Four Summers

“But this is how I can repay him. I can’t leave him alone.”

“What if you helped in the summers? Couldn’t he find someone to work for him during the rest of the year?” I ask her.

“Hiring extra help isn’t always cost efficient and, that’s not all it is. He wants this is our legacy, ya know? He wants it in the family.”

I’m not sure what to say to that. I get it, but it’s still shitty and not fair to her.

She wipes at her eyes. It turns me inside out to see her cry. I sit up and pull her to me, into my lap, and she sits there, wrapping her arms around my neck. “You really think they’ll leave?” I ask.

Charlotte nods. “I think so. It wouldn’t be bad here, Nathaniel. I just…”

“You want more.”

She nods and we sit there like that, her on my lap as I touch the tender skin of her side.

“Want me to tell you?” she asks after a few minutes. “If I could do anything, do you want me to tell you what I’d do?”

“Yeah.”

And then she talks. I hold her while she tells me she would study astrology. “I want to learn everything there is to know about the stars. I want to see big cities and little ones. To travel and see what the night looks like from other places in the world.”

“You should. You could do it.”

“I’ve never been farther than a few hours from Lakeland Village.”

She asks about New York so I tell her about places I would take her, if we ever had the chance to go.

“I’ve always wanted to go to the West Coast,” she admits. “Los Angeles or maybe San Francisco.”

“I want to go far away for school too.” Then I whisper against her cheek, “I think you’ll go one day.”

“Yeah?” she asks.

“I do.” And it’s the truth.

“I’m bored. You wa

It’s evening and we spent the day hiking with our parents. Charlotte had to work with her dad, and I have no idea what time they'll be done. “Sure.” I shrug. “I guess.”

We go outside and around to the side of the cabin. Brandon throws the ball at me and I catch it before tossing it back to him. A laugh comes from the direction of Charlotte’s house so I look over to see who it was. Sadie’s sanding on the back deck with Brice. Alec’s parents are there, too, his mom sitting on his dad’s lap. It’s his mom who laughed at something someone said. Her head is tossed back and a huge smile is on her face.

Mr. Gates is standing at the grill, cooking as he looks on. Even Mrs. Gates is out there, a glass of wine in her hand. She looks happy, too. Off to the farthest side of the deck, Charlotte sits on the ledge with Alec standing in front of her. They’re in some kind of conversation and she doesn’t seem to notice anything else around her.

Which means she doesn’t notice me. I shake that thought out of my head. Looking at her over there, her family and his, I see it for the first time. She does fit in here. It might not be all she wants, but she could be happy. I never wanted to see that before. Her dad is here and they’re good friends with Alec’s parents. Alec is here and as much as I hate the guy, I know she cares about him.

This could be her life.

I think I wanted to believe she hated it here. And maybe she does, but I see that maybe she might not too.

It sends a cold blast through me. Then I feel like shit for thinking that way. I shouldn’t want her to be unhappy.

“What the hell, man?” Brandon says, jogging up to me where he’s able to see the deck.

He stares over there for a second too before he sighs. “One big happy family, huh?”

I look at my brother. “I’m not. I don’t. It’s not my business what Charlotte does.” That doesn’t feel right, though. The words turn the cold inside me to an angry fire.

Brandon shakes his head. “Whatever you say. And who said I was talking about you?”

Shit. He really does care about Sadie. I shouldn’t be shocked that he lied before. It’s not like we’ve ever been really close or that either of us really go around talking about how we feel. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “You can…you know, talk to me or something. Tell me what happened.”

Brandon opens his mouth and I think he might say something real, but he shakes his head. “You wouldn’t get it. No one would.” He nods toward the other side of the house. “We’ll head over that way. Go long.”

I don’t tell Charlotte that I saw her with Alec’s family. There’s really no point. It doesn’t change anything and it shouldn’t make me feel as shitty as it does. We sneak out that night like we always do. She could be with him, if she wanted. Maybe it makes me a dick, but it feels good to know I’m the one she spends her nights with. It’s like she’s choosing me over him, when I shouldn’t want her in the position to choose anything.

She tells me that she has to work with her dad for a little bit in the morning and then her and all their friends taking one of the boats out, so Brandon and I should go.

When I get back to the cabin, my brother tells me he already pla

Though I guess that’s probably because I hate him.

The next morning we get up and ready. Charlotte is outside working with her dad and I hear him yell, “God damn it!”

My head whips that direction. They’re over at one of the boats and I see Charlotte shake her head and bend to pick up a tool and then hand it to him. He puts it back to the boat and then drops it again. His back is to me so I can’t tell if he threw it down or what, but he looks pissed. He says something to Charlotte and then takes off toward the house.

Before I know it, I’m walking over to her. I’ve never heard him curse at her like that, but I don’t like it.

“What was that about?” I ask. Her face is a little pale when she looks at me. “Is he…he’s not violent with you is he?”

That snaps her out of her daze. “What? No! I don’t know what just happened. All he did was drop the wrench. He grabbed it, but dropped it again and then he got all pissed. He’s not usually like that at all.”

She’s watching the direction he went. I step toward her. “I’m sure he’s just having a bad day.” I pick up the wrench and then look at what he was trying to tighten. “I’ll help you.”

“Okay.” She smiles.

Charlotte and I are only there for about five minutes before all their friends show up. Brandon makes an appearance and we begin packing things into one of the other boats.

“I need to go change real quick.” Charlotte doesn’t wait for my reply before heading for the house. All of the other girls are already in bikinis, some wearing short skirts over them and some not. I wonder what Charlotte’s going to wear. Last year I only saw her in her swimsuit a couple times, and it covered a whole lot of skin. It didn’t surprise me that she wasn’t the bikini type, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see her in one.

When she comes back, she’s wearing a white button up shirt, and a pair of shorts.

Damn. No answers yet.

We get out on the boat a few minutes later. Alec drives and that pisses me off, because it's totally rational that everything he does a

They turn on some music and people pull out beers and we’re all hanging out and having a good time. A little while later some people jump in the water. Alec, Sadie, Brandon, Mike, Danielle, and Brice are all swimming while me, Charlotte and two other people are on the boat.