Stalk Me

I’m not sure what to think about his news last night. I am happy for him. I do want him to pursue his dreams. I just didn’t imagine they would take him away from me.

“Whatcha doing?” RiA

“I’m texting both Marcus and Rodney. I can’t decide which one I want more. I mean, they’re both hot.”

“Rodney? The short lacrosse player?”

“Oh, Keatyn, you’ve been gone for too long. Rodney grew this summer. He’s a hunky six foot two and has abs to die for. Wait until you see him. He’ll be one of the hottest guys at school this year. And if he’s dating me, well, we know what that will do for his popularity.”

“You should bring him then. Marcus is a jerk.” I turn toward RiA

RiA

“Just ask someone . . . ” I start to say, but Vanessa interrupts me.

“In case you can’t tell, she’s in a funk. I would be too if I’d put on six pounds this summer.”

RiA

Vanessa says to RiA

I think about the song. The song Damian wrote about how my eyes look when I’m with Brooklyn. Our song. The song he finished recently and quickly released as a single. I need to tell them about Brooklyn. About how I’m bringing him to my party. About how I want them to accept him. I open my mouth to speak.

Vanessa holds her hand up at me. “Hold that thought. RiA

RiA

Of course they did. Vanessa was in a teeny black negligee, leaning forward, so that you could see most of her boobs, while I poured champagne into her mouth straight from the bottle. The guys had some specific comments about what kinds of pictures they’d like to see next.

RiA

Vanessa shakes her head. “She’ll have the cottage cheese plate, please. You can bring the burger and fries to Miss I’m-Back-in-America-After-An-Amazing-Summer-Touring-With-a-Rock-Band.”

“I wasn’t with the band the whole time,” I admit. “I was with Brooklyn all summer. We’re, like, in love. It was the most amazing summer of my life.”

RiA

Vanessa cuts her off again. “Are we talking about the surfer?”

I nod my head.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, hell, no. Do you know how hard I worked this summer while you were off playing around? It’s fine if you want to play in the gutter. It’s fine to have a summer fling with the lifeguard. It’s expected. Everyone slums in the summer.”

“Brooklyn is hardly a lifeguard. For God’s sake, his dad is worth like a hundred million.”

Vanessa waves her hand at me. “Okay, whatever. But you're taking Cush to your party, right?”

“No, I’m not. I haven’t talked to him all summer. I don’t even know if he’s coming.”

“He needs to be your date. After what happened with Mandy, you need to show everyone that you’re still together.”

“But we’re not together.”

“You will be once he gets back. Everyone knows you broke up for the summer, because he had to go to his dad’s. But people still expect you to get back together. You’ll be an even bigger couple than you and Sander were. I mean, seriously, you can feel the chemistry you two have together. Use the party to lock that boy down.”

RiA

“The party is obviously going to be badass,” Vanessa continues, “but the after-party is key. I've been tweaking the guest list all summer.” She grabs her phone. “I’m emailing you the list now. You can forward it to your people.”

My people. As in Kym, who is practically part of the family. This is it. This is where I have to stand up to her. I have to set the right tone for this year. We can be friends, but she isn’t going to tell me what to do. Or who I can date.

“I already have the list of who I'm inviting. It's going to be all my favorite people. The party can be about being popular, but the after-party is go

RiA

Vanessa chomps down on her back teeth. I can tell she’s trying hard to control her temper. “It will never work. And did you not learn your lesson with Mandy? I know it’s been a long summer of surfing, sex, and weed. You relaxed, had fun. It messed with your brain.”

“It didn’t mess with my brain. I love him, and I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks.”

“So you’re going out with him? You’re in a relationship with him? Because I haven’t seen it on Facebook. No one has. Because it’s not there. It was a summer fling. Now, it’s back to reality.”

“Uh, well no, we’re not officially going out. And he told me last night that he’s sort of leaving for a year to go on the pro surfing tour, so I’m not sure what that means exactly as far as our relationship goes.”

Vanessa snorts out a laugh. “You don’t know what that means? Are you fucking blind? It means he already knows it’s over. You need to be with Cush. I didn’t tell you, because I was pissed at you, but you and Cush are good together. Like seriously. Popularity aside. He’s good for you. He wants to make you happy. You should let him.”

“I’m not blind, okay? I just don’t know what it all means.”

“Use your brain, Keatyn,” Vanessa says.

RiA

“And you know what it means,” Vanessa continues. “It means he’s just not that into you.”

I sigh. This is what has been bothering me. “But he says he loves me. Like, all the time.”

Vanessa shakes her head and rolls her eyes big time. “You know how they say that guys think with their dicks?”

I nod tentatively.

“Well, girls have the same problem. Only they think with their hearts, instead of their heads. Your heart might be in love with him, but your brain knows it can’t be like true love, because why?”

RiA

Vanessa continues. “And he’s leaving you for a year.”

I mutter out, “And he might not come to my party.”

Shit. Nothing like a big fat slice of reality before lunch.

Sadly, everything they’re saying is true, and I didn’t even tell them how bad it was when we were on tour. My eyes start to tear up. I put my fingers into the corners of them under my sunglasses to try and keep them from falling. “I wasn’t happy with Sander. We were best friends, but you guys know there was no passion. No sex. I’ve always sort of scripted out my version of the perfect life. I thought Sander was it. Now I want a new script. One where both sets of my friends could all be friends. Like the surfers could maybe come to Cush’s parties sometimes and stuff.”