As Dead As It Gets

All of that trickled through my head, but none of it made it out of my mouth. Instead, I said, “Um…okay.”

He smiled. “I wish I could kiss you.”

I was actually really glad he couldn’t.

“Alexis! Who’s this?”

I looked up and saw Haley, who hadn’t so much as said good morning or good night to me since the first night. She was on her way back to the rec room, but she paused in front of us and gave Jared a vivid smile.

“Um, Jared. My…”

“Boyfriend,” Jared said.

Haley’s eyes went as round as basketballs. “Wow, you’re so nice to visit Alexis. I mean, a lot of guys wouldn’t stick around once their girlfriends went…you know.”

“Yes, well, nice to meet you.” Jared turned toward me, angling himself so Haley was talking to the back of his shoulder.

“You too!” Then she toodle-oo’d off through the double doors.

Jared didn’t even seem to notice her leave. “I really mean it. When you get out, everything will be better.”

“I don’t know,” I said. I wasn’t counting my when-I-get-out chickens until they hatched. As far as I was concerned, there weren’t even any when-I-get-out eggs lying around.

His hands squeezed mine. “What we have is special.

And I’m not going to let that go. Yes, I was mad at you that night, Alexis, but that’s because I didn’t understand. And you didn’t understand, either.”

“But why didn’t you ever tell me about her?” I asked.

“You didn’t ask. Besides, the whole thing was, you know, horribly painful. Why would I talk about it?”

Because she was a huge part of your life and she died, maybe? But I didn’t say it. I could hear the tension behind what he was saying. “What didn’t I understand?”

He lowered his voice. “What she’s doing.”

I grabbed my hands away. “What who’s doing? What do you mean?”

He smiled warmly.

“Jared, do you mean you believe me about Laina? You think she’s doing something? Her…” I glanced around. “Her ghost?”

He leaned in close to me, and I couldn’t escape the laser beams of his dark brown eyes. “I think she is, Alexis. I think I figured it out. See—we were supposed to be together forever, her and me.”

I stared at him.

“But that’s never going to happen, right? So here’s what I think: she didn’t want me to be alone.” He reached up and caressed the side of my face. “So she found me you instead.”

I HADN’T FELT THIS AWAKE IN DAYS.

“Wait,” I said. “Laina found me for you?”

“She and I were a couple for two years.” There was a dangerous lightness to his words; Jared’s tone was never light unless he was forcing it to be, which meant that inside, his emotions were churning like a brewing storm. “We didn’t say boyfriend and girlfriend. We said soul mate. We knew we were always going to be together.”

I started to stand up.

“Stay.” He tugged on my hand—hard enough to throw off my less-than-perfect balance. “You would have liked her a lot. She was the best person I ever knew. But then…she died.” The lightness evened out into a horrible calm. “So I guess I needed to find a new soul mate.”

I drew in a shaky breath.

Jared needed someone else to love—and Laina chose me for him.

Did that mean she would do whatever it took for us to be together?

Including murder?

He gave my hand a little shake. “Don’t you see? That’s what she’s doing. She wants us to be together because she loved me so much that she doesn’t want me to be lonely anymore.”

The room began a slow rotation around me. I put my hand out to stop the spi

“It’s like…our destiny,” he whispered. “And she’s trying to help us.”

My words came out like a declaration of surrender. “What does that mean—how is she helping?”

“I think I’d better start at the begi

This is important. I tried to keep eye contact. But it was hard because Jared’s gaze was so glitteringly intense. I had to force myself to stare at the spot right between his eyes.

“We’d been friends since preschool, and then we were in the same classes—except fourth grade—all the way to junior high. Which is when we fell in love. A lot of kids say that and don’t mean anything, but for Laina and me it was real.” He blinked. “Do you believe me?”

I nodded.

Now he was clasping my hand so tightly I couldn’t feel my fingers. “The only tiny thing about Laina was…she was kind of a flirt. So one day when we went out hiking, she was sort of talking to another guy, and I said something about it. Well, she got really mad. Told me she wouldn’t walk another step with me.”

I felt my blood turn cold.

“I didn’t want to leave her. You have to believe me.” Jared’s fingers were wrapped around mine like a vise grip. “But she ordered me to. So I said I’d wait for her in the parking lot.”

I tried to pull away, but Jared wouldn’t let go.

“Two hours later, she’s not there. Three hours, still not there. I got mad. I figured she’d taken a side trail and called her mom to come get her or something. So I went home.” His hand was starting to shake. “I went home. I left her there. And she…she got lost. She ended up off the trail. And she wandered for hours.…It was winter, so it was really cold, and…”

“Please stop.” I didn’t want to hear any more.

“We all went out looking the next day. We combed the park. And I’m the one who found her.”

I knew this part:

She was staring at the sky and holding her Saint Barbara medal.

And as the shadow of a cloud moved off her face…she died.

Jared’s lips were pulled into a painful smile. “I promised I would never forsake her memory. I would never leave her behind.”

As the story ended, his grip finally loosened, and I pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Yeah, well. Me too.” A smile blossomed on his face. “But it’s going to be great now. You’ll see. She even looked like you, Alexis. She was your height and your build, and she had platinum blond hair, like yours.”

Wonderful. I closed my eyes for a moment, to collect my thoughts. “Here’s the thing, Jared…I think you’re wrong.”

“About what?” he asked.

“About us. Being meant to be together. I don’t think it’s going to work. I think…” Thoughts were crystallizing in my mind. “I don’t think that’s what she’s doing. Because she’s attacking me, too.”

He looked almost amused. “You don’t think it’s going to work?”

I shook my head helplessly.

“But Laina clearly thinks it is.” He shrugged as if that settled it.

“But I don’t want—”

“Alexis.” His eyes turned hard. “Could you please try to think of someone besides yourself for a minute?”

I fell silent.

“I mean, all of the things she’s done—” He lowered his voice. “All of those girls—she did it to keep them away from me. She did it for you. Anyone who ever tries to interfere with us—she’ll take care of them. That’s how much she cares.”

Jared’s face turned into something twisted and ugly. “Kick him to the curb,” he said in a mimicking tone.

Elliot’s words.

So Laina had been there—she’d heard Elliot. It wasn’t just about flirting. It was about anyone who tried to come between us.

“She knew me, down to the tiniest part of my i

I decided to change tactics. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said, keeping my voice light. “I was just thinking about you. I mean, Kasey was here for ten months. What if they make me stay that long?”

“Alexis, it’s so important to me that you get well.” He smiled. “Of course I’ll wait for you. I mean, think about it. If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t have called your therapist and told her there was something wrong.”