Facade

“You know you don’t have to do this.” He sits on my bed as I’m putting clothes into the backpack. “I’ll be okay. I’m always okay. Don’t go because you feel bad for me or because—”

“Maybe I’m going for me because I need to get away too.”

He gives me a simple nod and I finish packing my clothes. I move to the bathroom next, gathering my toiletries.

“You need to tell your brother.”

It doesn’t surprise me that Adrian says that. He has every right to hate Maddox since he’s sporting a black eye because of him, but there’s a heart in there. A big heart that cares about people.

“I’ll leave him a note.”

He’s going to freak. I know it, but there’s also no way I would leave without telling him. He’d lose it.

After scrawling a quick letter to Maddox, I’m locking the door behind us. I’ve never in my life done something like this and I’m doing it with Adrian.

The man who doesn’t know his life is a mess because of my father.

Not now. Don’t do this now.

We decide to take my car because it’s in better shape than Adrian’s. I toss him the keys and tell him he can drive. He has to scoot the seat back so he fits well. I’m shaking as I try to buckle my seat belt, my hands jumping so bad I can’t get it in. Adrian touches me. Grabs the belt and clicks it into place.

“Thank you,” he says.

It doesn’t matter that he helped me, not the other way around. I know exactly what he means. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Such a friendly little ghost.” And finally, finally he kisses me again. It’s a possessive kiss, so different from each of the ones he’s given me before. Those felt like they were to prove something, to accomplish something, but as his tongue slow dances with mine, I know this is much more.

Because I’m falling for him. There’s a lot I don’t know about him, but I don’t think that matters. What counts is how I feel and Adrian makes me feel things deep inside in places I didn’t know existed.

And I hope I’m able to reach those places in him too.

Hope that it’s enough to save us.

Chapter Fifteen

~Adrian~

It’s so fucking strange sitting in the car with her. Disappearing with someone else instead of just the secrets that chase me. When I was a kid, I was always by myself. I lived inside my head, inside my words and with books. The older I got, once Angel moved out, the more I realized I needed to hide, so I started hanging out with people, partying, meeting girls. Lots and lots of girls, but it was never something like this.

No one knew about the words that live in my head, begging to spill on paper. About The Count or the bruises or the cries from Mom that will never find their way out of the maze inside my mind. They didn’t know that there were times I needed to disappear… to run before the loneliness inside me threatened to fucking eat me alive. Even the people in my life now, Colt and Cheye

But now this girl is here. She’s beside me as my hands tighten on the steering wheel, because I don’t know what else to do with them. After I called my sister, didn’t speak, and then hung up when she said my name, Delaney’s seeing me run. That’s one of the many things that are mine. That I keep locked inside me because they’re weak and I don’t want anyone to see how fucking weak I really am.

I don’t want her or anyone else to see those parts of me… but I’m also glad she’s here. There are a million and one different reasons I don’t want to dissect that, but it’s hard to turn off my brain sometimes. “I’m not going to have to worry about your brother putting a fucking APB out on us or something, am I?” Talking is better than thinking. I have more control over what comes out of my mouth than what goes on inside my head.

The little ghost laughs. “Honestly? Maybe. No, he won’t go to the cops. Can’t since I’m eighteen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks he can hunt me down himself.”

I think about Angel and what I would have done if she took off with some guy. I can’t blame him. “That’s cool…”

Another laugh. She’s nervous. Not scared, I don’t think, but unsure.

“If you say so. He has this hero complex. Maddy thinks he has to take responsibility for everything—or at least me. Ever since…”

Her words die off. Sadness bleeds into her features, her eyes looking down. I don’t like to see the look there. She’s too fucking beautiful to be so tortured.

“He lets you call him that? Maddy?”

My question seems to chase some of the sadness away. It feels good, being a bodyguard against her ghosts. I’m shocked when her hand smacks my arm.

“Don’t even!” she says. “There’s nothing wrong with calling him that, though I know he agrees with you on that one. Didn’t your sister—I mean, if you have one—didn’t she ever have a nickname for you?”

The question brings back the past I try too hard to forget.

“What were you thinking, Shakespeare?! You are supposed to get out of here. That’s why I took you in—so you could have a life!”

“I know. I fucked up. Don’t you think I know that?”

I don’t know why a memory of Angel being mad at me is what I pull out. Hell, it’s one of the only times I think Angel ever really got mad at me. My brain shuts down before I go any deeper into that train of thought.

“Nah,” I tell Laney. “I only have one sister and we weren’t really that close.” The words sting my tongue, making me feel like shit because she’s the only person in my life besides Ash who ever loved me.

“Oh.” She looks at me, the sadness creeping in again. “That’s too bad… I don’t know what I would do without Maddox. I bet your sister feels the same way about you.”

The way she says it, the sureness in her voice makes me want to believe her, but I can’t. Not when I’ve done nothing but fuck things up and cause pain. “Maybe once, Little Ghost, but not anymore.”

I flinch slightly when she reaches over and grabs the hand I let fall from the steering wheel. She holds it lightly at first, and then with strength. I’ve never held hands with a girl in my life. It’s not really my thing but I let her hold mine. Eventually, I even squeeze back.

* * *

We drive until around six, until my life feels far enough behind me to muffle the voices inside.

It’s already dark outside and the temperatures are dropping. “Wa

“Sure.”

I don’t even know the name of the town sitting off the freeway. It’s here when I need it, so I take the next exit. “What about food? You need to eat?” I probably should have thought of that earlier, but I’m not used to being with anyone else on these little trips.

“It’s the only cure I’ve found to quiet my stomach growling.”

I laugh. “Smart-ass. You should have told me you were hungry. I would have stopped.”

In the dark, I see her head turn toward me, then back to the window. “It felt good to drive. I didn’t want to stop either.”

There’s a strange sort of magic to her voice, that finds all the cracks, all the slivers in my armor and works its way through. I want her out, want to get her out of my system any way I can. To purge until she’s gone if I have to, but… fuck if I don’t like having her in there too. If I don’t want to binge on her until there’s nothing else there because the storm inside me doesn’t feel as fierce when that magic in her voice speaks to me.

I probably should, but I don’t reply to what she said. “Where do you want to eat? I’m not sure how many options there are.” A few places are scattered around, a De