Stalk Me

Ohmigawd! Could this be it? Is he finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend!?

I’m so excited that I barely eat my blackened salmon, asparagus, and baby new potatoes.

I imagine what he’s going to say to me. Imagine him giving me a ring or a lock of his hair or something personal and dreamy.

After dessert, he starts to look nervous.

Oh my gosh! Here we go!!

“So this summer was amazing, Keats. It was such an incredible experience.”

I grab his hand across the table and squeeze it. “I know. It was for me too. I’ll never forget it.”

“So, I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now . . . ”

OMG! I want to scream with joy!

“So, I’m finally going to do it. I’m going on the pro tour.”

Wait. What? He’s not asking me out?

“You’re going where?”

He gets a huge happy grin on his face. “A couple weeks ago, I told my dad how much I enjoyed our time at all the different surf spots. What an amazing experience it was. All the cool people we met. I’ve committed to doing the tour for a year. If, at the end of the year, I’m ranked top ten or so, then I’ll think about continuing. If not, I’ll come back home and figure out my next move. Dad says I’ll only be young once, so I should take the opportunity. That it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.”

“You’ll be gone for a year?” I ask incredulously. Because he’s not asking me to go out with him. He’s leaving me.

He goes on and one about the waves he surfed and how they varied, but I’m not really listening.

All I keep thinking is He’s leaving me for a year.

“You’re the reason I’m doing all this, you know?”

I shake my head and squint my eyes. I really have no clue what the hell he’s talking about it.

“You’re the one that talked me into taking the summer off and touring some of the world’s great surf spots. You’re the one who told me I should follow my dreams wherever they take me. ”

“I said that?”

When the hell did I say it?

And had I been drinking? Was I high?

He rubs his finger across the top of my hand. “Of course you said it. Because you’re amazing. And Dad took the ball and ran with it. He’s already got sponsors lined up for me. So, I’m actually going to do it. Live my dream. Can you believe it?”

“No, not really,” I say flatly.

“You don’t seem very excited.”

I try to brighten my face. I don’t think I succeed. “I’m thrilled for you, B. Really. When do you leave?”

“It’s kinda still up in the air. We’ll talk about it after your birthday. I have some fun stuff pla

This excites me. “You do? Really?” He’s not really the pla

“Yep. Thursday, you’re mine. You said your family thing is Friday night, right?”

“Yeah, di

“Um, would you be mad if I didn’t go Saturday?”

I can barely breathe. Is he serious? “You don’t want to come to my party?”

“I’d think that after London you’d know the answer to that. Besides, we’ll have done tons of celebrating by then.”

“Uh, okay.” I don’t even know what to say to that. “You’ll come to the after-party at my house, though, right? I invited all the surfers. I thought it would be so cool for my school friends to meet your friends.” He looks at me like I’m certifiably insane. “You don’t think they’ll get along?”

“Oh they’ll get along. Like oil and water.”

“I guess I’m more optimistic than you are.”

He pays our tab, and we walk out to the car.

I start to get tears in my eyes and choke out the words I’ve been wondering. “Are you breaking up with me?”

He laughs. “I didn’t realize we were going out.”

My face drops and the tears start falling. I turn away from him.

He grabs my shoulders and turns me back around.

“I haven’t thought through all the details yet.”

“That’s worse. I wasn’t even a consideration.”

“Keats, sometimes in life you have to do what’s right for you and hope that your friends will support you. This is right for me. And don’t cry. It all came about very suddenly. And you start school soon. You’ll be so busy with all the things you want to do, you’ll barely have time to miss me. We’ll figure something out. We’ll be fine, Keats.” He hangs his head and says quietly. “I thought you’d be so excited for me. I got all dressed up and even splurged on your favorite expensive restaurant.”

I look up at him. I don’t even care that I probably look frightening with mascara dripping down my face. “I thought you were going to ask me to go out with you; instead you tell me you’re leaving me for a year. I am excited for you. I really am. I’m just not very excited for me.”

He pulls me into his arms. “I’m not going to be gone all the time. I’ll be home some. And you can come visit me.”

“Have a long distance relationship? You told Troy those never work. That he and his girlfriend would never make it through his European tour. And that’s only a four-month tour. You’ll become a celebrity like Damian. Girls will be throwing their panties at you. You’ll be half way around the world and you’ll forget all about me.”

“I’m never going to forget about you. Ever. You’ll always be my friend, and I’m pretty sure I’ll always love you.”

I lean forward and kiss him. “I’m pretty sure I’ll always love you too.”

“Good. We’ll figure out the rest soon.”

When we get back to my house, I pull him into my room and lock the door.

“Thanks for di

He nods his head, pulls me onto the bed, and kisses me.

Wednesday, August 17th

I mean, hell, no.

1pm

Today I’m sitting by the pool at an exclusive hotel with Vanessa and RiA

Brooklyn had already left. He told me I looked amazing in my dress, how horny it made him, and kissed me, but we didn’t have sex. He said he was tired and he didn’t think he should spend the night. Which I really don’t understand. How can you ever be too tired for sex?

I was a little worried that things might be awkward with Vanessa and RiA

Now we’re lying by the pool.

Lying by the pool here, I look much different than when Brooklyn and I laid on the beach in Europe. For one, I look good. My hair is blown out and straightened to perfection. I’m wearing burnished gold earrings that match my gold printed Melissa Odabash triangle bikini, gold bangles on my wrists, a Free People Amalia stone drop collar necklace, my most expensive tortoiseshell aviator sunglasses, and adorable thick-strapped Ralph Lauren sandals.

I feel fantastic. Like my old self. Brooklyn would laugh if he saw me now. I wish he could appreciate my love of clothes a little more. When we’re anywhere near a beach, our relationship is perfect, but when we went on tour with Damian, it wasn’t anything close to perfect.

He laughed at my split ends for God’s sake! Shouldn’t he know that’s not a laughing matter?

Isn’t that kind of like telling a girl her butt does look big when she asks?

You just don’t do it.