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I watched the reflection of the dazzling stranger shake her head. “But Lydia, you don’t understand. I’m not the same as the rest of you. There’s something I…”
“What, your left-handed stunt?”
I waited for a blast of anger. But she gave my hair an affectionate ruffle.
“It doesn’t mean anything, Alexis. The hand on the book—Adrie
Inside my head, my thoughts reeled. I had taken the oath. I was co
“You poor thing,” Lydia said, her voice as sweet as honey. “All this time, you’ve been feeling so alone. But you were one of us all along.”
One of us all along.
I should have been scared, right? Or worried? Angry?
But I just couldn’t make myself feel those things.
“All he wants,” Lydia whispered, “is for you to be the best you can be.”
The thought came to me again: This is what he deserves.
And then a sparkling happiness burst and made my whole body feel radiant and beautiful, brilliant and clean. After a week of being filthy and hideous, it was enough to make me go limp with relief.
Lydia rested her chin on my shoulder. In the mirror, I could see her delighted smile. “Aralt thinks you’re lovely.”
Mom started to turn toward us. “Did you offer Lydia anything to drink?”
Her mouth formed into an O, and she set her wooden spoon down on the counter.
“Hi,” I said.
“Well, honey,” she said. Her eyes went wide and then narrow, like she couldn’t focus.
True, it was more dramatic than Kasey’s gradual transformation had been, but I wouldn’t have thought it was enough to strike a person dumb.
Apparently I was wrong.
“Thank you, Mrs. Warren, but I can’t stay,” Lydia said, daintily popping a single grape into her mouth. “And I know Alexis has di
Mom nodded, still staring at me.
“I’m going to go say good-bye to Kasey,” Lydia said, walking away. I listened to her shoes click click click on the tile floor.
Still, Mom didn’t say a word.
I was sort of afraid she was having a neurological episode or something. “Do you like it?”
“Alexis, I…You look beautiful, but…”
But? There was a but? Throughout my entire high school career, Mom’s fondest wish was that I would somehow find my way back to the social norm—to mall-bought clothes, shiny hair, tasteful makeup.
I’d expected…I don’t know. Squealing. Clapping. Hugs.
Not a but.
“I do. I like it. You’re stu
But again. I took the offensive. “I thought it was time for a change. You know, I’m going to start thinking about college soon and all that. And the photography contest.”
“It’s just so…different,” Mom said. “How long is it going to take you to do that to your hair every day?”
I shrugged. “It’s just a blow-dry.”
She gave me a long appraisal. “You certainly look grown up.”
The glow inside me faded. “I thought you’d be excited.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom came closer and hugged me. “I really am. It’s a bit of a shock, that’s all. And you know there was nothing wrong with you before.”
I pulled away stiffly. “But why not improve? If you can?”
She didn’t have an answer for that. She sighed, then tried to cover it by raising her hands in surrender. “Maybe I just don’t like the idea of my two little girls growing up.”
The polite thing to do was to smile as though she’d made me feel better, so that was what I did—even though she hadn’t. I walked away, feeling self-conscious. It was a relief to turn the corner into the hallway, where I found Lydia and Kasey standing outside the bathroom, talking.
Kasey didn’t look surprised to see me.
“Isn’t she miraculous?” Lydia asked.
“She was fine before,” Kasey said. “But…you do look nice, Lexi.”
I trailed Lydia to the front door, where I could see she’d parked her dad’s red car right in the street, in front of the sidewalk.
“I hope you didn’t get a ticket,” I said.
“A ticket?” She gave me a bemused smile, like she’d never even heard of the word. “You have a lot to learn, Alexis.”
A lot to learn? About Aralt? I fought the urge to ask her what it was that I didn’t know about him. Because now that I knew I was stuck, I found myself intensely curious. It wasn’t, I told myself, that I wasn’t aware of how dangerous it was to get involved with ghosts. Or that I wasn’t committed to ending this whole thing as soon as possible. It was just…
That feeling—that bursting-with-brilliance feeling—I wanted more of it.
“Stay su
Inside, Mom was on the phone. “Oh, here she is,” she said, handing me the receiver. “It’s Carter.”
“Hello?” I glanced at the clock. It was three minutes to seven.
“Hey, Lex.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Listen, I’m really sorry, but I have to cancel tonight. I started making some adjustments to my speech and it kind of unraveled. I can’t stop working now or I’ll be up all night.”
“Oh,” I said, going into my bedroom and closing the door behind me. The shoes Lydia had helped me pick out were sitting on the bed. I swiped them off and sat down. “Do you want another set of ears? I could come over. I can bring di
“That’s sweet,” he said. “But Mom made me a sandwich. And I don’t want to bore you.”
“You wouldn’t bore me,” I said. “It sounds like you need help.”
“No, listen, I’ll be fine,” he said. “I’m working some of the new ideas in, and I think they’re going to really, ah…really make an impression.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” I said.
“Okay, good,” he said. “So I’m pretty busy. I can try to call you later, if you want.”
“If you have time.” What the perfect girlfriend would say. “Otherwise, no worries.”
“All right,” he said.
“So, yeah,” I said. “Bye.”
As I went to hang up the phone, a voice in the background asked, “What did she say?”
It was like the bottom fell out, except it was the sides, the top, and everything else, too. Everything inside me shattered into a thousand pieces.
Because I knew that voice.
It was Zoe’s.
I sat on the bed and let stu
Streaking down my cheeks like ink spilling from a bottle were the lines of coal-colored tears.
After staring at myself and watching fresh, inky-black teardrops bubble out of my eyes, I grabbed a handful of tissues and daubed at them before they could drip onto my shirt. When I pulled the tissues away, they were covered in gray splotches like the ones on Megan’s shirt and my jeans. The occasional thicker patches of color were the same endless black as the goo that had covered the Ouija board.
Instead of leaving the tissues in the trash bin where Kasey might find them, I flushed them down the toilet, then scrubbed at my cheeks until they were clean. When I was done, the washcloth was basically ruined.
If I’d needed a reminder that I was different now, that something else was at work inside of me—inside of all of us—here it was.
Stay su
Because if you don’t, the whole world will know you’re a monster.
I COULD HARDLY SLEEP THAT NIGHT. When my alarm went off thirty minutes earlier than usual, I practically rolled off the side of the bed and trudged to the bathroom. I needed the extra time to do my hair and iron my clothes—but considering how tired I was, it seemed likely that I’d run late anyway.
Surprisingly, the process of getting myself all prettied up was as invigorating as a strong cup of coffee. I finished dressing with plenty of time to spare and slipped on a pair of black flats. Then I thought of what Lydia had said about trust, and put on Mrs. Wiley’s pumps, even though they were two inches higher than the dress code allowed.