Taking Chances

I heard sighs of relief when I walked down the stairs and immediately went into Mom's arms, then Chase's grandmother's. Claire's mom had decided to stay with us for a while, I just hadn't realized she was still here. I apologized for hiding from them and promised to start living and taking care of myself. Once again, I’d failed to think of everyone else, I had only been concerned with my own hurt. We all sat around the kitchen table talking while Mom kept shoving pieces of fruit my way. I really wasn't hungry, but I knew she was worried so I kept eating everything that was set in front of me. Konrad walked in an hour later and after a lingering kiss to Bree, he hugged the rest of us and patted my stomach. I'd forgotten he was living here now too. After the accident, he'd decided not to go back to Oregon. From his wet hair, I'm guessing he'd just gotten back from working out and showering.

“You guys ready to go?” He asked, pulling Bree up from the chair.

“We're going somewhere?” I tried not to frown, they were all right, I needed to get out.

“Just having a day out, you girls need it.”

Bree and I looked at each other and started walking for the door. Mom and Nana had their own day out pla

Other than the music that was turned down low, the car ride to the beach was completely silent. We trudged towards the shore, Bree and I continued walking until we were a few feet from the tide while Konrad and Brandon set down the blanket and stood waiting for when we came back.

“I'm sorry I checked out Bree, I haven't even asked how you're doing since the funeral.”

“I'm dealing,” she sniffed and wiped at her cheeks, “you?”

I thought about that for a few minutes, “I'm really not sure. I thought I preferred being numb, but I can't live that way forever. Even after this short time since you and Brandon rescued me, I can see how bad it would be for me to continue on like that.”

“Chase wouldn't want us to be like this.” she grabbed my hand and echoed Brandon's words from earlier, “It's going to hurt for a long time, probably forever, but you know he'd kick our asses if all we did was sulk.”

I cried out a small laugh and squeezed her hand tighter.

“We need to try to move on Harper, for him.”

“Then that's what we'll do.” I sighed.

Konrad took Bree for a walk when we joined back up, and I settled onto the blanket with Brandon.

“Brandon?”

“Hmm?”

“Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here?”

His face fell slightly, “Do you want me to leave?”

“No. No, of course not. But you should be in Arizona, you should be dating again. Not here comforting the girl that broke your heart.”

“I told you last weekend –”

“I know what you said, but I can't be anything more than your friend Brandon. You should be out finding someone that will make you happy.”

“Harper.” He sighed and lay back on the blanket, one arm behind his head, the other draped across his stomach where his shirt had ridden up.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you being here, but I can't do this to you.”

“If you don't want me around, then I'll leave Harper. But not because you think you're holding me back from something.”

“What about Arizona? What about your mom and Jeremy? You need to go home.”

He glanced over at me, then back to the sky, “I was going to tell you that morning in the kitchen, before the day went to hell. They moved out here to be closer to my Dad's side of the family.”

“So they're here in San Diego?”

“Carlsbad. Mom bought a house and shipped everything here over the last month, once Jeremy's school year ended, they moved.”

“Oh.”

“Look Harper, if all you want from me is a friend, then that's what I'll be. But you need me, I'm not going anywhere.”

I leaned back on my elbows and closed my eyes, letting the rays soak into my skin, “I need you to live your own life.” I whispered.

“I am.” he rolled over and got on his knees, leaning over me. “This is where I want to be, I need you too.”

He softly kissed his way from my forehead, to my temple, to my cheek and finally my neck before his whole body went rigid and he sucked in an audible breath. Getting up, he shrugged out of his shirt and started toward the ocean. I tried not to look at him, but my eyes betrayed me. While he walked towards the water I admired the muscles that stretched across his strong shoulders and arms. He was far enough away now that I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw some more tattoos, and frowned when I saw a large bruise on his waist spreading to his back. Not that I had a right to know anything about his life anymore, but I hadn't known he started again. I'd never asked him to stop fighting when we were together, but I think my freak out after the fight that had landed him in the hospital had pushed him to quit. After walking out a ways into the water, he dove under some waves and tread for a few minutes before coming back to shore and the blanket.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.”

I knew what he was apologizing for, though I didn't want him to. I couldn't handle him pressing his lips to me again either, but I hadn't responded to the kisses, and he knew we could only be friends. “For cooling off? You should be, it's hot out today and I don't have a suit.” I turned to look at him, his face was guarded, but his eyes were thankful.

“We can go stand in it, if you want?”

Bree and Konrad were still nowhere in sight, and it was actually really warm today. “Okay.” I stood up and headed out, thankful Bree had picked out shorts for me today, that way I could go in a little further without soaking my clothes. “Oh my God, it's freezing!” I screeched and back away. “I change my mind, it's not that hot out.”

Brandon grabbed my hand before I could make it far and slowly pulled me back into the water. I squealed again when it hit my ankle but bit the inside of my cheek and kept going.

“Still bad?” He gri

My teeth chattered and I nodded my head vigorously, I started to wrap my arms around my waist when I felt something, “Ha! I don't think he likes it much either.”

“What's he doing?”

“Come here.” I put one of Brandon's hands on my stomach and watched his face over my shoulder. His strong chest and abs were pressed against my side and I allowed myself to relax into him. My gummy bear continued on his kick boxing lesson for a few minutes, and I smiled at feeling him move inside me. I'd been so out of it, I hadn't even been paying attention to if he moved.

Brandon continued to stare at my growing belly, his hand slowly moving so the kick hit perfectly into his hand each time. “I think you're wrong.” He said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“I'll bet he's happy you're in the water. He's go

“Oh is he now?” I touched the other side of my stomach and spoke, “Hate to burst your bubble little guy, but Mommy doesn't know how to surf. Sorry.”

“I'll teach him.”

My heart kicked up in pace, this conversation with the way we were positioned was now too intimate. Brandon must have realized it as well because he dropped his hand and stepped back a few feet.