From Ashes

“Darlin’, I’m so, so—” His voice gave out on the last word and his forehead dropped into the crook of my neck.

I put pressure against his chest again and I felt him shake his head.

“Please don’t. Stop trying to push me away, Cassidy.” Gage sounded so pained, my breath caught and my hands stopped pushing, and I started clenching his shirt in my fists. “I love you.” He brought a hand up to my cheek and leaned his head in, pressing his full lips, soft as a feather, to my injured eye.

I tried to back away, but his arm tight around my waist kept me in place.

“I’m not them,” he said after he silently held me for a few more minutes. “I’ll never be them, darlin’. I saw it—” Gage’s voice hitched and he had to clear his throat. “I saw the fear in your eyes, Cass. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now, but if it were me, all I would be thinking about is them . . . what they did to you, and what I—what I just did. Damn it, I’m so sorry.” His arm around my waist tightened momentarily and his head went back to my neck.

With his forehead pressed into my throat, I could feel his hot breath against my chest, and then something light and wet was there. My body stilled and I focused completely on Gage. My arms had subconsciously wound themselves around his broad shoulders at some point and I could feel the tension and slight shudders in the muscles of his back. Before I could force myself to relax and run my hand along his back to soothe the rigid way he was holding himself, I felt that light wetness on my chest again, twice. I unlocked my body and wound my hands through his hair to bring his head away from my neck, glancing down at my chest for barely a moment before looking into Gage’s tortured, wet eyes.

Gage was crying.

Oh. My. God.

I’d seen him furious, I’d seen him bursting with joy, I’d seen him crushed, and I’d seen the love flowing freely from him as he looked at me. But I’d never once seen Gage Carson cry.

“Please, let me take you home and take care of you.” His voice was even deeper and huskier than usual.

If not for the emotional situation, I’m positive it would have sent a shot of desire straight through me. As it was, my body was now covered in goose bumps, and all I could do was nod my head.

HOURS LATER, I lay awake staring at the ceiling fan going slowly around and around in the living room. Gage and I hadn’t spoken a word to each other since he asked to take me home. When we’d gotten back to the town house, he’d gone straight to the bathroom to grab some Advil, then joined me in the kitchen. After I took a few and pressed the ice pack Gage made me to my face, he’d taken my hand and led me to the bedroom. And for the first time since we became us, I’d gotten ready for bed alone. He’d grabbed the mesh shorts he liked to sleep in during the hot months and walked into the bathroom to take a shower, shutting the door behind him and only opening it when he was coming back out to get in bed.

Before I could let myself get even more upset over this, I’d forced myself into the bathroom, gotten ready for bed, and walked into the bedroom, fully prepared to leave it and go to the other one. But Gage was sitting up in bed staring at me with that odd expression again, and when he noticed my body angled toward the door, he crawled off the bed, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back onto it with him, curling my small frame into his large one. With a few soft kisses to my neck and shoulder, he slowly slipped into sleep, and after a couple hours of not even being able to think of going to sleep, I quietly snuck out of bed and into the living room. I hadn’t moved since.

My phone vibrated and I frowned as I glanced down at it. It was almost three in the morning; who on earth was texting me this early? When I saw Tyler’s name, I almost didn’t read it, but with nothing else to do, and seeing as it was only a text, I opened it anyway.

TYLER

Cassi, are you up?! Has your mom called???

Mom? Why would she be calling me? I haven’t talked to her in . . . in . . . hell, I can’t even remember. Was it my birthday right after I moved here?

Um . . . no? Why?

TYLER

Can I call?

I skipped a step and called him instead; he answered on the first ring.

“She and Jeff haven’t called you?” was his greeting.

“No,” I said softly, and walked into the guest room to further prevent waking Gage. “What’s going on, Ty? I know we haven’t talked in months, but you know I don’t talk to them. Like, ever.”

“Cassi, sweetheart, my dad just called . . . their house caught fire. So bad it spread to the houses on each side.”

“Oh God! Ty, did it get to your parents’ house too?” There was only one house between mine and Ty’s; I prayed it didn’t get that far.

“No, no. The firefighters got it contained before it could. It didn’t do too much damage to the houses on either side, but, Cassi, your house is gone.”

A gasp escaped my throat, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why . . . other than shock that a fire could spread so quickly that a house that size would just be gone. Then again, there was a hell of a lot of liquor in that house.

“Are you okay, sweetheart? Dad said they tried calling your mom but she . . .”

“Ty,” I said when he didn’t continue, “what aren’t you telling me?”

“Her car was still there.” I could hear him shutting a door and heard the sound of jingling keys. “I just packed a bag, I’m on my way to come get you. Can you pack for me real quick, Cass?”

“Wait, pack? Why?”

“Cassi, trust me, I hated your mom and Jeff just as much as you, but your house was just burned to the ground, and as far as anyone knows, they were both in there. For multiple reasons, the main being you’re their only family, you need to be there.”

“Oh, right.” My voice sounded soft but was strangely calm. “I’ll start packing right away. Just call when you’re outside. I don’t want to wake Gage.”

“You—what?” He sounded completely baffled, but I didn’t have time to get into it right now.

“Just call me, Ty, I gotta pack.”

After ending the call, I flew into action, thanking God we’d kept all my clothes in the spare bedroom. I don’t know why I never moved them into Gage’s room; it was just something that never came up. Once my bag was stuffed, I tiptoed back into Gage’s room and into the bathroom, grabbing all the toiletries I would need for a while. Ty called seconds after I’d zipped my bag shut, and within another two minutes, I was in his Jeep.

“Dad got us a flight that’s leaving in a few hours,” he said quietly as he turned onto another street. “You okay, Cassi?”

“I’m fine, I feel—” I cut myself off, not wanting him to know what I’d been thinking since he told me about the fire, but then his hand curled around mine and I couldn’t hold it back. “I feel guilty. Because I should be upset, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why, but, Ty, I’m . . . I’m . . . I feel—like it’s justice. I feel like I’m getting some sort of sick revenge, and that house, God, that house is gone, Ty. There are so many bad memories there.”

“I know.” His hand squeezed mine as he drove us toward the airport. “Don’t feel guilty, Cassi, I know she’s your mother, but she’s not your mom. She hasn’t done anything in over a dozen years to deserve your love or your sympathy.”

“I just feel like I should be upset by this somehow, but I can’t find it in me. Not right now anyway.”

Tyler nodded like he understood, and his voice dropped lower. “How’s your eye?”

“It’s fine. Really, it didn’t hurt much at all, it was just the shock of it happening, and seeing Gage like that was ju—” I stopped quickly.

“And why didn’t you want him to wake up? You didn’t want to tell him you’re leaving?” When I didn’t respond he nodded again and stayed quiet for a few easy minutes before adding quietly, “I know I’ve fucked up bad, sweetheart, but I have never closed that window. Since we were seven, that window has been open, and it will always be open. No matter what.”