Before You Break

“Great game, Qui

After exiting the bus in the college lot, I hopped in my car and followed the guys to the bar for a quick drink. I sat at my usual stool near the door so I could make a quick escape when my teammates got too stupid and drunk. Joel was there, at a table near the window with Jimmy, but Ella was nowhere in sight. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t feel like going home with blue balls again tonight.

I hadn’t taken a leak since the begi

I waited impatiently against the wall, tapping my foot to the rock music blaring from the speakers, because the bathroom was occupied. The door swung open and I straightened as Ella emerged into the dimly lit space. I wasn’t expecting to see her and my breath caught at about the same time as hers. Heat lapped at my neck as my body instantly reacted to her.

“Hey, Qui

“Hey,” I said trying to keep my eyes leveled on her face. But they kept swimming down to her full breasts and round hips. God, she looked hot in that baseball shirt. Even better if it had qui

“I never thanked you for the other night,” she said, breaking eye contact with me. A faint shade of pink stretched across her cheeks. “I kind of fell asleep on you.”

“Not a problem, Ella.” I noticed how snugly her jeans fit her shape, how she’d folded up the ragged bottoms to reveal her tiny red Converse kicks. Damn, she was cute.

“I should probably be embarrassed,” she said.

My gaze traveled up her neck to her dark hair as I tried getting my thoughts in working order. “About what?”

She lifted her face and our gazes locked. Her blue eyes were mesmerizing.

“Seriously? I was hanging over the toilet. Wearing practically nothing.” Her eyes widened like she hadn’t meant to say that last bit and as soon as my gaze sca

I was surprised how affected she was by me, and I felt the urge to move closer so I could inhale her almond shampoo or lotion or whatever scent I’d smelled the other night. Warm and soothing and all kinds of sexy.

“Nothing at all to be embarrassed about.” I took a step forward and noticed how she held her breath and curled her hands into tighter balls. How she looked at my lips and then at my eyes.

Then I heard a familiar voice. One I hadn’t been expecting. “Qui

I squinted down the hall and saw Amber standing there, shifting on the balls of her feet. What the hell? No way had she ever tried to show up any place I’d been other than my baseball games.

“Gotta go,” I said to Ella and stalked down the hall, swiping right by Amber.

“Wait.” Amber followed me through the bar and out the door to my car.

I kept my back to her and picked up my pace. “What in the hell do you want from me?”

“Please, talk to me,” she muttered. “Damn it, just give me one minute of your time!”

I turned to look at her, my fingers gripping my car keys. There was desperation in her voice. I’d heard that tone before. Whenever she and Sebastian had a fight. When she wanted to talk about what had transpired that night. When she called my cell incessantly the month after.

“Fine. Go for it,” I said, leaning against my car door. “Although I’m not really sure what there is to talk about.”

“I want to talk about what happened that night.” I felt my whole body tense. It was enough to lie awake at night thinking about it. But to discuss it openly with her again? Hadn’t we been through all of this already? I just wanted to shake her.

“What the hell about it? Just get it out already.” I tossed my hands in the air. “You obviously have something huge to say.”

She took a deep breath. “It wasn’t our fault, Qui

“No, you’re right, it wasn’t our fault.” I used my fingers for emphasis. “Just my fault. Mine and mine alone.”

“Qui

I wanted to say she was right to blame me. That I was paying for it every day. But I decided to let her talk—get it out—so I could leave already.

“I can’t help the feelings that I had for you. And I know you had them for me, too.” She looked me in the eye and I didn’t deny it. “I . . . I need someone to talk to about everything that happened. You’re the only one who understands.”

“We’ve already rehashed that night, Amber.” I folded my arms across my chest, maybe in an effort to protect my heart. “How many damn times can we do this? I need to move on.”

“But that’s just it. You’re not moving on. You’re . . . living his life. Not yours.” She looked over my shoulder to my car. “What about your love of cars, your plan to own a shop someday?”

My fingers brushed against my 1966 Chevy Chevelle. She was black and sleek and the one thing I owned that I cherished the most. I’d helped my Uncle Nick build her from the ground up. Now I regretted sharing that with Amber. She was throwing it back in my face.

“Things change.” Whenever I’d stayed at Aunt Gabby’s house, I’d wander into the garage and watch Uncle Nick work. Pretty soon I was holding a wrench and he was teaching me how rebuild an engine or customize a paint job. My father bought my car off of Uncle Nick for my sixteenth birthday, after I begged him repeatedly. But I wasn’t allowed to drive her until I went off to college. Dad didn’t want me getting any crazy ideas in my head about being a broke, blue-collar business owner. He’d been thrilled when I’d applied to TSU to become a business major. I focused back on Amber’s face. “Dreams change.”

“Not really. You tell yourself that they do.” Her finger jabbed at my chest for emphasis. “That you need to pay your dues. That you owe him. But you don’t.”

I placed my hands on her shoulders to show her I meant business. “Don’t do this, Amber.”

Tears were streaming down her face, and she clung to my shirt for support. I felt terrible that she was such a wreck, so I pulled her against me and held her, rubbing her back in small circles.

“I need you, Qui

I became rigid and then pushed away from her. She always knew how to twist the screw. How to manipulate me. I was naïve and inexperienced back then. She knew Sebastian was pulling away from her, so she went after me instead.

Probably because she wanted to make Sebastian jealous. And I fell for her. Fell damn hard for her.

“No, Amber. I won’t go there with you. Not anymore,” I spit out. “Go find someone else to fuck around with.”

Then I wrenched open my door, cranked the key in the ignition, and pushed down on the gas. When I looked in my rearview mirror, she stood staring after me.

Chapter Seven

Ella

I had my script ready to go at my desk. It was a slow night, which didn’t happen that often. Usually the weeks preceding a holiday like Easter were the worst. They triggered all kinds of expectations and memories for people. But on su