Whisper to Me

Rachel shot me a warning look. She was so determined to keep that part of herself that Nate had told me about hidden from her best friend. We’d been home less than a month, and already Rachel’s secrets were piling up. But this was one I was willing to keep, if only to be spared any details. Hell, I’d keep this secret for life if she’d asked me.

“Does that mean you’re finally giving in to your lustful feelings for a certain someone?” Rachel said in a playful voice.

Dakota’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

“Who are we talking about here?” I said. It had better not be Shane. I couldn’t help my defensive instinct from kicking in, despite my sister rolling her eyes. I waited for her You’ve-been-gone-for-three-years-and-I’ve-done-just-fine speech, but it never came.

“No one. Rachel’s just trying to cause trouble,” Dakota said in a strained voice. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course. I’m just messing with you, asshead,” Rachel said. “But maybe you should be the one dating your co-worker.”

“Not my type,” Dakota said, and then settled back just as the movie resumed playing. Dakota hadn’t done much dating of her own lately, at least not that I’d seen. She’d always had a boyfriend in high school and even in her first year of college. She was usually with nerdy and smart dudes, so the fact that she wouldn’t be with this accountant surprised me.

Rachel grabbed the remote and paused the movie. “What makes you think he’s my type?”

“You’ve always liked those bulky sports guys,” Dakota said, and I felt my stomach flip over. “Like Miles. And he doesn’t seem to be doing anything for you anymore. Not that I blame you.”

Rachel’s cheeks turned pink and she mumbled, “I honestly don’t know what I like anymore.”

“So maybe it’s time for a change,” Dakota said. “Andrew is smart and good-looking. You might like him, if you gave him half a chance.”

“No thanks,” Rachel said again, grabbing a handful of popcorn. “I’ve kept mostly to myself the last couple of years. It’s been working okay for me.”

“Yeah?” Dakota raised her eyebrows. “Whenever I checked in, you were always going to a frat party or some kind of game. So I figured you were at least scouting out future prospects.”

“Which reminds me,” I said, in an effort to change the subject from Rachel’s conquests. I wasn’t sure how she was going to talk her way out of that one. Besides, I needed to say something before it was way too late. “I talked to Nate the other day.”

“Nate . . . as in our cousin Nate?” Dakota said as confusion stretched across her brow.

“Yeah. We’ve been talking quite a bit, actually,” I said. No way did I want Dakota to be surprised at the next family gathering if we seemed overly chummy. “He goes to TSU with Rachel.”

“How did I not know this information?” she said as her eyes snapped to Rachel. “Do you know him?”

“Yep. From around campus,” Rachel said, and then subtly narrowed her eyes at me. “He’s a cool guy. I only recently figured out that he was your cousin.”

“Anyway,” I said. “He’s thinking about driving down to the Manic Tour at the Artisan Music Center. It’s five acts including the Black Tresses, which you know is my favorite band of all time.”

A moment of panic passed through Rachel eyes. Little did she realize what was coming. I was only working up to it.

“When’s the show?” Dakota asked.

“Weekend after next, and I already told Stu not to schedule me,” I said. “The thing is, I already have two pavilion tickets, because I was hoping to talk Shane into going with me.”

“And?” Rachel said, looking confused.

“And”—I took a deep breath—“Nate asked if he could bring some friends from school. Said they’d drive up together and get lawn seats.”

The Artisan Music Center provided outdoor seating on the lawn for concerts. It was a distance away from the stage, but you could spread out blankets and party with your friends under the stars while listening to the music. The pavilion seats were close to the stage and required special-access passes. So I figured I could party with Nate and his friends on the lawn, and then move to the pavilion when my favorite band got to the stage.

“Which friends?” Rachel asked, her voice a bit quivery. She knew what was imminent.

“Your friends,” I said, almost too quietly, like if I’d spoken any louder, she might have throttled me. “Some dude named Be

“So Avery and Ella and Qui

“Those names sound familiar, yeah,” I said. “It’ll be cool.” I was essentially trying to let her know that her secret was safe with me.

We had a silent conversation with our eyes, her telling me that she wasn’t nearly as confident as I had been.

“You mean I’ll finally get to meet your friends?” Dakota said, clapping her hands. “They weren’t around the weekend I visited.”

Rachel’s gaze flew to mine again. I hadn’t realized she had ditched her friends when my sister had come around. Honestly, I thought she was making this a bigger deal than she needed to. Unless there was something I was missing.

She had fooled around with dudes to get her needs met, and even though the thought of it turned my stomach, it was pretty clear that she shouldn’t be crucified for it.

So why was she being so hard on herself?

“I’ll order our lawn tickets online tomorrow,” Dakota said.

Rachel hit play and turned up the volume on the movie, as if to drown out her thoughts.

Chapter Fifteen Rachel

I lay in bed staring at a dark ceiling, knowing that sleep would not be coming anytime soon. My two worlds were about to collide. Fuck me.

But what’s the worst that could happen? Avery and Ella would find out that I’d been hiding things about my past. That they knew virtually nothing about me, especially not that I had suffered a near-fatal brain injury.

Or that my boyfriend had dumped me immediately after.

I had stretched the truth with Avery and Ella when it came to what had happened between Miles and me. Stretched it far and wide. Once the story had left my lips, I’d kept up the act and played the part. I’d regretted lying then, and I despised it even more now. Loathed how far I had strayed away from my true self. And now it was about to come back to bite me in the ass.

And I deserved it. Plain and simple.

I had carelessly told them over a few beers that Miles and I had gotten engaged, when all it had been was a stupid juvenile promise ring. A cheap silver band that had been lost forever after the accident. I told them that I broke it off and decided to attend TSU instead, while he remained on a basketball scholarship at CSU. At least that part had been true.

But I also alluded to the idea that I hadn’t been with anybody else in so long that I was making up for lost time. When really I was just hoping to do whatever the hell I wanted without getting close to anyone. And that would have been well and good. Hell, they probably would have even accepted as much. It was through half-truths that I had resurrected around me a house of cards. One strong wind and it would implode.

Damn, what a fucking mess. What in the hell had gotten into me? I didn’t like the person I’d become. I wasn’t sure how anyone else had, either.

And the one thought that was really keeping me awake tonight was—what the hell would Dakota think?

Dakota had always been a stable dater and had a collection of respectable ex-boyfriends. Would she accept that her best friend had existed suspended above a crevice built entirely upon falsehoods, just to escape reality for a while? Would she reach out and offer a hand, or allow me to crumble in the flimsily-constructed fabrication of my own making?

I thought I’d been shedding my old skin, when in reality, I’d only been hardening the one I’d worn my entire life.