Emancipating Andie

Chase looked down again. “In South Carolina. The night we watched Dumb and Dumber.”

“What!” she shrieked, ripping her purse from her arm and slamming it down on the table in the entryway, sending her forgotten keys scattering across the floor with a metallic clattering sound. “How dare you! You went through my computer?”

“No, no,” he said, holding his palms up in surrender, his eyes full of remorse and a touch of panic. “When the movie was over, I turned off the player, and you had left the document open…and I just…I read the page that was open and then…I just kept going.”

An awkward silence prevailed as he trailed off uneasily, and embarrassment started to win out over the fury surging through her. She hadn’t ever thought anyone would read what she wrote; she had composed it with that mentality. Her pipe dream was to be published, but the truth was, she felt like what she had written was extremely private. He was staring at her, obviously waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t speak. Instead she stood staring at him, at the only person who had really seen inside her mind, terrified of what he was thinking.

“Why aren’t you taking yourself seriously?” he asked, and Andie froze, completely taken off guard. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again without saying anything, and he shook his head slightly. “Why are you wasting away in that restaurant when it’s so obvious this is what you were meant to do?”

She continued to stare at him, completely at a loss for words, and he closed his eyes, frustrated by her silence. “You don’t even get it, Andie. You don’t see the world the way other people do. And when you let your guard down, the way you think, the way you say things…you make people look at things differently. You make people feel things. And I just…” He trailed off, ru

“Finish it, Andie,” he finally said, looking up and meeting her eyes. “Just…be proud of what you’re doing and finish it.”

Andie swallowed, her eyes stinging slightly. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the fact that her emotions had been on overdrive for two weeks, but his encouragement, his approval, made her feel like she would burst into tears. It was the first time she felt like what she was doing was real.

“Say something,” he said.

She blinked, looking away from him. She didn’t know what to say. How could she express what she was feeling without sounding overly emotional or saying something she’d regret? Uncertainty and vodka and longing and guilt and gratitude and desire swam through her system, a heady mixture that made her feel completely incompetent.

Chase exhaled heavily and closed his eyes. “You know what bothered me about your book?”

Her stomach dropped as she realized the rug was about to be pulled out from underneath her. “What?” she said, her voice so soft she wasn’t even sure he’d heard her.

“Your main character. She’s so ridiculously self-aware. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and exactly what she needs.” He took a step toward her. “She doesn’t wait for anyone’s approval. She sees so clearly what the best things for her are, and then she makes those things happen.”

“What’s your point?” Andie whispered.

“She’s you!” Chase shouted, startling her. “Jesus Christ, Andie, she’s you! You made her. You write what she thinks, what she feels, what she wants, what she believes. Don’t pretend that’s not you!”

All the breath left Andie in a rush, and she brought her other hand up to the doorjamb, steadying herself. She had never felt so utterly exposed and vulnerable in her entire life.

“Chase,” she stammered.

He took a step forward, composing himself, his voice softer but his eyes significantly more intense. “Why do you hide? Why can’t you just be brave and do what you want instead of what you think you’re supposed to do?”

Andie looked at him, and suddenly they weren’t talking about her book anymore, and they both knew it. She shook her head quickly, breaking eye contact, because she was terrified of what would happen if she didn’t.

“Chase, I can’t live the way you do.”

Suddenly his fingers were under her chin, lifting her face as he leaned in toward her, and for a breathless second, Andie thought he might kiss her.

“Have you ever even tried?” he asked softly, his warm breath washing over her lips, and then suddenly he was gone. Andie stumbled forward slightly at the loss of contact, her skin now feeling cold where his fingers had touched her only moments before. Her eyes focused just in time to see him thrust his hands into his pockets and disappear down the stairs.

That night Andie sat upright on her couch, fighting sleep for as long as she could, because she knew exactly what would happen the second she fell into unconsciousness. But the day had been too long, and as the three shots of vodka gradually had their way with her, she lost the battle.

It started a little differently tonight.

Andie walked into the wine cellar, and as she approached the nearest wall of wine, she heard the door slam shut behind her. She turned around to see Chase staring at her, and she smiled at him. “I’m sorry,” she said, and then all at once he was up against her, pressing her into the door behind her.

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered. But suddenly, it wasn’t Chase. It was him. And they weren’t in the wine cellar; they were in the upstairs bathroom of the homecoming party. And he was kissing her neck. And even then, amid the unease that was begi

Derek O’Do

And every single girl in the school.

Andie watched him from afar, like every other ordinary girl. She had often heard him referred to as a “ladies’ man” by the adults in the building, but Andie knew that was an understatement. Girls threw themselves at him, girls that were older and more beautiful and more experienced than Andie. He was the untouchable dream. And Andie was infatuated.

Her mother once found a notebook of hers on which she’d drawn a huge heart with their names in the center. The rest of the cover had been decorated with the words I love Derek in all different sizes, styles, and colors.

“That boy’s too old for you,” her mother had said, tapping the book firmly with her index finger.

“No he’s not,” Andie had protested softly. “He’s in high school, just like me.”

Andie’s mother shook her head firmly, spi

Andie had rolled her eyes at the warning. It didn’t even matter; it wasn’t like she’d ever have a chance with him anyway.

And then came that Thursday afternoon when he approached her after volleyball practice.

She stood there like a deer in headlights, absolutely stu

She begged Tracey to go with her, finally managing to convince her after a long struggle, even though Tracey told her that Derek was a “man-whore who probably just wanted to get into her pants.”