Dizzy

“That’s the thing. It was before your party.” My face flushes red as I think about why it was different after, and I scoot away so our arms no longer touch. “I barely saw him over the summer, and then it was…” I can’t believe I’m admitting out loud that we might have broken up even if it weren’t for him and Alyssa. Maybe. “…not perfect. Like he was pushing too hard, and I guess it wasn’t as easy to be around him as it used to be.”

“But you and Alyssa have been close for a long time?”

My gut twists. “Yeah.”

Dylan’s not looking at me, just staring across the empty space. He pulls his knees up and rests his elbows there. “Might want to at least give her a chance to explain.”

“And then I’ll have to relive it all over again. I’m just not ready.” I pick at my jeans for a minute.

Dylan’s hand rubs across my back. “I get it. But don’t wait too long, you know? It’s like there’s long enough to make ‘em sweat a little, which is good. But too long, and it might be a lot harder to fix.”

“So, you want me to fix things with James?” I’m totally fishing here, and my heart pounds as I wait for his answer. His hand is still on my back, and we’re still sitting close.

“Hell, no.” He laughs taking his arm back. “Let him suffer. But your girl? Talk. Bros before ho—Well, you know what I mean. Masta Dylan knows his shit, remember?”

“Yeah. Right.” I chuckle. “That’ll just be my mantra. Masta Dylan knows his shit.” I try to mimic his low voice but totally fail, which makes him laugh, which makes me laugh.

“What the hell?” Derrick raises his arms as he steps in the vast room and sees Dylan and I in a pile on the floor. Laughing.

“Sorry. I gave her sugar.” Lora pecks him on the cheek. “It makes her think she’s fu

***

I send Alyssa a text after school and wait on the porch to see if she’ll come. I miss my friend, no matter what happened between us. I’m not sure that I want to forgive James yet. I guess I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive her yet either, but I am ready to talk. And then I almost laugh out loud when I remember I’m here because of something Dylan thought I should do to feel better.

Like half of his personality points to jerk, and the other half points to something sort of remarkable and unexpected.

Alyssa pulls up to my house and has tears in her eyes before she hits the bottom step.

“Hey.” I lean back in my chair, even though that’s kind of the last thing I feel like I should be doing. It’s like I want to project that I’m okay, even though I’m anything but now that she’s here. It’s like my insides are shaking apart. So weird. It’s not supposed to be like this with Alyssa.

She sits in the chair next to me. “I’m so sorry, Ziah. There’s like, no excuse in the world. I mean, anything I tell you will sound like I’m trying not to take responsibility, and all I want is for us to be friends again.”

I nod, determined to keep calm. “It’s like I lost both of you at once.”

“I promise I will never, ever let a guy come between us again.” She wipes a tear. “I never liked him. I was just wasted, and he was there.”

It all still sucks, but I want my friend back more than I want to be mad.

We talk for hours. We talk about her and James and drinking. She tells me how horrible it was, how horrible she’s felt. She tells me that James called her to ask if he could tell me, and she agreed. After a week went by, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything, but it was keeping her up at night. She’s never once felt that way about James and can’t believe something like that even happened. She hasn’t had a single drink since.

Some things she says make me more angry, and some things make me feel better. Another part of me knows we’ll get past this, and I have things I need to share, too. It’s still awkward, like we’re both tip-toeing around a real conversation even though we’re having this real conversation.

“How’s Lora? Is she still here?” Alyssa asks.

“Taking a semester off college to plan a wedding and get married.” I’m still half in disbelief that she’s putting off college for any amount of time—even though she’s majoring in art history. Seriously.

Alyssa’s surprised expression is exactly what I expected. “I know, right? Lora taking time off school, but…”And I hate admitting this. “They’re really good together.”

Alyssa smiles, and we’re not perfect. But I won’t have to avoid her in school anymore. It’s huge. And Dylan was right. It’s not back to what it was, but it is better. Now James… I’m just not ready to go there yet. And then I wonder why Dylan didn’t want me to talk to James, and part of me hopes he likes me enough to not want to see me with someone else. Wow.

Derrick’s Mercedes screeches to a stop in front of the house, and Lora jumps out of the driver’s side.

“Vista house got a cancellation!” She squeals. “Get ready, we’re heading out!”

“What, now?” I just got home from school and just talked to Alyssa, and…

“Yes!” She runs up the stairs. “Now!”

Alyssa chuckles as Lora grabs my arm. Guess I’m heading up to Vista House.

Fifteen

~ Dylan ~

“Eight ball, corner pocket.” I point to the far hole.

“Yeah, right.” Paul does the fake cough-speak thing in the corner, but I ignore him same as Derrick.

This is a serious competition going on here. I never used to beat my brother in pool, just like I never used to get the best out of him when we fought. Times are changing because this time, he’s going down.

We’ve always been competitive. It’s our thing, and I can tell Derrick knows he’s about to lose by the way he’s studying the table. His phone rings.

“Ignore it,” I tell him. “Hit silence. You’re not distracting me from this shot.”

Derrick takes a couple steps back from the table. “It’s Lora.”

I fight a groan. “And we’re almost done, man. You can call her right back. No way am I letting you screw up this shot.”

Derrick pushes the button on his phone, and I’m silently grateful. Eyeing the ball, I line up the shot and take it. The eight ball cleanly drops into the hole. Please don’t scratch, please don’t scratch.

The white ball bounces off the side and lands in the middle of the table. “Hell, yes!”

Paul walks over and gives me props. Derrick rolls his eyes, but he has a smile on his face. Yeah, that’s right. I’m the man now.

“Good game, little brother.”

I nod at him in reply just as his phone rings again.

“Hey, baby,” he says. “Sorry. Dylan was kicking my ass at pool.”

That makes me smile. My brother might have lost his mind, but he’s still pretty cool. I sit on the table while Derrick talks to his girl. It’s not long before he’s hanging up.

“Lora and Ziah are on their way over. Lora’s stoked because there was a cancellation at Vista House. She wants us all to go up there.”

Damn. Wedding stuff again.

And Ziah. I’m still not sure why I’m thinking all these crazy thoughts about her.

“Come with us, Paul. You’re in the wedding, but you’ve somehow escaped doing anything but the tuxes.” It probably makes me a chicken shit, but I’m actually hoping for a buffer. I can’t start losing my head if Paul’s there.

“That cool?” he asks my brother.

“Absolutely.”

Beep. Beep. Sounds from outside.

“Holy crap. That was no joke.”

We grab our stuff and head upstairs. On the way, I grab my hoodie in case I need it. I have a long sleeve shirt on, but you never know with the weather here.

Lora’s in the driver’s seat of my brother’s car, which is weird as hell, and Ziah’s heading to the back when we get outside. Paul nudges me, his eyes brows raised as he cocks his head toward her. “I still can’t believe it’s the chick from your party.”

“Shut up,” I mumble. He also wouldn’t believe it if he knew I actually don’t hate being around her anymore. “Hanes, you have to sit in the middle. Last time I rode in the back with Paul, he kept trying to hold my hand.”