Out of Play

“Is that why he snuck a blond girl in here? I can’t help but wonder if he started seeing my daughter before or after her.”

Ready. Aim. Fire.

I’m dead.

I should have been the one to tell Gary about Marya

Gary’s quiet.

“Did you know about the girl?”

More quiet.

Finally, he replies. “We’ll be out by tomorrow.”

There’s never been a time I hated myself more than I do right now.

As soon as Pe

There’s no typical Gary smile on his face when he opens the door. No joking. No nothing. That’s not true. There’s disappointment, my legs buckle, threatening to collapse. Everything inside me aches. I want to run away. I’m scared as hell to do this, but I have to. I can’t keep ru

“Was it Marya

“Yeah.”

“Did you get high with her, Bishop?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit,” he mumbles, and then, “I should have known this. It was my job to fucking know.” His guilt over my screw-up jams that knife in me again. “How many times?”

I hate this. I’m so tired of disappointing everyone. Of disappointing myself. “Only once with her. That’s the only time she’s been here. I snuck some pills with me here, though. Took them off and on. I’ve also had one beer. And Marya

“Where are they?” he grits out, pacing the living room.

“Gone. Gramps took them—I told him about everything yesterday and he said he’d take care of them for me.” It’s so crazy spilling it out for him like this. It hurts. It sucks. I hate this person that I am, but it also makes the tightness in my chest loosen just a little.

Those words soften his stance a little bit. Gary sighs again before sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “How did I let this happen? I’ve done this before with Troy. I’ve been trained to do this. I should have known… I had faith in you, Bishop.”

His guilt makes me feel worse. “Fuck, I know.” Here comes the shaking. I run my hands through my hair hoping it will stop. “I know, and I hate that. Hate it all. It’s so screwed-up, but I swear, I’m done, Gary. I don’t want to touch anything anymore, and I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t matter, but I am. I’m coming clean to Pe

Gary looks me over. “Fu

Fear climbs up my spine. “It does. I’m not lying. I’m so fucking tired of lying. You can talk to Gramps. I told him everything yesterday. I made the decision about rehab and telling everyone the truth before you found out. I just hadn’t told you yet.”

He just stares at me, and I never realized how much I need Gary. How weak I was before he started helping me. He dropped his life for me, and he trusted me. He’s walked with me and talked with me and, hell, he’s my friend. I could have pushed him too far to go back, and that thought makes the words start rushing out of my mouth again. “It’s not your fault. I swear I’ll do better. Don’t turn your back on me…” Please, don’t turn your back on me.

He sighs. “You’ve really been thinking about his before now, Bishop? You talked to Gramps and this isn’t you grasping at straws here?”

“I swear.” I stare at the ground. “I know my word doesn’t mean much right now, but I’m telling you the truth. I…I need you.”

“And I’ll be here. You can’t get rid of me that easy. I’m not going anywhere.”

My head jerks up, and I look at him. He’s staying? “Really? You really won’t bail?”

“But I won’t be as easy on you. You’ve lost my trust. You’re going to have to earn it back, and I’m not letting this rehab thing go by the wayside. You want my help, then it’s happening.”

The urge to hug him hits me. “Thank you. I will. I’ll do whatever it takes. I just need to see Pe

Gary reaches over and grabs my shoulder. “I told you, we’d take care of this together, and we will. I’m not bailing on you. Never.”

It’s like each of Gary’s words start to pull the knife free. He’s not bailing. I can still do this. “Thank you. You won’t regret it.”

Chapter Twenty-two

Pe

“Your mom’s going to be pissed,” Bishop says as I turn off Bitty in the parking lot of the ice arena.

“Aww… Does my mom scare you?” I tease.

He shakes his head. “No, but I don’t want to cause problems, either.”

“Mom’s the one causing problems. And did you or did you not have to ask Gary if you could ride with me?” I scoot over and slide a leg across his lap until I’m straddling him in the front of my truck. This is what I need before my game—a little distraction to help me focus.

Bishop’s thumbs trace my cheekbones, and the warmth in his eyes turns my body to mush. I love everything about the way I feel with him. It’s a rush, like being on the ice, only softer, and warmer… His hands rest low on my waist, the way I’m learning he likes. And the way I’m learning I like.

I lean in for a kiss, which Bishop dodges by kissing my cheek.

“We need to talk about a few things, okay?” he says. “There’s stuff I need to tell you—”

I slide my tongue across his lower lip until I hit his lip ring, hoping to distract him. “Are you turning into a girl, Bishop Ripe? Talking about my mom and feelings and—”

He kneads my shoulders, staring at his hands. “I’m serious, Pe

The warmth in his eyes has turned sad, and that’s not what I need right now.

“And I’m serious when I say we can talk after the game. I need to kiss you.” I tease him with my tongue again, upper lip this time. “And then I need to focus.”

He narrows his eyes while trying to hold in a smile. “You’re impossible.”

“You love it.” I part my lips and barely touch them to his, pulling away when he opens his mouth for a kiss.

“I do love it. Now come here before you put all that gear on, and I can’t feel you anymore.” Bishop wraps his arms around my waist, making me forget everything but him and how I need to be closer. Need my body closer. Need more of his hands on me.

But the kiss is over way too soon, and Bishop’s pulling away.

He brushes a few stray hairs off my face. “You should probably go in. Hockey’s your thing. State Championship. This is a huge deal. I don’t want to distract you.”

“It is my thing.” I kiss the corner of his mouth. “I love hockey. I couldn’t function without it.”

He gets a far off look in his eyes like there are a million things buzzing around in his head.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I slide my hands down over his chest. Because Bishop and I touch each other that way. And we kiss. And after kissing him, I really want to know what it’s like to do more. I also know in a few minutes, I’m going to have to shake off this amazing feeling so I can get ready for the game. Just not yet.