Taking Chances

I wanted to make up an excuse, say we were wasted and I regretted it, but he needed to know the truth. “I love him too Brandon.”

He flinched and shut his eyes.

“I know I don't deserve this, but would you please not tell him? And if you're going to be angry at someone, please be angry at me. I did this to you.”

“You did this to us Harper.” Slowly standing, he made his way towards the door and opened it, “I won't say anything. I've always known how he felt about you, and if you chose him, then there's nothing for me to be mad at him for. But I need you to leave. Now, please.”

He wouldn't look at me as I left, just held the door with a tight, shaking grip and tried to calm his breathing.

“I'm so sorry.” I whispered before leaving.

~~~

I glanced up, surprised to see we were already at the restaurant. “Well...here goes nothing.”

“How do you think she's going to take it?” Bree ran a hand through her short blonde hair.

“Ha. I was hoping you'd tell me.”

“Uh, no. This is the one situation I haven't known what to expect.”

I looked at her in horror, “What if she hates me? What if they kick me out Bree?”

“They wouldn't do that to you, and my parents could never hate you. I just don't know how she's going to take it.”

We stopped talking when we walked in and were greeted by the hostess and hugs from Mom.

“Oh, I'm just so excited for the appointment! We'll be able to get a due date, and if you're far enough we can hear the heartbeat!” She was clapping and bouncing.

Aw hell, this was about to all be real. “Is it okay if I'm not exactly thrilled right now?”

“Sure it is honey, but you've already gotten over the hard parts. This is when it gets exciting.”

The waitress took our drink orders and we ordered our food without even looking at the menu. This is where we always came on our girl’s day. We chatted about school, Konrad and Bree, if I pla

“Uh, Mom? I saw the baby's dad today.”

Her mouth formed an O, “Did you tell him?”

“No not yet, I thought I should probably tell you who he is first.”

“Well I don't see why you had to tell me first unless…do I know him?” Her eyes were large and she looked like she was holding her breath.

“Yeah. You could say that.”

Bree tried to cover her laugh with a cough and grabbed her iced tea to take a sip.

Like a band aid Harper, just rip it off. I took a deep breath and blurted out, “It's Chase.”

“Oh thank God!” Claire exclaimed and put a hand over her chest.

Bree spewed out her tea and my jaw dropped, as well as my spoon. “What?!” We screeched in unison.

She shushed us and looked around for a second before leaning over the table, “You have no idea how much of a relief this is.” She held up a hand to stop my question, “My son is in love with you Harper, he has been for a while now. That's why he doesn't come to the house on Sundays anymore. He came to us a month or so ago and said as long as you were with Brandon, he couldn't handle being around you anymore, said it was too hard.”

I swear my jaw dropped even more.

“When you said you were pregnant, I knew he was going to be devastated, but when you told me Brandon wasn't the daddy, I hoped it was Chase's. Don't get me wrong, I wish this wasn't happening to you two while you're so young and not married, but what's done is done. He'd even talked about maybe moving away after graduation. I knew he would do it if he found out you were having a baby, especially with some random guy.”

“Mom! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know I was the reason he wasn't coming around, you must have hated me! Why did you let me move in?”

“Because we love you Harper. Just because he wasn't dealing with it well, doesn't mean Robert and I were going to stop loving you. Even if he did move away, that wouldn't have been your fault. Just his choice.”

“Holy crap.” I huffed and sunk into my seat.

“Ditto.” Bree chimed in.

“Harper sweetie,” Mom began, “You have got to tell him. If he finds out your pregnant from someone and doesn't know it's his. He'll be gone.”

I love him, I don't want him to leave. But his possible leaving has been stopping me all along. Claire was wrong, Chase would know it was his, but he'd still be gone. “He isn't going to want a baby, I can't take him walking away from me. I love him, this baby just proves that, but I'm terrified he will leave me one day. He's always doing that Mom, one day he's in love with me, the next few weeks he refuses to speak to me.”

“He stays away because it kills him to watch you with Brandon. When you would go to his house, he always came to ours so he wouldn't have to see you guys together. I never knew you two had even spoken to each other about this. All he does is talk about you in a way that suggested you didn't know he loved you. He won't leave you, I don't think you realize he's never even spoken about a girl with us, until you showed up last fall.” My face must have shown I didn't believe that, “Regardless if he's ready for a child or not, he's the father, he has to help you.”

“No!” I said a little too loudly and quieted my voice, “No. I want him to want to be with me, I will not force him to endure this with me. My entire life Sir has resented me, I'm not going to go through the rest of it with Chase doing the same.”

“He wouldn't.” Bree cut in.

“He might.” I looked at each of them and said sternly, “I'll tell him soon, but you have to let him make this choice.”

They both agreed and had huge smiles on their faces. I wish I could feel the same. We finished lunch, paid the bill and headed to my first appointment. The first part we sat in the office and spoke with the Doctor, an extremely nice younger lady named Dr. Lowdry.

“When was the first day of your last menstrual period Harper?”

“December twenty ninth.” I said confidently.

“And do you have an idea of when the baby may have been conceived.”

“I do, it was either January twelfth or thirteenth.”

The Doctor grabbed a plastic wheel and moved it around for a minute, “Okay well then your due date should be October fourth, so what do you say we have your first ultrasound? You're practically eight weeks, we'll be able to hear the heartbeat.”

Mom smiled and clapped her hands and Bree looked like she was doing math in her head. We followed her to another room and after changing and positioning myself on the table, the lights were turned off and the ultrasound started. At first all I saw was a gray screen with a dark circle in the middle, then she zoomed in and I saw what looked like a gummy bear on the screen. Mom's breath caught and my eyes widened.

“That's your baby!” Dr. Lowdry said smiling and pressing different buttons. “Let's get some measurements here...yep! I'd say you are seven weeks and six days.”

Oh my word this is real. It's real isn't it? Yep it's real. There's a freaking gummy bear growing in me! I think the Doctor was pointing out the head and arms, but I couldn't listen too much, I was beyond mesmerized by the screen.

“Harper!”

“Huh?”

The three of them laughed, I wonder how long they'd been trying to get my attention.

“Are you ready to hear the heartbeat?”

I looked over at Dr. Lowdry's warm smile and nodded my head. She clicked a button and my entire world changed. We all held our breath as a whooshing noise filled the room. It wasn't what I was expecting, it was really fast and didn't sound like what I thought a heartbeat should sound like, but there was no mistaking that's what it was. Bree grabbed my hand and Claire reached for some tissue to wipe her eyes. I couldn't see the screen anymore and I realized I was crying, so I closed my eyes and listened to the most amazing sound in the world.