Four Summers

Alec jaw is tight and he keeps squeezing the steering wheel. I’m not sure why he doesn’t like Nathaniel. Maybe because no boys are interested in me and we spend so much time together, he just sort of considers me his. He’s never had to share me, even with another friend. But he’s friends with someone who stayed at The Village for the first time too.

I’m not anyone’s. Not Alec’s, and I’m definitely not Nathaniel’s.

Nathaniel leans forward from the small cab in the truck. “Do we even know what’s playing?”

“No one watches the movies anyway,” Alec replies.

“So I’m not allowed to watch the movie? Shit. You guys should have told me.” There’s laughter in Nathaniel’s voice and I can’t help but smile.

Alec shakes his head from the driver’s seat, but then as we pull in, he says, “Your brother and Sadie are getting awful close.”

Nathaniel just shrugs like he doesn’t care and leans back again. My head whips toward Alec. “Why do you care? Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sadie A

It’s selfish of me, I know, but Alec is the only thing I’ve ever had that Sadie could never take away from me, even if she wanted to. Everyone else loves her more and I’ve been okay with that because I had Alec. His statement hurts me more than it should.

“You know that’s not how it is, Charlie.” Then he reaches over and puts his hand on my knee. It’s a comforting move because he knows I’m insecure when it comes to my sister. He’s been around long enough to know that and I both want to squeeze his hand back as a thank you, and also feel strange about it being there, too.

Nathaniel clears his throat. Without looking back, I know he’s smiling. His eyes are dancing with laughter and saying, I told you so, because he sees more between Alec and me than there really is. I ignore him.

We drive to our private spot under the trees. Sadie’s car is already there as well as a bunch of other people we know. All in all there’s about six vehicles parked. As soon as Alec kills the engine, we all three climb out.

Everyone gets busy making beds in the backs of the trucks and setting up camp chairs. My chair is stuck. As I fight to get it open, I see a few girls from school looking over at Nathaniel and smiling. My stomach sinks. The stupid chair becomes even more a

“You’re going to pulverize that thing. Let me do it.” Nathaniel grabs the chair from me and pulls, trying to open it.

I can tell he thought it would open easy so I laugh when he fights with the thing as hard as I did.

“You’re trying to put a dent in my masculinity, aren’t you?” He grunts like he’s struggling even more than he is.

“I don’t think I have to. The chair is doing a good enough job,” I laugh. Nathaniel looks up. He’s bent over messing with the chair, but his eyes are on me. There’s a teasing playfulness to them and then half his mouth lifts in a smile. His dimple shows and I don’t know how I’m able to read that look, but I turn and run.

I hear Nathaniel drop the chair behind me and know he’s right on my tail. I don’t get far before his arms wrap around my waist. My back is lined up with the front of his body, his mouth right next to my ear.

“Think you’re tough, do you, Star Girl,” he whispers. Shivers flow in wave after wave down my body. It’s only the second time he’s called me that, but I like it.

“Maybe not tougher than that chair.” I try to keep my voice calm, but then a laugh jumps out of my mouth when Nathaniel starts to tickle me. His hands play at my sides and I can’t stop the giggles that fall out of my mouth.

I feel the eyes of everyone else on us. They’re probably all wondering what the heck is going on. I don’t play around with boys like this. Sadie does. Other girls do, but not Flatty Rae.

I’m laughing and trying to get out of Nathaniel’s arms, but he doesn’t loosen his grip. He’s strong. I wish I could melt into his hold and that he would never let go. Still I pretend to try and break free as he keeps tickling. Then my foot gets caught in something and I start to go down. I don’t know how he does it, but Nathaniel turns us before we fall to the ground so it’s him that hits the dirt first. I land on top of him, gasping as I realize how I’m laying on him.

I pause, stare.

Nathaniel pauses, then smiles.

And we both bust up laughing again. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I do at this moment. He doesn’t push me off and I don’t move just yet. We just lay there in the dirt, my body resting on top of Nathaniel’s, his hands on my hips as we laugh.

All too soon, we’re quieting and Alec is walking over, holding out his hand to help me up. I let him and then Nathaniel gets up behind me and he’s dirty and I know I’m dirty and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

Nathaniel dusts himself off, but then looks over at me from under his lashes. He’s facing to the side of me and not head on so it’s just this side look and this half smile and I can’t stop from returning it. It feels like there are secrets in this look. Like there’s knowledge and fact, and I wonder if it was written in the stars.

I know then, I will never, ever forget this moment. I hope he won’t either.

They always play two movies at the drive in. When the first one is over, all the girls decide that we need to take a group trip to the bathroom. Makes no sense to me, but I go anyway. I don’t want to be that girl who stays behind with the guys because that’s the easy way of them seeing you as one of the boys.

There are eight of us in the dirty bathroom where no one really pees, but fixes their hair and touches up their make up and does girl talk.

“Brandon is so hot,” Cissy tells Sadie.

“I know, right?” my sister replies. “And seriously, such a good kisser!” Everyone laughs. I’m probably the only one who hasn’t kissed a boy so I keep my mouth shut.

“His brother is hot, too!” Danielle adds and they all agree. I grab a paper towel from the dispenser and pretend to wipe my hands. The last thing I want is to listen to them talk about how hot he is.

“Eh, he’s okay,” Sadie replies. “A little young for me.”

Yeah, because a year is so much younger than she is.

As awkward as it was sitting between Nathaniel and Alec for the first movie, it was better than being a part of this boy-talk cluster in the bathroom.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think Charlie had two boys fighting over her!” Sadie laughs, which everyone follows and starts to do the same. My gut clenches, but I try not to show my discomfort. Try to laugh it off, but really, I’m wishing it wasn’t so hard to believe. Not that I want boys fighting over me, because I don’t, but…why does it have to sound so impossible?

“For sure,” Bridgett says. “Everyone knows Charlie and Alec are going to be one of those couples who just end up together and then they’ll get married and that will be that.”

“Alec isn’t my boyfriend,” I grit out.

Bridget replies, “I know. You guys make that painfully obvious, but we know you will be one day. Which is a shame because Alec is hot, too. Since he’s not yours yet, you should tell him it’s okay to spread the love around a little.”

Everyone laughs again. I want to throw up. I toss the paper towel in the trash, pla

It feels like she just punched me in the stomach. I try to ignore the pain. “I'm not interested in him, anyway.” But I am. I know it and Nathaniel knows it and I think even Alec knows it. Why didn’t he tell me he had a girlfriend?