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She snapped her fingers and motioned to the cushion beside her. “Details now, asshead.”

I moseyed toward the couch with a full bowl and propped my knee on the arm of the chair.

“I was struggling to make it to the bathroom,” I said around a mouthful of cereal. Raisin Bran never tasted so damn good. “He kind of helped me. Even wet a washcloth for me.”

“Seriously?” she asked, one eyebrow arched. “I can tell you’re holding something back. Spill.”

“It’s just . . .” I huffed out a breath. “It was a strange night. He stayed in the bathroom with me and we kind of . . . talked.”

She twisted her bottom lip, calling bullshit. My trademark tell. “That’s all that happened?”

“Of course,” I said, after gulping some milk from my bowl. “Do you think I’d actually cheat on Joel? Besides, it wasn’t like that. It was sweet.”

“Oh, I trust you. It’s the other guy I’m not sure about,” she said folding her arms. “It’s just that you sound kinda breathy talking about Qui

“Yeah, like that’d be possible.” It actually might have been possible, but I wasn’t going to tell Avery that. “It was embarrassing.”

Then my hands felt all clammy. “Know what else was humiliating?”

Avery went back to wiggling her pink toes. “What?”

“I only had on a T-shirt and underwear and I pretty much flashed him my ass a few times,” I said, setting my bowl on the counter. “And not on purpose.”

“Oh, I bet he got an eyeful. I wish I had your ass, girl.” Then her mouth drew into a thin line. “Did he try anything with you?”

“No way. That’s the sweet part. He told me to pull my shirt down and even pulled it down once for me,” I said, plopping down on a kitchen barstool. “Said he didn’t want to leave me in the bathroom alone with all the horny guys in the house.”

“Really?” Avery said, dipping her head back to look at me. “Qui

“He also said some stuff about Joel.” Shoot. Why had I let that slip out? Joel was already on Avery’s shit list for acting like a douche the last few weeks.

She twisted to give me her full attention. “What did he say?”

My voice came out sounding strangled. Even I didn’t want to admit it out loud. “He . . . kind of said that Joel wasn’t that great of a boyfriend because he was passed out in the next room.”

She aimed her nail file at me. “He’s got a point, you know.”

“I know how you feel about Joel,” I griped. “We’ve definitely got stuff to work out. It wasn’t always like this.”

“I’ll admit I liked him at the begi

I rinsed my bowl in the sink, feeling full and satiated. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Girl, you might be loyal to a fault. You need to take care of you.”

“I know,” I said, pulling down the dishwasher drawer.

“Out of all of us, you have your head screwed on straight,” she said. “The way you worked through what happened with your brother . . .”

She stared at the wall, contemplating her next words. I leaned again the counter, wondering where she was going with this. Avery knew me better than anyone, outside of my family.

“I know I rag on you for your psycho bullshit, but I realize you take it seriously. And it’s helped you work through stuff.”

“Which reminds me . . .” I pushed off the counter and then plopped down on the cushy chair across from Avery. “There was a guy who called the hotline last night.”

I laid my head against the arm of the chair, thinking about Daniel. “He reminded me of Christopher.”

“Sometimes I wonder if the hotline is such a good idea,” Avery said. “For Christ’s sake, you had a brother who committed suicide in high school, Ella. Don’t be such a fucking martyr.”

My hand absently ran over the dragonfly tattoo that Avery’s boyfriend, Be





“You’re wrong, Avery,” I said, raising my head. On this fact I was emphatic. “Working there has been so rewarding. I want . . . I need to help people.”

“Okay. Okay,” she said, lifting her hands. We’d had this discussion too many times to count. “I should know better than to argue mental health with you. I’m way out of my league.”

A key scraped in the door, and I knew it was Be

Or Qui

Where in the hell had that thought come from?

His height, his muscled forearms from baseball, his fit stomach and calves. I had always noticed him peripherally, but being in that bathroom with him had given me a more solid perspective of him. Not physically speaking, because I couldn’t see him. But I certainly could feel him. His presence. He had a quiet kind of intensity that made me feel safe and warm.

In all the wrong places.

Joel was thin, without an ounce of fat on him. And it wasn’t that I was fat, but I had hips and breasts and wished my stomach were as flat as Avery’s. If I worked out like she did, I might get rid of it, but I’d never been one to love physical exertion.

I’d also never been one to care about body type, but there was just something so appealing about Qui

“Hi, Ella.” Be

Avery pulled away, breathless. And then gave me a devilish grin. “What do you know about Qui

I shot her a dirty look.

“The dude who plays baseball for TSU?” Be

My stomach twisted at his words. Crap. I hadn’t thought of that. She did like her jocks, and she wasn’t choosy.

Avery gave Be

Be

Nate was Be

“No thanks. I am not on some mission to find out more about Qui

I realized Joel probably didn’t know a whole lot about Qui

Chapter Six

Qui

The bleachers were begi

Bastian and I would practice for hours at Miller Park in our neighborhood after high school ball games. His fastball had probably been the best in the state, had even earned him a scholarship. I’d had to work a bit harder to earn my position on the team. I never had the kind of heart and natural talent for the game that he did.

Truth be told, there was a time that I would’ve rather been under the hood of a car than on a dusty field. It’s not like baseball wasn’t in my blood. It definitely was. The sound of the bat cracking, the murmur of the crowd as the ball hung midair over the outfield. You had to like baseball to play it so damn much.