Freeing Carter

"So not going there." We all sit at the table to eat. Sara, who I think is maybe little bit in love with my best friend, scoots her chair closer to him.

"It's been a while since you've been here, Travis. How are you?" Mom asks.

He finishes chewing his bite. "Good." His eyes don't meet Mom's.

"That's good. You guys are playing great so far this year. Your senior year shaping up the way you want?"

"Mm hmm."

"Are you still dating Melanie's friend? What was her name?"

"Geez, Ma. Fifty questions." She looks at me fu

"Sorry." She tosses a crouton from her salad at me and I laugh. "Who's up for dishes tonight? One, two, three, not it." I'm pretty sure I have the only mother in the world that plays "not it".

"No it," Travis says, before I can.

"No fair!" I pout and they both laugh at me. Once di

"What do you want to do? Wa

"Play. Carter. Trav. Please, please." Sara's holding Candyland.

"I'll play with you, sweetie," Mom tells her. "Let the boys go out."

"Carter! Carter! Please." She hugs me and then runs over and wraps her arms around Travis, too. I groan, knowing this can't be the way Travis wants to spend a Saturday night, but also knowing Sara has a way of getting what she wants.

I look at him and Travis shrugs, before saying, "I am like the King of Candyland. Get ready to go down."

Sara looks up at him, smiles, and starts jabbering in excitement.

Travis, Sara, Mom and I spend the next three hours playing every game in Sara's closet. And it's actually kind of cool. Mom's the person she would always be if it wasn't for alcohol. Sara's happy. I'm pretty sure Travis isn't thinking about his parents. The only thing missing is Kira.

***

Kira still has her hair straight when I pick her up Monday morning. She's dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. The clothes are almost too normal for her, but she still looks good. As soon as she closes the door behind her, I don't even give her a chance to speak before I lean over and kiss her. Kissing her ranks at the top of my favorite things to do list.

When my body starts to overheat, I press my lips to hers one more time before pulling away.

"Well, good morning to you, too." Her hand comes up to touch her lips and I hope she's trying to savor my touch. On the way to school, I give her a rundown of Saturday night.

"That sounds like so much fun! I totally want to play next time. I love your little sister. She's so cool."

Smiling, I say, "She takes after me."

We get a few strange looks when we show up at school holding hands. People are surprised to see us together. Death glares come from the cheer team, but Kira doesn't flinch or say anything. Travis alternates between teasing us, and telling Kira how much cooler he is than me, and that she should go out with him instead. I alternate between laughing and wanting to punch him even though I know he'd never really try to steal my girl.

Mrs. Z gives me the eye when we get to English, but before she can say anything, I promise her I will have work for her tomorrow and every day the rest of the week. And I will. I have to, even though I have no idea how I'm going to get it all done.

"You're ru

After practice, it takes a real Houdini act to dodge Mel, who is waiting for me, the way I used to wait for her after practice, but I manage. By the time I get to the store, I'm exhausted, knowing there are hours of work ahead of me.

"Truth or dare?" Kira whispers to me when I fall into the chair by the register.

I look up at her, wondering how she knew. "Truth. I'm stressed out about English. I have a lot to do and it takes me forever to do it." My eyes won't stay on her, hating what I admitted.

"But you want to? Do it, I mean?"

"Yeah. I don't want to fail. And I've managed it before, but..."

Kira shrugs. "Then you'll do it again. I know you can, Coach. You teach me more basketball, I'll help you with English."

I'd wanted this on my terms, and somehow she gave it to me, without my even having to ask.

Chapter Fourteen

As the next couple weeks go by, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Mrs. Z to tell me the work I've turned in isn't good enough. Waiting for us to somehow lose a game, which we haven't. Undefeated so far and with the way I'm playing, I'm pretty sure that's not what's going to go wrong.

So what will it be? Will Kira suddenly start spazzing out like Mel did? Turning into a girl with multiple personalities who's never happy with what I do? Nah, I'm pretty sure that isn't what's going to happen. She's awesome. She's the only person who makes me feel like talking. Who makes me feel the way I always tried to pretend I felt. With her, it's not an act. I don't have to lie. Plus, she's smokin' hot.

So then that leaves Mom. Will she be the one to bring everything crashing down on me again? Because right now, things are perfect. I look in her eyes when she wakes up, study her voice on the phone, rummage through all the stock rooms at the store. I've even looked in her closet. Nothing. Does that mean she hasn't had a drink since the day she woke up so sick? In my chest, it feels like she hasn't. Like she realizes how bad it was and is now better. That she'll never pick up a bottle again because she knows what it does to us. What it could do to Sara and she's decided that's more important.

My head is another story though. Last time, she told me it wouldn't happen again and I believed her. Look how that turned out. This time, she didn't even tell me. There were no promises. Just nothing. Just...suddenly sober.

But for how long?

"Mr. Shaw," Mrs. Z's voice rips me away from where I just went. "And here I thought you weren't falling asleep in my class anymore."

I look over at Kira, trying to give her the eye that says she should have saved me, but she smirks, winks, and walks out of the room with everyone else. Traitor.

"You have a minute?"

Yeah. Like I can say no to a teacher. "Absolutely." Really I want to tell her no because she's about to make my nightmares come true.

She sits on the edge of her desk and I stand in front of her. "I just want to let you know I'm proud of you. You've done a great job these past weeks. You're bringing your grade up nicely and you're caught up. Keep up the good work, Mr. Shaw. "

"Excuse me?" Totally not what I expected her to say.

"You heard me. And I want to let you know again, that I'm always here to talk. If you're having trouble with your work or anything."

She knows. Mrs. Z knows. I think about backpedaling. Telling her I don't need help and never will, but then I remember how it felt with Kira. Not lying and something makes me open my mouth and do it again. "I'm doing okay. I just... have to go slow, ya know? Sometimes it's confusing and gets a little jumbled in my head, but if I take it slow, I can work it out."

Some of the weight falls off my shoulders, my chest, with each of the words.

"That's understandable. Especially with Shakespeare. He's not very easy to understand. Please come to me if you need help. My door is always open to you, Carter. You're a smart boy. I know that. I just want to see you shine."