Masquerade

“Thank you. You’re the only person who’s not giving me a hard time about it. Elliott… he’s had cancer before. He’s okay now, but you never know, right? I think it’s important. I want a piece of him with me all the time and no one understands that.”

I think about the ink on my body. The sunflower, the Gemini, my stars. I remember Mom’s reaction when I came home with my Gemini sign. How she was upset, then made the comment about how at least it was only one and it was small. Little did she know I’d keep going…

Looking up at her again, I tell her, “They don’t have to understand.” Most people don’t.

We’re quiet after that as I continue to engrave Elliott’s name into her. It’s crazy, loving someone like that. I can’t imagine ever doing it myself but I’d never give someone else hell for it. And then… Rex and Melody loved me enough—or they loved the idea of a child enough—to steal for one and that reminds me how possessive the feeling is supposed to be.

It only takes about fifteen minutes to finish her tattoo. Her eyes get teary when I’m finished and this swell of pride blooms in my stomach. This little flash of Mom fills my head, this foreign wish that she got this. That on some level, she didn’t love me because she has to but because she understands me.

It doesn’t take me long to get things cleaned up. I look around online for a little while, check the supplies, and then go back to my chair, drumming my fingernails on the desk.

It’s not strange without Maddox here. It’s not strange without Maddox here. Only it is and that kind of sucks. It’s cool having him to talk to and to come up with tattoo ideas with and, hell, to give him shit. The knife twists in my stomach at the thought. At the strange way I actually miss him.

“I really need to go out and have a good time tonight,” I mumble. My phone rings, my hand shooting out to grab it like I’m expecting an important phone call or something. “Hello?”

“Hi… Bee? This is Laney. Maddox’s sister.”

My heart jumps a little. Maddox isn’t here. If something is wrong, Maddox isn’t here again and that will kill him. “Hey… is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. God, you sound like my brother.” She laughs and I frown. The urge to say, I do not, dances on my tongue, but I ignore it.

“I wanted to tell you I’m having a little get-together for my birthday next weekend. Nothing big or anything. Just Adrian, Cheye

I fight down the instinct to blurt out a no. She’s nice and she’s Maddox’s sister, so I don’t want to be a bitch. And I want to go. At least, I think I want to go. But my thoughts start ru

Besides, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me at this party. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t want to be there either. Not after the other night at his house, and hell, how everything has been between us since we met each other.

“Saturday or Sunday?” That’s not a no. I should be saying no.

“Sunday. You guys are closed, right?”

“Usually, but I actually have someone coming in this Sunday, so I’m not sure if I can make it.”

“Oh.”

There’s no doubt in my mind that she knows I’m lying. I can’t seem to say yes or no, though. “I’ll see what I can do. I’d love to come but it depends on Masquerade, okay? I’ll keep you posted.”

“Okay. I really hope you can make it.” She pauses for a second. “Is my brother there?”

“No. He had to work extra today. Ever since they made him head of security, he’s had to pull some extra shifts.”

This time her pause is so long I wonder if I said something wrong. “Maddy got a promotion?”

Dropping backward, I lean against the back of the seat. Shit. This isn’t my business to be in the middle of. “Yeah, it wasn’t that long ago, though. I’m sure he spaced telling you.”

At that Laney laughs, though it’s not a happy sound. “You don’t have to cover for him. That’s Maddox. He never talks to me about anything. Maybe one day.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, not quite sure why.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “Me too.”

* * *

It’s 11:00 p.m. and I’m standing in front of Lunar, dressed for a night out. A million times I’ve told myself it’s only because I want to go out and Lunar is the only cool place close by. I haven’t decided if it’s the truth or not.

Having a good time is definitely high on my list, though, because I didn’t even bring my car. I want to be able to drink and have fun, so it’s a cab kind of night.

As soon as I step inside, the colored lights flash in my face. The loud music pumps through me, filling me with the urge to dance. My first stop is the bar. Trevor is there like always with two other guys I don’t recognize. There’s a ton of people up here, so while I wait, I fight the urge to look around for Maddox. It doesn’t matter where he is because I’m not here for him.

Trevor glances up and catches my eye. He smiles and I shake my head before he makes it down to me. “Beer?”

“I almost said Cosmo to throw you off, but I can’t drink those things.”

He opens a Corona, pops a lime in, and hands it to me. I hold it up to him before taking a drink.

He says something, but I can’t hear him, so I lean forward. “What?”

“Your man. He’s in the back.”

A shiver rocks through me. Get it together, Bee. “What man? I don’t have one of those.”

“Hmm. I didn’t think you were the type to play games.” His mouth is so close to my ear I feel his breath.

Jerking away from him, I flip Trevor off. “You don’t know me, so don’t pretend you do.” He grins, and I take a couple more drinks of the beer. “And I don’t play games.”

The rest of my beer goes down smoothly and quickly. He’s already handing me another one when I set the bottle on the counter.

“So you’re available?”

Smirking at him, I say, “I didn’t say that either.”

Trevor laughs and shakes his head. “That’s what I thought.”

Before he has the chance to say anything else, I walk away with the beer in hand. I’ll pay for it later. I’m not playing his games tonight. My eyes immediately land on Maddox, leaning against the wall in the back. His arms are crossed, his face tight, and his eyes lasered in on me.

Little bitty explosions feel like they start to go off in my stomach but I ignore them and move through the crowd, straight for him. The whole time I beg the fireworks to slow down but they don’t.

Maddox doesn’t move an inch when I step up in front of him. “He wants you.”

More pops and cracks ignite. “Jealous?” I swallow a drink of the beer.

“Haven’t we had this conversation before?” He’s still not moving and this quiet whisper floats through my brain: Touch me…

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Then he grabs me and pulls me to him. His mouth comes down on mine and that same stupid little whisper says, Finally…

Maddox’s tongue pushes into my mouth and I wrap one of my arms around his neck and bury it in his hair, trying not to spill the beer in my other hand. He turns and my back is suddenly against the wall, my body squeezed between the hard brick and Maddox’s heat. His kiss gets deeper, his body moving against mine, and as stupid as it is, I wish we weren’t here. Masquerade, my house, his house, anywhere but here.

My thoughts start pushing their way through and I gather enough strength to move my hand to Maddox’s chest and shove him far enough away to say, “Don’t kiss me because you’re jealous.”

“You’d rather I did it for other reasons? That’s not what we’re about, remember?”

The words are harsh, tiny lashes across my skin that I didn’t expect. He’s right but it hurts and it’s not supposed to.