Before You Break

Yet sexy as sin.

I tried to cha

I wanted to tug that lip into my mouth and suck on it long and hard. She looked down at her feet, a line of red creeping up her neck as if she could read my thoughts. As though she wouldn’t object to what I had in mind, either.

I needed to rein in my goddamn imagination before I did something irrational, and who better to help me with that than fucking Joel. He walked in the room holding a beer in one hand and a CD in the other. I looked away as my stomach clenched tight.

“Babe, weren’t you ru

“Oops, got too caught up gaming. Okay, I’m out.” Ella threw one last demure grin in my direction before hopping up. And I latched on to that smile like it was my goddamn lifeline or something. “Be back soon.”

Fifteen minutes later, five cars full of sorority sisters showed up blaring pop music from their speakers. They were loud and rowdy as they put the finishing touches on the huge signs they’d made to hold up on both corners of the street. They wore bikini tops and short shorts and would have no problems getting boatloads of cars to pull in and donate money to our cause.

And ironically enough, the charity the fraternity had chosen to donate to was a fucking national foundation to combat child and adult depression. So maybe we’d be contributing directly to Gabby’s salary after today.

The car wash always took place in the parking lot next to the frat house so there was room to spread out. I gathered up my buckets and towels and then came back to yank the hoses over there.

The next thing I knew the car wash was under way and cars were lined up around the corner waiting to pull in. I was so busy getting buckets filled with soapy water that I hadn’t noticed that Ella had returned with her two friends.

One was a petite blond with a tight little body. She was dating the tattoo artist all the guys in our frat used. They’d pushed me to get a tattoo also, but there was nothing I’d want stamped on my body except maybe something that reminded me of Sebastian. But then I’d have a literal daily reminder of my guilt. Not that I wasn’t reminded every day anyway.

Besides, I wasn’t worthy enough to wear his name anywhere on my body, especially since I was the one who had taken his life. What scumbag would do such a thing? Did murderers on death row wear the tattoos of their victims, for Christ’s sake?

Now I wondered if Ella had gotten her ankle tattoo from him. Be

Ella’s legs looked a mile long in those tiny cutoffs she wore. The straps of her black bikini top peeked out from under her pink tank and I wondered if she’d take off her top when she got hot enough. I imagined how she’d look standing in front of me in nothing but those damn skimpy shorts. Fuck, I was attracted to that girl.

Her hair was pulled up in a messy kind of bun and my fingers itched to reach up and release her brown waves. Our eyes met across the parking lot as I was soaping up a car bumper and I nodded at her to be polite. But she didn’t give me one of her secret smiles again. Her blond friend eyed me, too, and then looked back at Ella with a smirk. Had Ella told her friend what’d gone down in the bathroom between us?

Joel certainly hadn’t said a word, so I figured it had stayed between us.

And even if Joel had, I would’ve given him an earful about always being blitzed out of his mind when his girlfriend was around.

Joel stood behind Ella with his arms locked around her waist, yet he made sure to eye every chick in a bikini top. What an ass. Ella had to notice how he ogled other girls, and either didn’t care or didn’t care enough. Which was it, Ella?

Or maybe she was more insecure than I’d given her credit for. Why else would she put up with that shit?

Soon enough I got lost in the mind-numbing car wash assembly line. I was on wash detail and Ella was rinsing the cars with Joel. Her blond friend was helping with the cash drawer and Rachel had gone up front with a poster to flash her nice tits to the passing cars.

I heard a high-pitched squeal and looked in Ella’s direction. Joel had the hose pointed at some of the girls and before they could scatter, he started spraying. He got Ella in the face and her clothes became soaked. She manhandled the hose out of his hands with a couple of other girls and got him back good. Her laugh was infectious and I found myself listening for its sound as I continued to work.

Fantasizing about Ella was stupid, but it also let me forget for a little while. I was pretty damn sure I could easily get lost in that girl. And some days that was all that I wanted. But it wasn’t what I needed. And neither did she. Not with someone like me.

We were ru

I heard the screen door creak open at the top of the stairs, letting in a sliver of sunlight. Ella came bounding down the steps wringing out her tank top, too busy to notice me. She stood in front of the bathroom door and lifted her wet shirt over her head. I saw the smooth skin of her back, her delicate neckline, and how the baby hairs from her bun had gotten tangled in the knot of her black bikini top.

All I could think about was sliding my hand down the soft skin above her shorts, on the small of her back. I stepped closer and cleared my throat so she’d know she wasn’t alone.

She turned toward me, eyes wide.

“My bad,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse. “Sorry if I scared you.”

Her tits looked fucking amazing in that bikini top and I couldn’t help my jaw from hanging open as I tried to reign in my dirty thoughts.

She stood stock-still as my eyes roamed over her body.

Like she welcomed it. Wanted it. Needed it.

Her breaths became harsher and when my eyes met hers, she held me there, transfixed. I couldn’t have looked anywhere else even if I’d tried.

“You always seem to catch me in some state of undress,” she mumbled.

I moved nearer and noticed how water had beaded in her cleavage. I imagined my tongue lapping up each drop and my hard-on strained against my zipper.

“I’m not much better this time,” I said referring to my shirtless torso and wet cutoffs.

Her eyes skated over my shoulders, down my chest, to the front of my shorts. If she hadn’t had a clue how much she’d affected me, she would now.

Gazes pi

The air between us was charged. It was obvious and imposing. My knees quivered as my urge to hold her amplified. To press my nose along her collarbone and taste her skin.

Ella was biting her lip so hard, I wondered if she’d draw blood.

Looking into her bright-blue eyes, I noticed her dark and thick lashes, the pretty rose color splashed across her cheeks, and the dainty hoop earrings she wore in her ears.

Both of our fists clenched tight, it was as if time stood still. Waiting on something to happen. For one of us to make a move. For someone to walk in and spot us huddled so closely together.