Four Summers

Without a word, Dad drops his tool belt to the deck and walks away.

Nate is to me before right as the first tears rolls off my face and hits the deck. “Shh. Come here. It’s okay. I got you.”

Climbing onto his lap, I wrap my arms around his him, bury my face into his neck and give into my cries. Nate just holds me, rubs my back and tells me it will be okay. That he’s sorry, but all I can think is that my dad, the big, strong man who’s run The Village since he was twenty years old, the one who built a fort with me and taught me to fish and play football and drive a boat, just peed his pants when he stood up.

My legs shake as I walk into the house a little while later. Seeing Dad right now is the last thing I want to do. Maybe that’s not what I should be thinking, but I am and it’s not just because of me. It’s for him. After what just happened, I know he wishes he’d never have to see Nate or me again.

But I also can’t walk away. It’s not right and no matter how hard it is, I have to try and show him that it’s okay. That nothing has changed.

Yeah right.

“Hey,” Dad says, changed into a fresh pair of clothes. “You might want to get changed. We’re leaving soon.”

Confusion pushes words out of my mouth, “Where are we going?”

“Randy and Maggie.”

Huh? I have no idea why we’d be going to Alec’s all of a sudden. “Okay…when will we be back?”

“Who knows, Charlie? Do you have plans I don’t know about?”

Every night. “No. Let me go take a shower. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

After grabbing my clothes, I lock myself in the bathroom and text Nate.

Don’t know if I’ll be able to make it out 2night. Dad suddenly wants to go to Alec’s.

Everything cool? He asks almost immediately.

Think so. We used to go there a lot. Maybe he just misses old times?

This time it takes a minute for him to reply. K. See ya 2morrow. Let me know if u need anything.

Thx

Nate doesn’t reply after that. I wonder if he’s mad, but I don’t know what he would expect me to do. I have to go with Dad.

My shower is over quickly and before I know it we’re in the truck heading over to Alec’s. I don’t ask him about The Village—who he has working it or if he just closed it down early for tonight. None of those things really matter.

Alec and his family live in a small house about two miles from us. The short drive doesn’t give us time to talk, and honestly, I’m not sure if I want to.

Dad knocks, but doesn't wait for an answer before pushing their front door open.

“We’re out back!” Maggie yells, so we weave our way through their house to the deck where Randy stands in front of the grill while Alec and his mom sit at their picnic table. It’s like déjà vu to so many other evenings of my life that for a second, I actually feel like I’ve been transported back in time.

Sadie and Mom’s empty seats jerk me right back to the present.

“Charlie Rae! It’s been much too long since you came to visit.” Maggie hugs me. Yes, we see each other at least a few times a week because she helps at The Village, but she’s right. I haven’t been to Alec’s house all summer.

“Hey, kiddo,” Randy says.

“Hi.” My reply was means for them both.

“What’s up?” Alec asks when I sit down by him. Our parents are all on the other side of the deck by the grill now.

“Hey.”

“Surprised you could make it away from your extension tonight.” It’s the first smart aleck comment he’s made about Nate since the campout.

“First of all, screw you. I hate it when you’re a jerk for no reason. Second,” and now I lower my voice, “Dad peed his pants in front of me today, so excuse me if I’m not in the mood to fight with you.”

Alec’s facial expression goes hard. Not angry, but…upset? “Shit. I’m sorry, Charlie.”

I shrug. “It is what it is.”

Reaching over, he gives me a hug. For a few seconds, I let myself be comforted from my oldest friend.

Soon we’re all eating di

Holy shit.

I have Dad in my sights now. Is that why we’re here? Is he trying to manipulate me?

“Wa

As soon as we get into Alec’s room, I fall into the chair by his desk and he sits on the bed.

“Can’t believe summer’s almost over,” he says.

“Yep.”

“We’re seniors next year.”

“Uh huh.” The short answers are about all I can manage right now.

“Wa

“Sure.” As soon as I reply, I realize my mistake. “Alec!”

“It’s your fault. What? You can’t talk to me anymore?”

My instinct is to yell at him, but there’s a genuine sadness to his words. That little bit of vulnerability that Alec doesn’t often show. “I just have a lot going on right now. It’s not you, and you know it.”

He nods, because no matter what, he really does.

“It’s crazy how much things can change sometimes, isn’t it? I mean…everything. It’s like you expect your life to go a certain way and then you get thrown this huge curveball—”

“Baseball metaphors? You’re i

“I’m serious, Charlie. I never would have expected someone to come between us. I just…always thought no matter what, there would always be certain things I’d know. You are one of those things. I never expected that to change…”

In that moment, I see someone different in Alec than I’ve ever seen before. It’s hard for me to even say what it is; I just know it’s not the Alec I thought I knew my whole life. For the first time, it's out in the open, that the future we both thought we would fall into won’t come to pass.

“You are and will always be my best friend, Alec. Please tell me you know that.” Getting up, I walk over and sit next to him.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Absolutely. Nate or no one else will ever change that. I’d do anything for you.”

Alec pulls me into a hug. “I’ve got…there are some things going on with me too.”

I cock my head and look at him. “What is it? Your dad?”

“Yes and no. Never mind. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“I’m here when you’re ready.”

He sighs. “I know. I love you, Charlie. You’re a good friend.”

Bruises cover my heart, as everything seems to drain out of me. “I love you too.”

I knew nothing could stay perfect for long.

The truck is silent except for the rumble of the engine as Dad and I bump down the road.

“I’m sorry about today,” he says, after what feels like an eternity.

Which part? I wonder. The thing on the deck or trying to manipulate me. “Why did we go to Maggie and Randy’s tonight, Dad?”

“They’re our friends—”

“Who we haven’t visited forever. Why tonight?”

Dad sighs. “Look, Charlie. I’m tired and I’ve had a long day. If you have something to say to me, you need to just say it.”