Masquerade

“Hasn’t been that long.”

“Of course you speak when I start in with the sexual i

Maddox puts his cigarette out on the concrete, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a mint, and pops it into his mouth. “What are you doing out here, Bee?”

Still sitting on the bike, I let go of the handles so I’m straight. “I would have thought that was pretty obvious.” I pause for a few seconds, then add, “The drawing was incredible, Scratch.”

He rubs a hand across the dark brown stubble on his face, then smiles cockily. “I know.”

An unwelcome warmth spreads through me. Damn he’s gorgeous. “Then why are we out here?”

“You know why.”

Yeah, yeah, I do. Because he’s like me. It’s hard to open yourself up for people. I wonder if he also fears that people who are important to him won’t like what they see. “You knew it would be hard going into it. Before you gave it to her—hell, when you drew it—but you did it anyway. That’s something.” Something I wouldn’t do. All Maddox has is Laney and he tries to be there for her. I have a whole family of people who love me and I run away from them. Guilt ignites a wildfire that scorches through me.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah.” He’s staring at me with those deep gray eyes of his. My skin savors the feel of them on me but my brain makes me turn away. It’s too much, especially knowing I like his gaze there.

“You looked like you were getting along well with them—Laney and Cheye

His change of subject is surprising and welcoming at the same time. “She’s cool. I like her. I didn’t go to school when I was younger, so I didn’t really hang out with a lot of girls in high school. I lived in a wealthy area and most of the girls weren’t too into hanging out with the chick who had her nose pierced and didn’t date guys but had sex.”

Two things spar for my attention at once. First, I told him something about myself. The words had come out without a thought. The second is that for the first time, I feel a little embarrassed about my past. It’s not that I’ve slept with a ton of guys. But I’ve never been an angel either. It’s not something that has ever bothered me but I don’t want Maddox to think I sleep around. Why does it matter? There’s nothing wrong with safely enjoying my sexuality.

It’s not like we didn’t meet trying to have a one-night stand anyway. Whatever he thinks about me is probably already engraved into his mind.

“Not that there were a lot of men—”

“Holy shit.” Maddox pushes to his feet.

“What?”

Within a couple strides, he’s reached me. His right hand comes toward me and cups my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

“You’re blushing. I thought you were too bad-ass to blush.”

I smile. “I know lots of good tricks.”

“Don’t do that.”

Maddox hasn’t lowered his hand, so I pull back. “Do what?”

“Feel like you have to make excuses. It’s like you said the first night, there’s nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants. And I can tell you’re not the type of person to sleep with everyone you meet.”

Person. I love that he said person and not woman.

“I worry about you, Leila, I mean, Bee. I don’t want you to get hurt or wake up one day and regret where you are. You’re such a beautiful, smart young woman. You could have anything. Your sister has someone she’d like to introduce you to. We could go shopping and get your hair done. I think you’d be so happy if you met a nice boy…”

If I could do anything, what was wrong with picking to be a tattoo artist? Did my happiness revolve around meeting a nice guy? Being like everyone else in my family? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except that it’s not me.

But then Mom had hugged me. Hugged me and told me she loved me. And it only made me question love more. How can you love someone you want to change? I know she wishes I was that girl who wants nothing more than to meet a nice guy. The girl she probably thinks I would be if she’d raised me.

“Where’d you go?” Maddox’s voice breaks through my thoughts. He has his finger tilting my chin up so I’m looking at him.

He’s so close that I can see every little detail about him, like the small dimple below his lip that doesn’t show often. I want to rub my cheek against the stubble on his face and feel his lips as they possess mine. “Nowhere…,” whispers past my lips.

“My bike’s too big for you to handle but you look sexy as hell on it.” Maddox leans closer. “Mmm, I wish I could see your ink.”

He might not be a nice boy and I am definitely not the perfect, nice girl but I’ve never wanted him with the burning passion engulfing me right now. Before I have the chance to kiss him, Maddox’s lips come down on mine. Both his hands are cupping my face as I straddle his bike and he kisses the hell out of me. His tongue pushes past my lips, deep inside my mouth like he’s starving for me the same way I’m suddenly starving for him. I’ve never wanted—needed—anyone the way need surges through me right now but he feels too good and tastes too good for me to worry about it.

I’m wishing he was on this bike with me. That we were somewhere else so we could do so much more and he could cure the ache inside me.

Suddenly, he’s pulling away and I’m fighting not to pull him back to me. He doesn’t go far, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear, his mouth only inches from mine.

“We keep ending up this way.” His hand slides away and I wish he’d put it on me again.

“I know.”

“I’ve never…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what the fuck to think about it.”

At that I laugh. Me either. “Your sister’s probably wondering where we are.”

Maddox closes his eyes for a second as though he’s trying to gather himself before he steps back. “Let’s go. I don’t trust you alone with my bike.” When he smiles, I see the dimple again. Then he holds out his hand to help me off the motorcycle, and I let him.

* * *

When we go back inside, Laney gives Maddox a hug and then we all move into the kitchen where I assume we’re about to do the cake. I’m surprised when Adrian pulls out one cupcake with a candle in it. After lighting it, we all sing “Happy Birthday” and then Adrian opens the fridge and pulls out caramel apples for everyone.

Laney looks at him like he had just handed her the world, and then he leans forward and whispers to her, “Such a sweet, Little Ghost.”

Maddox and I stand back from the rest of the group as they talk and laugh with each other. He should be there with them, laughing and talking, but I know he never would be. If I wasn’t here right now, he’d stand back from the group alone.

The urge to reach for him teases me. I don’t let myself follow through. “What’s with the apples?”

Maddox shrugs. “Hell if I know. It’s not the first time he’s given her one.”

My eyes are drawn to them as they stand close. Laney right next to Adrian and Cheye

A strange sort of longing comes out of hiding inside me and I wish it would go away. That’s not me. I don’t want things like this. Hell, Maddox and I can hardly talk to each other about anything important. He doesn’t know much about me at all.

But he knows me… somehow he knows me.

And I like that he does.

“Are you ready to go?” Maddox has leaned over, his mouth next to my ear.

After looking at the group one more time, I tell him, “Yeah… I think so.”

“Laney, we’re going to head out.” Maddox nods toward the door.

“Good seein’ ya again, man.” Colt nods at Maddox as Cheye

My body tenses when she pulls me into a hug. “I think I want another tattoo!”