Left Drowning

“Your body is fucking perfect,” he whispers. “You are so beautiful.”

He steps closer, and I whimper as I feel him brush against me. “Chris, please.”

“This is what you want?” he asks while he kneads his hands into my back. “I want you to be sure.”

I take his head in my hands and make him look at me. “I am.”

He gives me the hottest look I’ve ever seen in my life. “God, I want you so much.”

“Show me,” I pant as I wrap my legs around him.

We’re looking at each other as the head of his cock moves into me.

I’m so worked up and so frantic, but then he holds still. “Oh God, please don’t stop,” I beg.

He puts his hand on the side of my face. “Baby, breathe for me. I don’t want to hurt you at all.”

He’s right. I am inadvertently holding my breath, and my whole body is tight with eagerness. I nod and make the lower half of my body, at least, relax. I look at Chris and nod again. As I exhale, he eases a little farther inside me, and it’s all I can do not to lose my mind. He’s barely moving, and I can tell he’s concerned about being gentle. But I’m not. I lean back more and lift up my hips so that I take him in farther. There is some piece of me that’s aware this does hurt, but mostly all I feel is that I want more. When I put my foot on the dresser and lift up higher, Chris gasps and bites his lip as he moves deeper into me. We hold still just for a second and watch each other, both of us breathing hard and trying to control ourselves. But then I tell him, “More. I want more.”

He smiles and leans into me. “You’re all right?”

I lower and lift up again as my answer.

“Whatever you want, baby.” When he puts an arm around my lower back, pulling me close and pushing himself deep inside me, I groan so loudly that I’m pretty sure I’ve caused him hearing loss. I love the feel of his hand on my back, the way he’s supporting my body as he moves out and then enters me again.

“Jesus, you are so hot,” he breathes.

I move my hands to his hips and lift my mouth to his. It’s so hard to speak now, but I tell him, “Then fuck me harder.” After having lived so long without the desire for touch, for sensation of any kind really, I’m finally compensating. I want to feel him as completely as possible. I kiss him once and pull on his waist to press myself against him so that he is all the way inside me.

Chris starts to slide in and out a little faster, staying deep when he goes in and then pulling out almost entirely. Each time he enters me sets off another wave of my hunger for him. I feel absolutely out of control, but for once it’s in the best way possible because it’s the most natural sense of exhilaration I’ve ever had.

Just when I am really starting to feel sore, he slows and changes the tone of our lovemaking. He embraces me tightly, and we kiss until we are drowning in each other and ca

He’s breathing hard into my ear, and by the rasp in his voice as he says my name, I know that it’s my turn to get to listen to him come. He drops one hand from my back to steady himself on the dresser as he moves faster and harder, building to his orgasm. His grip on my back gets stronger, and he pulls me as close to him as possible. I am transfixed by the way he starts to groan and slow down, thrusting involuntarily as shudders overtake him.

His mouth is on my neck, his tongue soft and beautiful as he kisses me everywhere he can reach. Then one hand cradles my face while his lips find mine, and he is sensual, and soft, and slow as we come back down.

We linger, sharing the moment, until he slowly pulls out but does not take his hands from me. “God, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I just … Fuck, I just couldn’t stop. I’ve never … been like that.” Hearing him struggle for words is awesome. “So … lost in it.”

He starts kissing me again, and I groan as he moves his tongue against mine.

Finally we come up for air. “Yes, I’m more than okay. That was … amazing.”

He shakes his head a bit. “This was not at all how I envisioned you losing your virginity.”

I tip my head to the side and smile. “Oh, I see. So you envisioned me losing my virginity?”

“Well, I mean … “

“And did you happen to be a part of this vision?”

“Um … I might have, uh, thought about …” He clears his throat. “Obviously we have a certain chemistry, and …”

I put him out of his misery and kiss him again. “I am not complaining at all. Did you think I’d want flowers scattered on the bed and candles everywhere?”

Chris traces his finger across my lips. “No, but this was maybe a little rushed. I should have been … more careful with you.”

“You gave me exactly what I wanted.”

He lowers his head to my shoulder and pulls aside the thin strap of my top with his teeth. “No, I was too out of control.”

I shiver as he teases my skin with his tongue. “You don’t like being out of control, do you?” I murmur.

He laughs lightly. “Not really.”

“Well, I liked it.”

He laughs again. “I’m glad.”

Something occurs to me. Something not sexy at all. “Oh hell. I’m not bleeding, am I?”

Chris takes half a step back, and he rolls his eyes when I hold up his chin so that he can’t look. I peek down and then touch my hand to myself. “Thank God.”

“No?” he asks and immediately steps closer to me and nuzzles my neck.

“No. Then I really would have had to tip the housekeeper big.”

“You’re going to have to tip her big anyway, I think.”

There! I knew we could fuck and not be weird about it. We’re still us. I tangle my fingers in his hair. “Hey, Chris?”

“Mmm?”

I feel his teeth graze my shoulder again, and it takes me a second to ask him what I wanted. “What the hell are you doing back in Madison? Hawaii sounded like it was going great.”

“Oh. That. Don’t tell Sabin that I told you this. He has a court date so we’d pla

“What the hell? For what?’

“That idiot got himself a DUI last summer. He’d be really embarrassed if you knew, so don’t say anything.”

“I won’t. He’s not going to jail or anything, is he?” I am momentarily pulled from my post-sex bliss, and I’m worried.

“No, no. Nothing like that. I promise. He hasn’t been able to drive since then, though.”

Now that Chris says this, I realize that I’ve never seen Sabin drive. It’s always been Chris, Estelle, or Eric.

His hands are drifting over me and even this light contact between us is already arousing me again more than I can believe.

A small sound escapes my lips. I can’t help it. The feel of his touch melts me.

“And what are you doing here?” he asks.

“Just … I had enough time at home.”

He frowns. “You all right?”

“Yes. It was mostly really good. But some shit went down with James and … I’ll tell you about it later. Everything is going to be fine, though.”

He relaxes. “Good.” Chris’s hand on the back of my thigh is going to make me explode. He’s quiet for a moment as he nuzzles into me. “I still think that I have to make this up to you. We need to go slower. A lot slower.”

He lifts me up into his arms and moves us to the bed, setting me down gently. I stare in near awe while he pulls off his shirt. He is so fucking beautiful. His ripped chest is tan and even more mesmerizing than the last time I’d seen him without a shirt. “You ready?” His flirtatious smile kills me.

Unable to answer him, I nod.

I put my hands around his neck and watch while he moves on top of me. “I have a lot of other things to do you, but first I need to be inside you the way I should have been the first time.” He takes his cock in his hand and rubs it against me. I am still soaked from coming, and he covers himself in my wetness. We both groan softly while he does this, and when he touches himself to my clit, I gasp.