Coming Home

She could feel Da

It was five after seven. The alarm was set for eight, but she knew there was no way she’d be able to go back to sleep now.

Leah rolled slowly under his arm, careful not to jostle him as she turned to face him. He always looked so beautiful when he slept—so peaceful—and she found herself fighting the urge to touch his face, his lips, his jaw.

And then suddenly, an image of Da

But the floodgates had opened.

Image after image of Da

She opened her eyes quickly, not wanting to see any more, and she was greeted with his beautiful face, i

She felt her composure slipping rapidly, and Leah struggled to get out of bed as quickly as possible without disturbing him. She pressed her lips together as her vision blurred, and just as she slunk out from beneath his arm, she felt the first round of tears spill over.

Leah padded over to the bathroom quickly, shutting the door softly behind her before she ran to turn the water on in the shower. As soon as the sound of rushing water filled the room, she slumped to the floor, burying her mouth against the crook of her elbow as she burst into tears.

Violent sobs racked her body, and she curled in on herself, gasping for air as she tried with all her might to keep the sounds muffled against her arm. She couldn’t let him hear this. She had told him she was strong enough to take care of herself, that he didn’t need to worry about her.

She wanted so badly for that to be true.

When Leah gained some semblance of control—when the ferocious sobbing subsided into pathetic little hiccups and sighs, she stood up and climbed into the shower, standing under the stream with her eyes closed as she replayed every beautiful moment from the night before in an effort to calm herself down. Every word, every touch, every smile. And then she remembered waking frantically several times throughout the night, reaching out for him in a panic, and her heart sank.

It killed him, seeing her suffer because of him. She knew it did. She’d heard it in his voice. And she couldn’t allow him to see that level of weakness again. She would not let him carry that burden.

And just like that, Leah felt her resolve click into place.

She opened her eyes, allowing the last of her tears to run down her face with the water, and then she tilted her head back, letting the warm stream wash the remnants of salt from her cheeks.

She would not cry again. Not today.

Today she would be strong for him. He needed to see that she was okay. He needed to leave knowing everything back home would be fine.

Leah finished her shower, stepping out onto the bath mat and wrapping herself in a towel before she walked to the mirror and swiped her hand across it, erasing the fog.

“Shit,” she whispered as her face was revealed in the glass. Her eyes were bloodshot and extremely swollen; there was no way this would go u

She ran the cold water full blast, grabbing a washcloth and tossing it into the sink. Once it was saturated, she tilted her head back and laid the freezing cloth over her eyes.

After a few minutes, she tossed the rag back into the sink and sifted through her makeup case until she found some eye drops, blinking quickly as they stung her tender eyes.

Once her vision had cleared, she leaned close to the mirror, checking her reflection again.

Better, but still not great.

“Leah?”

Da

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

She cleared her throat gently. “Yep, just drying off,” she said, keeping her voice as smooth as possible. “I’ll be out in a second.”

Leah grabbed her brush and ran it through her wet hair before securing the towel around her body and taking one last look in the mirror.

It was as good as it was going to get.

She took a deep breath before she turned and opened the door, walking back toward the bedroom.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down, and when he heard her come into the room, he lifted his head and smiled.

“I didn’t expect you to be up,” he said as he stood and walked toward her. Leah watched his smile fade as he got closer, finally noticing her eyes.

“I know, I look like hell,” she said, forcing a tiny laugh as she rolled her eyes and gestured toward herself. “This is what happens when I don’t get a full night’s sleep.”

“Leah,” he said, and she unraveled her towel, bringing it to her hair as she squeezed it dry.

It was a cheap move, and she knew it, but she was desperate.

His expression smoothed as his eyes dropped to take in her now naked body, and Leah turned and walked toward her dresser, sifting though one of her drawers for a bra and underwear.

“Do you want me to make you banana pancakes for breakfast?” she asked, turning to look back over her shoulder.

“Hmm?” he asked, peeling his eyes from her body and bringing them to her face.

She smiled softly. “I said, do you want me to make you banana pancakes for breakfast?”

“I can just grab something easy. You don’t have to cook.”

Leah fastened her bra behind her back as she walked over to him. “I want to,” she said, going up on her toes and kissing his mouth before she said, “Go take a shower. They’ll be ready by the time you’re done.”

Leah turned from the room then, and as soon as she made it into the kitchen, she gripped the edge of the counter and bowed her head, exhaling a trembling breath.

After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and straightened, gathering the things she’d need to make him breakfast. By the time Da

“It smells amazing in here,” he said, kissing her cheek before he took a seat at the table. “Oh, and Leah?”

“Yeah?” she asked as she sat across from him.

“I won’t ask you about this morning. You can get dressed now.”

Her eyes flashed to his, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Very well played, though. I can’t deny you that.”

Leah stared at him, and as his dimples grew more defined, she felt the corners of her own mouth turn up.

They ate breakfast slowly and in relative silence, both of them seemingly lost in their own thoughts, and after cleaning up, they went back to Leah’s bedroom to get dressed.

Leah zipped up the black pencil skirt she had paired with a green capped-sleeve silk blouse. Just as she was checking herself in the mirror, Da

It was the first time she’d seen him dressed up like that, and it killed her that it was under these circumstances. He looked so incredibly handsome, and she wanted to be celebrating something with him—holding him and laughing with him and posing for pictures.

Not fighting tears as the nausea rolled through her.

“It really does look beautiful,” he said, adjusting the knot of his tie.

“What does?” she asked softly.

“The necklace.”

She brought her hand up to it as he added, “And I meant what I said last night.”

Leah’s eyes found his in the mirror as her lips curved into a delicate smile. “I know you did.”