As Dead As It Gets

My feet caught on something and I stumbled, reaching out to catch myself. My right hand grazed a tree before I got my balance again, and I lifted a stinging knuckle to my mouth and tasted blood.

“Five minutes,” I croaked into the night. “Please. Just let me stop for five minutes.”

Don’t stop.

And that was when it became clear to me—as clear as anything could be in my foggy mind:

This was no dream.

I was walking. I was searching for someone who was twenty miles away. I wasn’t going to find him, and I wasn’t going to stop—Laina wasn’t going to let me stop—

Until I fell down and died.

I don’t know how much later it was—long enough that I got a cramp in my side and an intense radiating pain in my hip. I ignored them, though, because I had to. I had no choice.

“Alexis!”

I ignored the sound of my name the way I ignored the pain in my abdomen. “Can you hear me?” Yes. “Stop! Stop walking! Listen to me!” Something came between me and the haze. I walked toward it, unable to stop, and ended up walking right through it. My cold body got even colder. “Ow! Stop! Stop moving right now!” I didn’t hear the rest. I was already gone. Another hour passed—or two? Maybe even three. The moon was arcing gently across the sky. My hands were puffy; the skin felt so dry I thought it might peel off. My fingers were fat little sausages, and when they touched each other or the skirt of my dress, they burned, like the flesh was being chafed right off of them.

I would have cried, but my body was so dried out there were no tears left to cry.

Please let me wake up.

Please let me wake up.

Please let me wake up.

But I knew I wasn’t asleep.

SOMETHING STUNG MY ARM. Not that a whole nest of wasps could have stopped me.

I slowed for a moment to dry heave into the roots of a tree, but as soon as I was done, I stood up and started walking again.

Another sting on my arm. Then on my neck. And my face.

Then I realized what the stinging was—

Rain.

Water.

I tried to open my mouth and catch some on my tongue, but my head lolled on my neck, and my tongue felt almost too swollen to get through my lips.

“Stop!” yelled a voice. The same voice as before.

Lydia.

“Stop it right now, Alexis! I mean it—stop walking! Are you trying to die out here?”

But I didn’t stop—I couldn’t.

I was looking for Jared, like Laina had. Except she hadn’t found him in time.

And neither would I.

But Lydia seemed determined not to let that happen.

“Look at me!” she shrieked, right in my face. “Look at me!”

My eyes were open, I was sure of it. But I didn’t see her. Everything was a dull gray haze.

“All right,” she said. “Fine, Alexis. You leave me no choice!”

No choice. I knew all about that.

Something swept through me, like a stiff wind blowing by. I felt a whole-body chill.

It didn’t stop me.

“All right,” she said. “Here I come again.”

Another whoosh went into and out of my body, like air was being propelled through my skin. I got even colder.

“Fourth time’s the charm, right?” She was panting with effort.

If I could control my mouth, I would have told her, This is pointless. You might as well go away. It’s never going to work.

But then the oddest thing happened.

Instead of walking, I was lying on my back. And my eyelids felt as light as helium balloons.

I stared up into the clearest night I’d ever seen.

Lydia stood over me, looking down. She was much fainter than usual—though not as pale as she had been after the encounter with Elliot. Her ghostly gray skin was extra gray, and she looked exhausted. “Are you…are you dead?”

“I don’t know.” I could feel the dry skin in my throat cracking as I spoke. “Am I?”

She sank to the ground next to me. “No, I guess not.”

“Are you?” I asked.

“Well, yeah—but not how you mean.”

“I’m so tired,” I said, starting to let my eyes slide shut again.

“No!” she said. “You can’t go to sleep. Don’t even think about it.”

So I looked up at her instead.

Her black eyes burned down at me. “You have a cell phone in your pocket. It’s off. Can you reach down and turn it on?”

“Not a chance.” The words floated out of my mouth, piggybacking on a shallow exhalation.

“Try.”

I moved my almost lifeless arm, a millimeter at a time, toward my pocket.

I found the phone, and my fingers crawled over the keys, looking for the power button. A second later, the little chime sounded. It filled the air around us like a symphony.

“Now call someone,” Lydia said. “Call nine-one-one.”

No. If I called them, I’d be in the hospital for days, and I couldn’t let that happen. I had something I needed to do.

My finger reached for the keypad, and I found the little groove on the number five, then dialed with my fingers, by touch.

I listened through the night for the ringing. It didn’t come.

Lydia leaned over to look at the phone. “Frack. No signal. You have to walk.”

A dry laugh, almost a snort, burbled out of me.

“I’m serious,” she said. “You have to get up and walk.”

“Yeah, no,” I said.

“Are you forgetting about Kasey?” she asked. “About your sister?”

I blinked.

Kasey was in danger.

Minutes later, I was somehow on my feet, stumbling through the woods behind Lydia, who ducked and scampered around like a wood sprite, checking the path ahead to be sure it was clear.

I don’t know how long I walked before she said, “Here! Over here! There’s a road! Mile marker eighty-seven!”

I got to a point where I could see the break in the trees and sank down, my back against a thick trunk.

I closed my eyes.

“No, Alexis,” Lydia said, waving her hand in my face. “Are you kidding me? No, no, no. Uh-uh. You’re not going to die now. Dial. Call Carter. Right now.”

I turned my head to escape her fingers. “I can’t. I’m too tired.”

“You will,” she said. “You’re going to do it for your sister.”

I lifted the phone and typed in a number.

Then I sent a text message:

vaughn hwy mile 87

The effort drained the last of my energy. The phone plunged out of my hand.

“Nope,” Lydia said. “No sleeping. Wake up.”

I sighed and closed my eyes.

“You have to wake up. I mean, think about it…if you die, I totally win.”

I lifted one eyelid to look at her.

She nodded smugly. “Yeah. Think about what a jerk I am. Think about how I almost sacrificed all of you guys for Aralt. Think about—”

“No,” I whispered. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it was.”

“No,” I said, fighting to keep my eyes open. My lashes kept slipping down like a broken curtain in a theater. “And…I’m sorry I let you die.”

“Let me die?” Lydia sat back and looked at me in disbelief. “Um, if I recall correctly, I was completely kicking your ass. You tried to stop me.” She looked out into the distance. “Alexis, I don’t blame you. I never really did. I was just mad. Mostly…at myself, I think.”

She ripped a handful of grass out of the ground and threw it in frustration. “I am. I’m mad at myself. What a waste of a life. What a waste of a death.”

“No,” I said.

“Yes,” she said, turning to me. “And that’s why you’re not dying tonight. You’re going to rest and drink some electrolytes or something, and not die. Because I’m not watching someone else die for no reason. It’s stupid. It’s the stupidest thing in the world.”

Already, my head was starting to clear. My body was still exhausted, but I wanted to live. She was right. I had to stop Laina and save my sister.

But there was something I needed to say.

“Lydia,” I said, “the reason you feel like you need to protect me is because…every ghost has a power center. And I’m yours. I thought you should know.”