Facade

We get out of the car and make our way through the cemetery and over to Ash’s tiny grave. I close my eyes, not wanting to see it, but fuck if I don’t need to for him. I need to do this for my son and I will, so I open them up and kneel on the ground.

I read his name, Ashton Adrian Westfall.

Loving son and nephew.

“I think I overdid it on the As.” I try to laugh, but it doesn’t really work.

“It’s a perfect name,” Delaney replies.

“Yeah… you’re right. I think it is.”

I study his grave some more. “Hey, Ash. It’s… it’s me, Daddy.”

Laney sniffs and I know she’s crying next to me. My eyes are wet, too, one of the tears escaping down my face.

“I miss you. I miss you so much, little man.” I reach out and trace the letters of his name. “And I’m sorry. So sorry I didn’t do better for you, but it was never because I didn’t love you. I’m going to start coming to see you too.”

It’s more than a tear now. It’s like a race to see how many can make it down.

“I won’t let you be lonely anymore, okay? We’ll come all the time and I’ll tell you stories. I’ll write a new one for you every time.”

My ghost’s hand is on my shoulder. She doesn’t interrupt, just lets me talk. I tell my son that at twenty-two I’m going to school next year. That I’m going to work on telling more stories and maybe one day other people will read them. I tell him I was wrong when I told him about the Count. That he isn’t someone to look up to. That I probably never even should have talked to him about it in the first place.

And I tell him everything I do from now on will be for him. How his auntie fights for him and how I want to do the same.

We’re out there for over an hour talking to Ash. To my son.

Each word makes me feel stronger. Better. I know I have a long way to go, but I’ll keep fucking going because he never had the chance. I’ll go for him.

Finally, I stand up. Delaney’s right behind me. “We have to go, little man. I’ll be back soon. I love you.”

She latches her hand with mine and we walk to the car. We drive the few hours back home, to the apartment she used to share with her brother that I now share with her.

Colt’s outside, messing with Chey’s car when we get there.

“Fucking piece of shit,” he says.

I laugh as I walk over to him. “Don’t blame the car because you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Then shut up and help me.” He tosses me a wrench, which I catch.

“I’m going to go upstairs. I’ll see you later,” Delaney says. She leans forward to my ear and whispers, “You did great today. Don’t forget you have to go see Lettie in a couple hours.” She doesn’t pay me for helping her anymore and she still gives me shit the whole time I’m there, but she also cried when I came back. We’ve talked about Ash and I found out she lost a daughter.

I nod and kiss my girl before she goes upstairs and then I lean over to look at the engine.

“You went to see Ash?” Colt asks.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

We’re quiet for a minute, screwing around under the hood of Cheye

“Yeah?” I ask him.

“Yeah,” he replies again.

We keep working on the car. He talks about his mom and I talk about Ash. I think about Delaney upstairs. The woman I fucking love so much it’s crazy. How she’s probably sitting there talking to Colt’s girl, whose like a sister to me. And my best friend standing next to me. My sister back home who I talk to every day.

I realize I’m lucky. There’s an ache inside me that will never go away. I’ll always keep his shirt and always write for him. He’ll always be in my heart and in my head, but I also know I’ll be just fine, with these people in my life, and for him, I’ll be okay.

THE END

Acknowledgments

I have so many people to thank for this that I’m not sure where to begin. First, to my husband. Your support is invaluable. I couldn’t do this without your love, faith, and sacrifices. To my two beautiful little girls for asking about my writing and showing me how proud you are of me. I wish I had been as cool as you are at your age! My mom because you’ve always had faith in me. Thanks for giving me wings and teaching me not to be afraid to fly. Wendy Higgins, I couldn’t do what I do without you. You’re my confidant, my best friend, and the most wonderful critique partner a girl could have. To my other beta readers, Jolene Perry for all your help and Morgan Shamy for brainstorming with me. Big thanks to Allie Bre

About the Author

From a very young age, Nyrae Dawn dreamed of growing up and writing stories. It always felt as if publication were out of her grasp—one of those things that could never happen, so she put her dream on hold.

Nyrae worked in a hospital emergency room, fell in love, and married one of her best friends from high school. In 2004 Nyrae, her husband, and their new baby girl made a move from Oregon to Southern California and that’s when everything changed. As a stay-at-home mom for the first time, her passion for writing flared to life again.

She hasn’t stopped writing ever since.

Nyrae has a love of character-driven stories and emotional journeys. She feels honored to be able to explore those things on a daily basis and get to call it work.

With two incredible daughters, an awesome husband, and her days spent writing what she loves, Nyrae considers herself the luckiest girl in the world. She still resides in su

Nyrae Dawn’s powerful series continues…

See the next page for a preview of

Masquerade.

Masquerade

CHAPTER ONE

~Bee~

It’s almost perfect. The only thing missing as I stand in the middle of Masquerade is the constant buzz of a tattoo gun. After the past few years, it’s my form of comfort. Like a lullaby that sings me to sleep, massaging the tension out of my muscles. But at the same time, it shoots adrenaline into my veins, bringing me happiness—something that’s mine and will always belong to me.

Yes, I need to hurry up and open the doors to my tattoo parlor before I go crazy for that lullaby.

I play the words again in my head: my tattoo parlor. They’re scary as hell and exhilarating at the same time. I’m not sure many twenty-one-year-olds can say they’ve already worked in five shops, but none of those places belonged to me. This one will stick. I’ll stick. I have to, for a lot of reasons. One of them being that despite the fact that it’s my name on all the paperwork for Masquerade, my parents footed the bill.