Measuring Up

“Hell yes, it’s good! Now gettcha butt on the scale. I have a feeling you’re going to be happy with the results there too.”

Briefly I wonder if he wants to hug me too. Or kiss me. Does he want to celebrate with me the same way I want to with him? I hope so. Trying to focus on the

whole point of this thing, I step onto the scale, watching Tegan’s hand as it slides the weight up and down the scale. What? Am I reading this right?

“160.8. All together you’ve lost five pounds exactly. How does that—umpf!”

This time, I can’t help it. I launch myself at him. Tegan catches me, laughing and hugging. It’s not record-breaking and I know I still have a long way to go, but holy crap. I’ve lost six pounds and over three inches!

“Umm, I guess it feels nice and as nice as you feel, we have an audience.”

I freeze, heat flooding to my cheeks. “Oh, sorry.” I pull away from him. “Was just excited.”

Tegan winks at me. “It’s all good. Come on, let’s go get physical.”

We are nothing but professional for the whole workout. Tegan pushes me through our leg routine today, counting off each of my pushes or pulls and telling me

how good I’m doing. Each time he writes my progress down in his booklet and then we move to the next one.

Is he standing farther away from me than usual? Teasing me less? I’m overreacting. Or am I? Is he upset that I plastered myself against him like I’m a Hillcrest

High elite and he’s Billy Mason?

“Good workout today and seriously, I’m proud of you,” Tegan tells me as we walk to the door. I’m about to tell him thanks and bye when he looks at Supermodel

who I now know as Molly and says, “I’m going to take a break. I’ll be back in ten, okay?”

Oh no. He’s mad. I screwed up and now whatever it was we had going between us is already over. Molly gives him a smile and we walk out. When we get to the

parking lot, I throw my bag into the passenger side and close the door, trying to ignore the fact that I know what’s coming.

Because it is. The saying “it’s too good to be true?” Totally a fact. I lean against my car, crossing my arms like I don’t care. I don’t. I knew this would happen anyway.

Tegan steps closer to me. Close like always, but he looks nervous. “I was thinking and… well, maybe it’s not the best idea for me to be your trainer anymore.”

Chapter Fourteen

MY GIRL

“Oh…” I’m not mad at him, I’m mad at me. At the ache in my chest and the fact that even though I said I expected this, it’s broken something inside me. “Okay.”

I turn and try to get into my car which I realize is about the stupidest thing I can do considering it’s the passenger side. I don’t get far anyway because Tegan stops me.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Is he for real? Like I’m going to sit here while he rattles off a list of why we can’t be together or throws the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line my way. “Home. No need to explain. I understand.”

“Um, I’m glad you do, because I don’t.” Tegan turns me around so I’m facing him again.

“You don’t have to do that. I get it. I expected it. I…” You know what? I can’t do this. It’s not right or not fair. “Actually, I’m pissed. You pretend to like me and then one hug in front of your gym buddies and Supermodel and I’m out the door? Whatever.”

“Huh?” he looks at me confused. “I’m not breaking it off with you… You think I would do that because you hugged me?”

He’s not breaking up with me. Best news ever! “I just thought.”

“That’s not me, A

wouldn’t have done that.”

My cheeks are hot. Why can’t I stop thinking the worst? “Then what do you mean?”

He steps closer, his legs on the outside of mine as his hands grab my waist. I should pull away, but I can’t. “I’m not breaking up with you. I’m not mad you

hugged me. Actually, I would have liked to do even more with you, but I can’t do that here…while you’re my client. I need this job too much, or I would.”

And his mom told him girls are confusing, I’m thinking that about boys. “Then why?”

Tegan leans forward, pressing his lips to mine too quickly for my taste. “Because.” Another kiss. “You’re.” Oh, one more. “My girl.” Two kisses this time. “And

it doesn’t feel right for you to pay me for us to work out together. Because I want to be able to kiss you when I want and I can’t do that if you’re my client.”

At least I think that’s what he said. I’m not sure I caught anything after him telling me I’m his girl. “I am? Your girl, I mean?”

He gives my waist a squeeze and I suck in my stomach. “I thought so, unless you’re only using me for my make-out abilities.”

“You’re so—“

“Conceited. I know. But you like it.”

But as much as I like how that sounds, how I want to really be with Tegan, thinking about what he said leaves a hole in my chest. I’m not sure I can do this

without him. “But what about the money? I know you’re saving up to help with college and to help your mom and stuff.”

Tegan freezes, his eyes hard on me in a way I’ve never seen them. “I don’t want your money. If that’s what you think this is about, then we’re on a different page here.”

I’m such a jerk. I insult the one person who’s been nothing but nice to me. Not letting myself be afraid of his reaction, I grab his shirt and pull him back to me. It feels good, this whole control thing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just…” He doesn’t give me the easy way out, but stands here waiting to hear what I say. “I don’t know if I can do it without you.”

Tegan sighs. “Don’t say stuff like that. You don’t need me for anything. This…this is all you. But, I never said you had to do it without me. It’s up to you. You want another trainer, I’ll hook you up. If not, I am a professional, you know. I can do the same stuff with you if you’re not a client that I do now. We can keep jogging together. When we work out here, we’ll do it when I’m off the clock and we’ll work out together. It’s not like we can’t still use the scales and stuff, so basically it will be the same except you will be my girl working out with me instead of my client who pays me and also happens to kiss me.”

The break inside me starts to heal, the heaviness sprouting wings and flying away. This, I can handle. This, I actually like. “Okay. That makes sense. I don’t want anyone else, though. I want you.”

Tegan smiles. “That’s a good thing, because I want you too.” Then his face turns serious for a minute. “This is new for me too. It might not seem like it, but it is.

I’m not used to being with a girl who I really care about. I hope you know that… that I’m not with you because of what you have or don’t have. I’m with you because I like you…the way I feel when I’m with you.”

For the second time. It’s my lips that find his. “I like you too.”

***

I have a boyfriend. A hot boyfriend, but also one that’s… pretty incredible too.

I’m still in shock the next day when Em comes over. She has a rare day with no classes and we’ve decided to spend it together. Of course, she doesn’t know I

have other options and I feel like the worst friend in world for not telling her, but I know her. She won’t understand and I’m already in a state of disbelief that I’m scared her pessimism will make me doubt what’s happening.

Which makes me an even worse friend. Who calls their bestie pessimistic? And she would understand and be happy for me, wouldn’t she? I wonder how I would

feel if it were her. If after years of it only being the two of us, how I would feel if she suddenly had a boyfriend and guess what? My crappy friend status is raised a notch because I would be jealous. But I would also be worried about her, which I know is how she’ll feel about me. Right now, I don’t want worry. I just want happy.