chick on the dance team. She knew I was drunk. Knew I never would’ve kissed her if I wasn’t.”

“What were you fighting about?”

“I don’t even remember, probably something stupid. My point is, I was upset. I wasn't looking to hook up. I wanted to get drunk. Period. Then the next day, I was pla

“He’s wanted her all semester,” I say sadly.

All of a sudden, I don’t care about making a mistake. I need Dawson to hold me. I need him to make me feel good. Make me feel like someone cares about me. Someone wants me. I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t need that. I know I will regret it.

But I don’t care.

I lean in to kiss him.

He puts his hand up and stops me.

“What?”

“We’re not go

“Why not?”

“I want you. You know I do, but I think it would be a mistake.”

“The last time I made a mistake it was the best sex of my life.”

I push him onto the bed and throw myself on top of him. I wrap my leg around his and slowly rock my hips into him. Kiss his neck. Try to undo his shorts.

"Keatie, damn. Stop, okay? I'm trying really hard to do the right thing here." He pushes me back. "You do what you just did to me to Aiden?"

"Uh, kinda."

"Gotta give the guy credit. No way I could say no.”

“Good. Untie this,” I say, pulling at the knot holding his workout shorts on.

“Except, that I’m saying no now.”

I flop over on my back. I swear, if I someone says that word to me one more time, I’m go

Dawson hovers above my face. “I’ll make you a deal. Settle it with Aiden. If it’s really over then I'll do anything you want."

"How about, for now, we just kiss?"

“Nope. You need to go talk to Aiden.”

“No way!” I pull my shirt up. “Look, I have on a really pretty new bra.”

He pulls my shirt back down.

“I’m trying to do the right thing here. Go. I'm serious.”

I stamp my foot. “Dawson, you're supposed to be my friend. I’m throwing myself at you.”

“Trust me, our friendship is the only thing keeping me from ripping those panties off you. That, and your phone’s been buzzing.” He grabs it off his nightstand and looks at it. “He tried to call you twice. He also texted you.”

I swipe the phone out of his hand and look at it.

Hottie God:  We need to talk. My room. 7:00.

I glance at the time. It’s 7:10.

“I’m not going. He’s not going to order me around.”

“Just go see what he has to say, then decide what you want to do.”

“What I want to do is go upstairs, tell him to fuck off, and then come back down here and fuck you.”

Dawson shakes his head. “I saw the way you looked at him in the hall. We’re not doing that, Keatie. Not tonight.”

He gives me a hug and pushes me out the door. “Go.”

Leaving the safety of Dawson’s room makes me feel very alone.

I walk down the hall, up a flight of stairs, and stand in front of his door.

I can't believe I’m standing here.

It’s bullshit. I’m not talking to him.

What is there to talk about?

All he’s going to say is that he’s back together with her. Give me some lame apology.

Make me cry again.

No.

I can’t do it.

I can’t listen to those words come out of his mouth.

My heart can’t take it.

Bryce’s door opens from behind me and Katie pulls me into his room.

“We need to talk,” Bryce says.

“About what?”

“About last night,” Katie says.

“What do you mean?”

“Aiden didn’t hook up with Chelsea.”

“What do you mean? She told me they did. Told me they’re back together.”

“It’s not true. Bryce was there. The whole time.”

I drop to Bryce’s bed. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I just figured it out when I talked to Katie. After Riley punched him, I was helping Aiden. He told me he got punched because of a broken promise. I figured it had something to do with you, but he wouldn’t say. He’s either been with the dean or getting medical attention since Riley punched him. I don’t think he even knows what Chelsea did. His phone was in my room all day. And he just got back.”

“Tell me what happened.”

Bryce sits down next to me. “We were at the Cave and it started raining, so I dropped Katie off at her dorm. When I got back here, Aiden had already been drinking. I was getting ready to ask him what was wrong when Chelsea barged in looking for alcohol. She saw Aiden, said she needed to talk to him, and pulled him out to the hall.”

I shut my eyes tightly. “Never mind. I don’t want to hear this.”

“Let me finish. I opened the door and Chelsea had him pi

“He let her unzip his pants?!” I cry out.

“Yeah, but let me finish. Then he grabbed her chin and said, Don’t ever fucking touch me again, stumbled back in here, and slammed the door shut.”

“He must have snuck out later and met her, then?”

“He didn’t. He was in my room for the rest of the night. Puking.”

“I just don’t get why she’d lie.”

“Chelsea wants every guy for herself and loves to cause trouble,” Katie replies.

But Bryce counters, “That’s not really it. Last year they dated and went to Prom together. At Prom, he found out that she’d been screwing around on him, so he broke up with her. It wasn’t until he showed interest in you that she started apologizing and telling him she wanted him back.”

“Why would anyone be so mean? To lie like that?”

But then I remember what Mandy did to Cush.

How it wasn’t his fault. How Mandy kept lying even when confronted with the truth.

I put my face in my hands.

Trying to let it sink in.

You have to trust the people that you love.

I didn’t trust Aiden.

And now he has a broken nose because of it.

I slowly get up, walk out the door in a daze, and stand in front of Aiden’s door.

My phone vibrates. "Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Standing outside your door trying to decide—"

His door swings open.

"Your face looks horrible!" I blurt out.

I want to kiss his swollen nose, the black circle under one eye, and the slightly yellow circle under the other.